1) Schnellenberger — for his sense of perspective, and how the important thing is to stay in the game.

2) Fitz — after all, he’s younger than I am.

3) My dad was dying of cancer during Northwestern’s 1995 miracle season. He was G’town ‘58, so for lack of gridiron-based Hoya action, he would cheer for Michigan (where the father of one of his lifelong friends had been team captain in the ’20s) or any other school that his offspring attended. He took a lot of grief every year from all the Walmart Wolverines and Thrifty Acres Spartans took their money on a lot of uncovered spreads, and had a great time in his final season. The last time I spoke with him was the day after the ‘96 Rose Bowl, and he was proud as a pig of how NU played, despite the beating we took. Two days later, I was flying home on a bereavement ticket, to watch him die. (Thanks, Orson, now the screen’s all blurry.)

4) No kids for me, and that goes double for the Pride of Louisville. But my nephews and nieces are growing up with these truths:
a) Land grant schools suck. Especially tOSU (aka Oh-oh A&M), and Kentucky.
b) Anything from Ohio — unless it’s a student that enrolls at Michigan or Northwestern — sucks, with only Miami U. being somewhat tolerable.
c) All polls are biased at best, and bullshit at their worst.
d) If they screw off in high school, they have to go to a directional college.
e) Southern Cal and Notre Dame are temples of the Antichrist.
f) There’s a time and a place to experiment with drugs — it’s called sophomore year.

2. Bobby Petrino – I imagine getting a Post-it note saying ”Son, I’ve left your mother for a Bennigan’s hostess” would give you some sort of complex.

3. Poppa Bear isn’t a huge college football fan but talked my Mom into taking me along to my sister’s sorority’s Parents Weekend at Auburn. I was 5 and it was pretty amazing to see Bo Jackson run over people. As a Dawgs fan now it pains me to know I cheered on the Multi-Mascoters at Jordan-Hare.

4. The following phrases are absolutely off limits from being said by my son:
”College football games are so long. This game started 3 hours ago.”
”What’s the big deal about Uga? He’s just a dog.”
”Wow – I really like the Vols uniforms.”
”…the Florida-Georgia game…” (correctly said Georgia-Florida in my house)
”Waffle House? C’mon that place is so dirty.”
”I’ll have a Pepsi.”

2. Neuheisel – If you can’t trust your dad, who can you trust?

3. Took my dad to the UF – Miss State game in ‘99. That’s when I learned that he was a 5′6” 165lb walk-on fullback (tackling dummy) his freshman year before taking some time off to kill people in the South Pacific in 1944-45. “being a tackling dummy was much more dangerous”. That and he also told me he’s pretty sure that I was concieved the night after the WLOCP in 1967.

4. Tradishun is nice but it don’t mean squat between the lines. If “It doesn’t matter who wins or loses it’s how you play the game” was true, they wouldn’t keep score.

Tyrone Willingham- first word out his mouth would always be No.

Growing up, my dad would have me wear a Princeton sweatshirt that had “Beware of Tiger” on it. One day, someone said Princeton was nothing to be afraid of. I got back at my dad by going to USC.

Son, go to a school with a big football program so you can feel better about yourself on Saturday.

Appearently that guy took it literally.

2. Can we name dead guys? If so, Woody Hayes. (For the obvious reasons). If not, Petrino. (Life Lesson he would teach: Loyalty is overrated.)

3. My dad taught me that ANY college football game is a million times better than ANY pro game. Case in point: Many years ago, he traveled to KY to see the Gators beat the Wildcats. Afterwards, he told me it was a perfect game – great weather – great score – great fans – great stadium. On his way back to FL, he suffered a fatal heart attack. As awful as that sounds, I was comforted by the fact that his last days were spent doing the one thing that he loved the most….watching CFB. I can’t think of a better way to go.

4. CFB is the great equalizer. On any given Saturday, the underdog CAN win.

2) Urban Meyer strikes me as the type of overbearing dad that would make me resent him and hate football out of spite.

3) The old man was a lifelong Okie fan, and he taught me to hate Nebraska.

4) Always hate the U of A and it’s perfectly fine to kick someone while they’re down.

2. This is where I’d pick Saban or Franchionne.

3. When I left southeast KY for Tuscaloosa (grad school), Dad told me “son, now you’ll see what football is like”. This was DuBose’s next to last year. Thanks, Dad, I could’ve stayed home for football disappointment.

4. My daughter will probably grow up an LSU fan, what with us living in Shreveport. Could be worse, she could get addicted to buffets and penny slots, or worse, Big XII football.

2) Pete Carroll: It’s a no win situation- your dad would always get more pussy, get into the hottest clubs, kick it with superstars all day and everybody that hung out with you would only do so to get close to “The Event” a.k.a. Carroll

3) My dad beat the shit out of an LSU fan one time, RAD. note: only did it because he had to, he was trying hard not to set a bad example.
note 2: Would it ever really set a bad example to kick the shit out of “that” LSU fan? I think everyone’s soul smiles on the inside when LSU fans get smacked on the face with an upward table.

4) I will teach my son that no matter what his little goatee having, Jr rootin, Iron Bowl losing, Brodie fucking classmates have to say, whoever the flavor of the month coach is at Alabama IS NOT GOD.

good talk Russ

Wish I had heard the show last night. I’m sure everyone was kind to the Buckeyes.

2) Bobby Petrino: Absolutely ZERO loyalty. The kind of dad that dumps your biological mother for a new trophy wife (more than once). Also shows no persevearance, as he would rather jump ship on the Falcons than suck it up and rebuild.

3) My dad played football for a year at James Madison University (2004 I-AA National Champs), so he was on me like white on rice when I played Varsity Football. But my best memory with him and football was when Virginia (where im a student) lost the 2008 Gator Bowl. Afterwards, he sees Im about to cry, put his arm around me and says “You’d be Bullsh*ttin if you thought you would be watching Virginia on New Years Day back in August. Y’all had a great year”

4) My kid will appreciate to hate all things Maroon and learn to make fun of VT jean overalls (no joke: They make them), VT Showboating Thugs (The Vicks, MeAngelo Hall, Macho Harris, etc.), and learn that dressing up in your finest orange polo long sleeve, blue and orange tie and blue seer-sucker shorts/pants along with the classic UVA Bar Cap and shades for day games is the only way to dress for saturdays

2) Saban wouldn’t have time for any parenting shit.

3) My dad grew up playing the other kind of football and was good enough to be offered a pro contract, but came to the US instead. I got to take him to his first CFB game, to see USC play in the Rose Bowl.

4) I actually had my two daughters out tossing a football around this afternoon. They won’t ever play the game but they can still learn to win forever and that to be early is to be on time.

2. Phil Fulmer. Genetic obesity, structureless household, and will throw you under the bus, train, plane, car and rickshaw to save himself.

3. My dad stayed in a Northside Jacksonville motel after one Florida-Georgia. It’s a miracle I’m here to talk about it.

4. Tennessee, Georgia, Florida State and Miami are officially off your college search lists. Any derogatory comment about Danny Wuerffel or Tim Tebow shall be greeted with five fingers. Brush your teeth at night or RFN will get you. I don’t care if the other kids make fun of you, orange and blue match. The girls will know that the homeless guy who hasn’t changed in five years will get my permission before any boy named Manning, Fulmer, or Clausen. I’m going to seminary just in case one of the boys develops a midlevel arm, gets tough as a sonofabitch and develops an affinity for hopelessly complex, otherworldly productive offenses.