DEAR RICK REILLY
You’re not happy with the “bullshit” printed about you in the October 11th edition of the Curious Index, which appears below in total in the form of a reader email sent to us by a very, very reliable source after the epic Florida/LSU game in 2007.
The pressbox gets a call from press will call saying that somebody claiming to be Rick Reilly is here wanting up to the press box. One of the SID’s goes downstairs to check (Reilly had not requested any credentials before hand) and in fact it was Rick Reilly. He appeared to be drunk/stoned and was accompanied by a blonde that my friend’s wife described as “looking like a stripper.” Given that it was Rick Reilly, he was allowed up to the press box. Where he proceeded to spend the whole game making out with his friend. One of the other SIDs was quoted saying “those two need a room bad.”

Rick Reilly, seen here on the left, is steamed at us. He’s a sportswriter, I think.
You have, on two different occasions in conversations with other bloggers, referenced this as evidence of some of the most troubling things a blog can do. To wit:
“Where’s the journalistic integrity?” Reilly asked. “He has my email — why didn’t he try to verify it?” Indeed, the blonde that “looked like a stripper” accompanied Reilly to the party Friday night, and he confirmed that she’s his live-in girlfriend.
We’re not journalists, for one. We’re bloggers, and as usual, we’ll have to tell you the definition of blogger by telling you that there is no definition. Yet, you mentioned it again to You Been Blinded recently, as well:
RR: The responsibility. I don’t think there is much. Sure you don’t have editors or bosses but you can still be responsible. There’s a site, Every Day Should Be Saturday, that wrote some bullshit about us (gesturing to his girlfriend) that was just wrong. They didn’t double check, they didn’t call me, they just printed it. Call me, I’m available, I’m out there.
You complain that we didn’t contact you, but calling you would have served no utility whatsoever, since we assume you would deny the entire thing, which is what we assume public figures of any note do, especially when someone posts an item under the header “specious rumor.” You’re also nowhere near as available as you claim to be: after the With Leather entry, we tried to get a hold of you but found no listed phone number, no media guy who had it, and only a “share a story” link on your web site to contact. (This may be different now with ESPN.com, but we haven’t tried that addy yet. Email forthcoming.)
Nevertheless, you’re honked, and you have a right to be, even if some of us think the term “looking like a stripper” is a compliment where we’re from, sir. In fact, notice that if you actually did this with anyone, especially your live-in girlfriend, we thought such rock star behavior bumped you up in our estimation.
However, if you are as honked as you claim to be, here’s a novel proposal: call me. My number’s here.
My proposal to make amends is simple: we make something positive of this. We both agree to participate in the Clay Travis Quiz Bowl challenge, pitting mainstream sports journos against bloggers such as myself. The proceeds go to your outstanding charity Nothing But Nets, a cause of mutual interest since you seem to care about it quite a lot, and I spent a good deal of my twenties working with a refugee aid agency with clients from malaria-affected regions of the world.
Deal proposed. Call us and we’ll raise some money for a good cause. Everyone wins, except for your Quiz Bowl team, of course, who will be humiliated into tears of blood when the bloggers go Obama on your collection of Hillarys.
Love,
Orson Swindle, the pen name of Spencer Hall, who is a blogger and not a journalist, and who is immensely available at all times because he is not pulling down Rick Reilly kwan from the World Wide Leader, and most likely never will.









1
Len Bias Cocaine Suprlus says:
But have you ever read W.C. Heinz?
June 5th, 2008 at 10:18 am
2
gosouthgohard says:
Rick Reilly may have the coin, but he will never have the kwan.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:21 am
3
Bones says:
lol @ “the kwan”
June 5th, 2008 at 10:24 am
4
Jerkwheat says:
But does Rick feel really passionately about this?
That’s the only way I know how to judge the true feelings of the old guard.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:26 am
5
Paragon SC says:
As usual…
Well played sir!!
June 5th, 2008 at 10:29 am
6
sb says:
I didn’t know Nothing But Nets had such a strong interest in eradicating malaria…certainly something to be proud of…
June 5th, 2008 at 10:32 am
7
maskedavenger says:
Orson,
What is your 6-subject “dream board”?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=botdmsQilnU
June 5th, 2008 at 10:36 am
8
MorningBeer says:
Tiger Stadium’s press box needs an upgrade.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:37 am
9
Sundawg says:
You realize that if he contacts you, the terrorists have won.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:39 am
10
woooooohoooooo says:
Who is this “Rick Riley” assclown and why is he clogging up my access to college football commentary?
June 5th, 2008 at 10:46 am
11
jebus says:
I find that assholes only get upset when you say things about them that are true. I mean, they’re always upset, because they’re assholes, but they get upset with you, specifically, when you tell the truth about them.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:50 am
12
ThreenOut says:
I’m not saying they won’t…. but I have some doubts as to whether some of the greater mainstream writers will step up to this.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:51 am
13
gerry dorsey says:
just in case this story every makes it onto hbo or some such, i want my name to get mentioned…so here goes:
Good riddance, f*ckface”, “So long ya fetus-faced windbag”, “Good luck managing a Denny’s douchebag
June 5th, 2008 at 10:52 am
14
mlmintampa says:
Re 1: Yes I have read The Professional.
/cue anger since blogger is smarter than you are
June 5th, 2008 at 10:54 am
15
sonofsamford says:
Ironic that a journalist doesn’t have enough sense to just let a little blurb like that drift into obscurity. I liked him more after reading it the first time. He and his girlfriend should be happy that she looks like a stripper.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:56 am
16
Billy From Baton Rouge says:
Wow imagine how pissed Reills would be if you printed a rumor that he was had a 9 handicap.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:57 am
17
Allahver Fist says:
The only solution is to print more bullshit.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:59 am
18
LL says:
Reilly just wrote an article for ESPN about how his Dad was an alcoholic who spent more time playing golf than with his kids and that it made him want to be around his kids and a better father to them. Hmmm.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:00 am
19
GamecockTony says:
Did she look like a stripper in the Gold Club sense or the Mike Price sense? That’s the important question.
@ Masked- “Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?” is my drunken go-to Trivial Pursuit answer.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:03 am
20
jebus says:
All of these MSM v Bloggers beefs aren’t exactly East Coast v West Coast rappers, but they’re still good. I hope it will raise the level of writing on both sides. Can’t wait for the EDSBS version of “Big Poppa”.
Throw ya hands in the aya if youse a true playa!
June 5th, 2008 at 11:16 am
21
hunglikehussain says:
O, so which polymath’s will be chosen for Team Blog?
June 5th, 2008 at 11:17 am
22
Orson Swindle says:
Our team remains a secret of sorts, though if you did enough diligent searching you could find out who’s going to be on it. (Trying to save some ammo for Clay’s column later this week/next week.)
June 5th, 2008 at 11:23 am
23
odell51 says:
Tell Rick to get over it. After seeing the cover of ESPN with Chad naked tell him to put some fucking clothes on and get to the first down marker on 3rd and long. Not too hard to do asshole. Maybe the fans in Cincinnati will welcome you back if you go back to making plays, which you did not do last year.
Scapegoat? FUCK YOU. People in Cincinnati know football, just like the rest of the USA, we hate you because you dropped mad balls last year and didn’t get to to marker on key downs in key games.
Ever since he got jacked up against Cleveland last year he has been nothing but a bitch.
Put that in your article Chad.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:27 am
24
sonofsamford says:
#19
http://tinyurl.com/6pbkv7
http://tinyurl.com/664xaa
June 5th, 2008 at 11:27 am
25
Jerkwheat says:
and so, in losing the Blogger/MSM quiz bowl, Rick learned that the greater lesson was to not lose ones self…
June 5th, 2008 at 11:30 am
26
meatybob says:
Actually, the journalistic integerity is fine, “she LOOKED like a stripper” does not equate to “she IS a stripper”. What are you going to do, check with Reilly to see if the girl he was with looked like a stripper or not?
Reilly is a dumbass, he must support a playoff.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:35 am
27
meatybob says:
in college football that is….
June 5th, 2008 at 11:38 am
28
Ryno says:
I’m going to refrain from insulting Reilly now.
Spencer issued a polite and formal challange and calling him a douche isn’t the quickest way to earn a positive response.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:39 am
29
Coop says:
@ 18
Almost half of his SI back page columns referenced, or was the subject of his entire article, his family, specifically his children.
They never had anything to do with sports, just perspective pieces written to “make us think and cherish what is important.”
I bet the kids adore Pops for trading in Mom to lease a newer model.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:47 am
30
Jester says:
Orson just put the laughter in manslaughter.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
31
Ground0EastLansing says:
#21 – I think Will Leitch and Brian are two of the members of said team.
They better hold up their end of the quiz bowl for the Big 10, I don’t want Orson to be Tebowesque in his performance and tout the ESS EEE CEE’S BRAIN SPEED in the Curious Index the day after.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
32
Out of Conference says:
Not going to happen. When Hanna Barbera issued a challenge to Mickey, Daffy, and the gang for the Laugh Olympics, the Mouse declined. I don’t see the Mouse letting their prized journalists, or Reilly, taking you up on your challenge.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
33
Davis says:
Reilly is assured to be the top button on a two-button Polo. He’s no Steve Rushin (who has integrity) Journalism, my ass. Reilly spins dinner plates and juggles hammers for a living. I didn’t think he could be more of a prick than when he was at SI. Since his “ascension” to the Worldwide Leader, he has become a class-A knob jockey. Inconceiveable! I would put Orson’s “Slippery Man” post up against anything Reilly ever thought about committing to print. May the god of your choosing bless you, Spencer.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
34
Ryno says:
out of conference,
And I’ll never forgive them for it. Bastards!
The Elroy Jetson, Bobo, Manialla Gorilla, and Snagglepuss team was a force to be reckoned with.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
35
Out of Conference says:
All kidding aside though, Rick Reilly wrote a very good piece on an acquaintance of mine’s son that ran cross-country in high school and finished every single race even though he has cerebral palsy- often times an hour or more behind the next to last finisher. So besides his parents, Rick Reilly is probably this kid’s biggest hero.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
36
DC Trojan says:
Coop @ 29 – I’m going to circle today’s date on the calendar, because I agree with you, and not in some snarky way either.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
37
Out of Conference says:
Ryno – They canceled the Laugh Olympics after Grape Ape showed up on the set effed up on Purple Drank wanting to show everyone his f*ck lion.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
38
comoprozac says:
As a fellow blogger, I really appreciate your counter-attack on a so-called “journalist”. In the land of too many journalists (aka Columbia, MO), there is a lot hub-bub over citizen journalism taking over. I believe that if professional journalists were better at their job, there would be no need for the blogosphere. Well done, Orson!
June 5th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
39
kt says:
It is better for college football when getting stoned/drunk is relevant.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
40
NewAZTiger says:
Post 40 yet the first with “TTIWWOP”
So, intarweb folkens, find the pic of Reily’s dame and search the background for a stripper pole, a dj booth, or PAC-MAN Jones making it rain.
We need proof, and if we can’t find proof, we’ll have LSUFreek manufacture it!
June 5th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
41
Holly says:
And going on Cowherd! Way to make a reasonable case, sir.
June 5th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
42
OhioDawg says:
Orson – this isn’t a smartass question: is Spencer Hall a journalist due to the SN column? Just wondering if you do things differently over there.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
43
Harris says:
Pfft, like Reilly’s never seen Page Six. You don’t get to go on TV and write bestsellers while still claiming to be a private citizen. If he had any sense, he’d have let the issue die.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
44
robert says:
I always thought the point of getting paid beaucoup dollas was so that one didn’t have to pay attention to people (comparatively) poorer than oneself?
June 5th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
45
chg says:
Just in case some of you are out of practice, you should get some advice from those more in form beforehand.
If you want pure academics, go with PACE. Go with NAQT if you want questions more accessible for the average sports journalist. NAQT sprinkles a couple of sports, pop culture, and math computation questions in each match, while PACE is pretty much limited to straight book lernin.
Whooooo! Esss-eee-seee buzzer speed!
June 5th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
46
tempebamafan says:
Brian cook
is a fucking douche. reilly, cook, and bissinger should form their own three man tag team in the interest of “unity”. they could call themselves “Douche; nossle, hose, applicator” or possibly “triumvirate of ill-informed a holes who spout off about subjects of which they have no clue” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
47
tennis tom says:
I was there in the pressbox and saw Reilly. I can’t speak to whether he was high or whatever, but there certainly wasn’t any journalism going on. He barely watched the game.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
48
bigyaz says:
“I didn’t contact you for comment because I’m guessing you would have just denied it anyway” is the weakest excuse going.
It has nothing to do with whether you define yourself as a blogger or a journalist or a dickwad. It’s about being an adult, having some balls, and taking some responsibility. Until you man up and show you can do that nobody will ever take you seriously.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
49
oc phil says:
What bugs me about Reiley isn’t his talent/success ratio, it is that the ratio is mediocre AND he’s so smug.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
50
Orson Swindle says:
“Until you man up and show you can do that nobody will ever take you seriously.”
That’s certainly the hope, as being taken seriously is the last thing we want to happen around here.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:21 pm