THE EDSBS MAILBAG: GIVE US YOUR BORED, YOUR THREATS, YOUR POORLY PHRASED THINLY VEILED SOLICITATIONS

by Holly Anderson on Jun 4, 2008 11:45 AM EDT

We asked; you answered: Following the posting of the Pac-10 EDSBS Custom Cocktails, we began researching a companion piece on Division I Shots and put out feelers to college towns across America for the local flavors that give their fans a quick fix. We received a slew (that can't be a real word) of responses from Readers Like You, clamoring to be included in the next fine installment. The most notable are collected below for your imbibing pleasure. Stay thirsty, my friends.

Dear EDSBS,

I'm a South Carolina fan, so I just can't resist relaxing with a hearty jug of this all-season favorite at the game!

Sincerely, Bobby in Columbia

*****

Dear EDSBS,

Usually, by noon, I'm feeling pretty efflorescent. I think that means "too drunk". It must, because that's when I start drinking this:

Takes my efflorescence right off, along with my esophogeal lining. Plus: Safer than Muriatic Acid!

Yours in tracheotomy, Louis from THA U

*****

Dear Fuckface,

GOVAWLS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Troy in Tennessee
*****

Dear sir,

Here in Ann Arbor, our shooter of choice goes down as smoothly as...well, as life!

Very truly, Mitch in Ann Arbor

(For rills, though: Three more months of this until honest-to-Phil-Steele's-parietal-lobe football, and we're well and truly racked enough with ennui to implement what will surely be a monumentally ill-advised Wednesday mailbag. Hit me. And before you ask, and speaking of racking, the Property Of Mister Tebow picture is still back there in the archives somewhere, so if you want to see tits go fetch it your ownself.)

Tweet Comment 11 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

i see that you’ve been making up for the lack of cheesecake last week by having semi-attractive girls in your t-shirt ads. +5 cocktails to you sir.

by ThreenOut on Jun 4, 2008 11:48 AM EDT reply actions

the Pac-10 Custom Cocktails link didn’t work

by SoCalBryan on Jun 4, 2008 11:53 AM EDT reply actions

Fixed.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 4, 2008 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

Fuckface…is that directed towards Mr. Swindle himself, or EDSBS Enterprises, Inc. in whole? I just feel so naughty lumping Ms. Holly into the “Fuckface” crowd.

GOVAWLS WOOOOOOO!

by Aerobab on Jun 4, 2008 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

Is that a penis pump on that orange fuel tank, or what?

by PeterPumpkinhead on Jun 4, 2008 12:28 PM EDT reply actions

@ 1

I am acquaintances with two of the co-founders of CollegeHumor.com. They sell those types of t-shirts and use the “real girls” in their ads.

However, one of the two co-founders has a place in the Hamptons, and he is under 30, and his girlfriend looks nothing like the women who model his ironic clothing line.

I guess my point is, good for him.

by Coop on Jun 4, 2008 12:32 PM EDT reply actions

There should be more about cocktails IMO. I like a drinky drinky now and again. And again.

by UgasTexan on Jun 4, 2008 12:45 PM EDT reply actions

Efflorescence is leached salts on water saturated & dried masonry (usually concrete block) that form a whitish accumulation on the surface.

It’s to be expected and perfectly logical that THA U fans would lick concrete blocks and chase it w/ efflorescence remover. Out of sheer boredom, no doubt, as we established yesterday that there’s more to do in Boone versus Coarl Gables and South Beach.

by yoyofutbawl on Jun 4, 2008 1:43 PM EDT reply actions

karo + carbonated water + lemon/lime = sprite

by Brian on Jun 4, 2008 2:03 PM EDT reply actions

Now you just need Bourbon

by James on Jun 4, 2008 4:47 PM EDT reply actions

…..Auburn Gasoline: mix in an old gallon milk jug:
1 Liter of Everclear
1 Liter of Bacardi 151
1 Liter of Double Tvarsk Vodka
8 scoops of Orange Kool-ade.
6 scoops of table sugar.

…..Shake well, then top off with water, and chill. Looks like gasoline in the jug, kicks like gasoline in the gullet.

…..War Eagle!

by Acid Reign on Jun 4, 2008 6:47 PM EDT reply actions