CURIOUS INDEX, 6/4/08
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The University of Washington just lost their leading tackler from last season, linebacker E.J. Savannah, because he broke his arm. How? Cue the mad tack piano chase music that is the theme music for all things Washington football:in an arm-wrestling match. Exclusive footage of a parallel event that is slightly similar but not really below! Don’t watch before breakfast! The injury takes 2-3 months to recover from, meaning he’ll be a weak go for the opening month of the season. This will not affect the juggernaut that is Washington football at all. Don James cried himself to sleep…again. Keep the wacky piano music playing. Syracuse has lost their leading receiver, Mike Williams, to “academic issues.” He scored 10 of the 24 TDs Syracuse tallied last year. In comparison: Tim Tebow had 55 TDs passing and rushing last year by his lonesome. Correction: scored with the help of his Lord and savior Jesus Christ. West Virginia could be seizing the lead in the Fulmer Cup if an ongoing investigation yields evidence that Pugh was involved with the use of a stolen credit card taken from a car in a West Virginia University parking garage last week. But hey, he allegedly used deductive powers of reasoning to find the car, pressing the PANIC button to find the car! That and being related to the governor would certainly be worth, what, an MBA and a Ph.D? The process seems invasive, if the headline from the WV Gazette is to be believed:
WOOOOOO LISTS! Chris and ourselves shamelessly list away in the first installment of the Enumerative. Cricket is good for beer, bad for interest. |
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1
DevilGrad says:
With the use of Deliverance-style interrogation techniques, the Morgantown police should have a confession in now time.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:52 am
2
DevilGrad says:
*no* time. (Damn my typing.)
June 4th, 2008 at 8:53 am
3
ThreenOut says:
Yachting is awesome.
when you rule and own a yacht like me.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:54 am
4
beckett says:
I honestly remember reading a post-season recap in January of WVU and players returning… and they mentioned Pugh:
“Charles Pugh returns next season as well. Pugh, mostly known for drawing ridiculous personal foul penalties on special teams…”
Looks like he’s ready to drop those memories…
June 4th, 2008 at 9:04 am
5
carlinthemarlin says:
Say what you want about Nascar (I’ll go ahead and call it the most retarded “sport” on the planet), but F1 can be pretty freaking sweet, especially if they’re on a course like downtown Monte Carlo. You know, where they drive hundreds of miles an hour down tight street in an urban center that predates the declaration of independence by at least 500 years.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:07 am
6
Doug says:
Well, I turned 30 today, so they say now’s as good a time as any to schedule a physical and get my own Pugh probed. I’ll let you know if they find anything serious.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:13 am
7
OhioDawg says:
I think Tebow would like to thank the 6 pound 8 ounce baby Jesus who, in turn, would like to thank him for a nice job at the bris.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:13 am
8
Crabapple Buck says:
Pay attention Michigan, this is your future!
Happy birthday Doug. 30 isn’t bad, but you begin the slide closer to 50. I’m middle age if I live to be 102.
I thought the corrections came on Friday. I stand corrected. I wonder if Tebow could have made a noticeable difference in the Syracuse offense last year. Jim Brown cries himself to sleep at the state of SU football.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:21 am
9
CincySooner says:
“at least it has violence”… so true.
Orson, feel free to link to The Enumerative anytime a new list comes out. The Force is strong with this idea.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:25 am
10
Jester says:
Does anybody have any WVU MBA’s lying around…I’m all outta dimp paper.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:30 am
11
shovel pass says:
ok, lets ask the obvious question. In the Pugh case, was the owner of the car alive or dead?
June 4th, 2008 at 9:33 am
12
Orson Swindle says:
We read in an article in Wired about the Ferrari/McLaren scandal. The downforce from an F1 car is so powerful that, in theory, the cars could drive on the roof of the tunnel at Monte Carlo.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:47 am
13
blon57 says:
It is good to hear that some men think baseball is boring. I’ve always felt that the sport is as exciting as watching grass grow. I never understood the devotion. Guys told me it was because I was a woman. I dumped a boyfriend that played baseball for my college team. I told him that I refused to go watch him play and if he couldn’t live with that..well, we were finished.
The guy ended up playing in the majors. Definitely dodged a bullet on that relationship. I can’t imagine spending hours at a damn baseball game several times a week. Probably would have ended up in divorce court over my refusal to go to any games.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:19 am
14
AUgrad says:
Maybe not the fifteen day test match (5, 15, what’s the difference after the first hour?), but you can definitely try watching the newest (and shortest) version of cricket – Twenty 20.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pro20
June 4th, 2008 at 10:29 am
15
Coop says:
I feel confident that George Will could kick your ass. He looks cagey.
That SNL sketch where Carvey played Will hosting a game show “Baseball Jeopardy,” which ended with Tommy Lasorda and Mike Schmidt chasing Will with bats, maybe maybe not, was funny though.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:42 am
16
gerry dorsey says:
i’m not watching that video before breakfast, after breakfast, or any other time.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:58 am
17
The Penguin says:
“Nothing happens in baseball; that’s why people resort to accounting to keep it interesting. ” Absolutely spectacular! I’m a baseball fan, myself, but this line is brilliant beyond measure. +1, or whatever.
June 4th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
18
twogreattastes says:
Blon 57, you probably find baseball boring, not because you’re a woman, but because you don’t realize the level of strategy involved. For every single action in the game, there is a conscious decision made as to why that action is the best one to take. Every pitch to every hitter has a thought out decision behind it. Many people, women and men alike, either aren’t aware of this, or simply don’t care to acknowledge the ultimate chess match that a well-played baseball game is.
To counter the baseball is so boring it needs accounting line, I offer this: Baseball is slow only to the slow minded.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
19
twogreattastes says:
Also, blon 57, any guy that tells you that you don’t get baseball because you’re a woman is a total dipshit and deserves to be dumped.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
20
blon57 says:
#17 & #18
Having spent my entire life around football (most of my male relatives are playing and/or played the game, most made it to the collegiate level and above), nothing compares to football. Period.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:30 pm