Bruce Feldman at ESPN has this year’s edition of one of our favorite testosterone-raising articles of the year, the “workout warriors” piece. Our digital copy is covered in awe, so we can’t hand it to you, but we suggest you get your own, and let the following excerpts convince you to go ahead and read the whole thing.

…who throws around 100-pound kettlebells and 180-pound dumbbells….

…asked if he’s even seen anything that big, move that fast, USC strength coach Chris Carlisle paused for a few moments: “Maybe when I walked by the cheetah cage at the wildlife park.”

…Like the time he once killed an alligator with a shovel. Bailey, who wowed Miami coaches with his smooth transition from linebacker to defensive end, was almost as impressive in Miami’s spring workouts where he weighed in at 286 pounds with 8 percent body fat and vertical jumped 38.5 inches and power cleaned 375 pounds — numbers that surely are adding to the Bailey folklore around Coral Gables.

It’s mandatory reading, and something to think about that when you’re using the rubber bands at the gym today. (But they’re the thick heavy ones!) Until you’ve killed an alligator with a shovel, you’ve got some lifting to do, son.