EXCELLENCE IN READER EMAIL, 6/10/06
In response to us borrowing Matt Hayes phrase describing Bill Stewart as “Coach Gomer” in our Hayes vs. Hall series last week:
I got your “Coach Gomer” hanging between my legs you 4 eyed, non playing, never played football pussy.
Ladies and gentleman, Shawn, who sends us this email from bridgepark@verizon.net! He got into kolledge, and gud fur himm and hiz coach gommer. It’s true: we’ve never played football. In fact, we’ve never even heard of the game, preferring instead to spend our days trimming orchids and reading Austen reclined in a divan. Is that something rough boys play? Outside, in the hot air?
Our new author photo.
A much more reasoned response to our recent “thoughts” on West Virginia may be found over at WBGV.
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1
ClydeB says:
You didn’t play football? I could have sworn I saw you in at quarterback in the 3rd quarter of the 1995 Florida vs. tenn. game…
June 10th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
2
Orson Swindle says:
We were playing DB for Tennessee, actually. Little trick we liked to pull every now and then.
June 10th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
3
adam says:
If you had said only that this email came from a “Miami” it would have taken me at least two guesses to say which one.
June 10th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
4
domer.mq says:
Was it also you they threw in to QB UCLA against the Irish after the first 9 broke last year?
Also, know who else trims orchids? This guy.
June 10th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
5
Orson Swindle says:
Email address corrected.
June 10th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
6
Ground0EastLansing says:
To be fair, if I attended the only school Minnesota beat last year, I’d still be pissed off at the world.
June 10th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
7
Coop says:
While I would never sink so low as to use the, “you never played football,” argument as it is a cop out, I enjoy it when others do, as it makes me feel better about myself…
and isn’t that why we insult others to begin with?
Although, you might think twice about complaining about your possession WR’s alligator arms or butter hands if you had to venture across the middle versus various head hunting Ss or LBs.
The above never stops me, but I played high school football, and obviously 4A SC football is the same as BCS football, so…
June 10th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
8
Brian O'Blivion says:
It’s 2006 again? Woo-hoo, the glory years…
June 10th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
9
TideDruid says:
WVU: The Jethro Tull of the Big East
June 10th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
10
Barack Obama says:
I’d like to see the WVU fanbase vs. the Alabama fanbase in a who-has-less-of-a-sense-of-humor-about-their-team-getting-criticized-off.
June 10th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
11
Johnny says:
Me too, Doug. Might be worth reporting about in this miserable off season. Kind of a “Who you got” post. Hmmmm….
June 10th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
12
Sullivan says:
It’ll be interesting to see what the WVU bunch thinks about their team when they play a full-sized opponent. Say, like the October 23 game against Auburn.
Not predicting anything, but whatever happens, there *will* be a reassessment about the Spread Offense……one way or another.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
13
The Conscience of a Nation says:
Why do men who claim to be heterosexual and to love pussy call other men that? Is he coming on to you?
June 10th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
14
dabluefan says:
He calls his cameltoe “Coach Gomer”? Weird.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
15
beauford @ theonlygamethatmatters says:
@ 10: You’d have to throw Ohio State in there. There’s nothing more dangerous than a Buckeye behind a keyboard reacting to a slight – real or perceived.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
16
NewAZTiger says:
I distinctly remember playing football with you in Gainesville. Perhaps the drank wiped your memory clean like it did Mr2Cent’s ACL.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
17
Brian O'Blivion says:
13 – because, unlike in cool British movies, it’s not socially acceptable here to call people cunt, only to females in a mean spirited non-funny way. The British really have much better curse words in their vernacular than we do, in general.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
18
Orson Swindle says:
NewAz–
You may also testify to my ability to take a huge hit, as well. Note that since this hit was laid on me by Brian Stouffer, it was in fact the hardest any Notre Dame defender made in 2007.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
19
The Conscience of a Nation says:
That’s not true– I just told Orson this morning not to be a cunt when he was complaining about having to move his car so I could go to work. His response was not gentlemanly.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
20
Brian O'Blivion says:
Well TCOAN, be sure to apologize.
June 10th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
21
austin dave says:
http://www.citynoise.org/upload/15006.jpg
June 10th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
22
nofrescahereinwv says:
I am from and currently reside in West Virginia, and I am tired of the “insest” and “gomers-hanging-betwixt -our-legs” comments. Its bad enough comming from the Vice President. No true Mountaineer has gomers between their legs, and the statistics show that. Rather, we dangle nuclear rainbows between our legs–curiously similar to the one posted above-but totally hedero. And as soon as I am installed as the new WVU president, provost, Dean of the Biz School, Chief of Staff, Chief Counsel, and/or any other such position recently vacated for reasons not material to this issue or Coach Rodreguiez’s departure, I vow to adopt it as our new logo. And it will be beautiful.
June 10th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
23
NewAZTiger says:
18: True, True. And you still have a spleen. And he still has a liver. Irish, my left nut.
June 10th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
24
oc phil says:
#15 Naw, that’s mostly just the one guy with the Alabama/Saban fixation. Considering the amount of crap slung towards tOSU fans after the last two BCS title games and the porn guy in the library, most tOSU fans have shown plenty of restraint.
June 10th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
25
Ltrain says:
#12, not sure I follow – Auburn is putting in a spread this year, so you have 2 teams running some version of it against each other. If Auburn wins due to a purportedly better defense, I’m not sure what it says about the spread?
June 11th, 2008 at 9:59 am
26
UgasTexan says:
#22 I think the current WVU logo would be awesome in rainbow colors. It’s already got that 70’s schwing thing going… And you could paint the little campus monorail rainbow colors… I think you’re on to something there.
June 11th, 2008 at 3:24 pm