COUNTDOWN: 86
She’s the kitchen wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her but to make a lamp of her and run her from her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.
[p/s Happy Mustache Wednesday! You can shave it off, honey, but we know it's there, and so does your crimson elephant-god.]










1
Texas_Dawg says:
Anyone know if this is real?
June 4th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
2
CincySooner says:
So is the a Tahd fan or a Sooners fan? because both camps hate their respective orange UT.
June 4th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
3
CincySooner says:
sigh… 86 days… I’m not gonna make it
June 4th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
4
ChiTiger says:
My Guess would be an Aggie…nobody hates UT like the Aggies.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
5
Ryan says:
comedy of errors indeed
June 4th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
6
intellidouche says:
Pretty sure she’s a bulldawg. The shirt has some black in it.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
7
Unhappy Monkey says:
Texas Dawg @1,
Don’t know if it is real or not, but I will be over that way to pick up a load of Coors for their drinking pleasure at the Truck Rodeo and I’ll let ya know.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
8
yoyofutbawl says:
That looks like some fine Lower Alabama poontang to me.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
9
Unhappy Monkey says:
“their drinking pleasure”
Big and Little Enos Burdette, that is.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
10
hailstate says:
Um…I have a question. Are you — the person wearing the t-shirt — the slut, or is some random UT coed not wearing a t-shirt with the word “SLUT” emblazoned upon it, the slut?
When you point the finger of irony, three fingers point back at you.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
11
Holly says:
She pops up on the first page of google hits for “Alabama fans”, which is what I was searching for in the first place, so I’m going to venture out on a limb and say the lady supports the Crimson Tide, and therefore deserves my scorn.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
12
SoCalBryan says:
Sooner Fan!
June 4th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
13
blon57 says:
Must be an Oklahoma fan. The shirt is red, not maroon, plus girls that attend A&M are not ugly. I’ve seen some extremely unattractive people on the OU side of the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. Living in trailers isn’t good for the skin.
And, it isn’t exactly hate the Aggies feel for UT. It is more like what a younger sibling feels for an older, smarter sibling. A little bit of an inferiority complex. UT grads just want to go by and pat all those little Aggies on the head.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
14
Wes says:
They don’t make them any classier than in Tuscalooser, Alabama, my friends.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
15
Brian O'Blivion says:
Thanks for not using this one Holly (kinda NSFW or your eyes).
June 4th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
16
blon57 says:
#11 & #14
Wow. And we thought OU was bad.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
17
Coop says:
@ 1
Is it real? Probably not.
But, it could be, and if it is the judge is obviously in on the absurdity, but I would have preferred he would have sent them to federal district court in DC if they could not settle their differences like other judges do, since federal court in DC deems itself superior to the other US district courts.
I have read motions where lawyers used similar ridiculous reasons for venue changes, but those are usually the desperate pleas of an attorney to get out of whatever jurisdiction the matter was currently in.
This motion is merely for taking depos, and the location of where they were given would have no bearing on the matter, naturally.
So, yeah, it could be real. There are a couple of websites dedicated to bringing insane, and of course filed, court documents to light, and the causes of action are always humorous.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
18
blon57 says:
Okay…add #15 to my last post. Words fail me.
I don’t believe I have seen anything that bad, even from OU.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
19
Holly says:
@Brian–I considered it, but I couldn’t look at it long enough to put the numbers on it.
Swing low, sweet chariots.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
20
okiedomer says:
#13
a few corrections:
1. we’re crimson, not red
2. are you seriously going to compare aggy women to Sooner hots? really? i give credit to the hots at all texass schools, except aggy, where there are no hots
3. we kindof own you – just wanted to remind you of that
June 4th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
21
gerry dorsey says:
holly @ 11,
i’m not even going to stand here and try to defend this bohemeth, or claim she isn’t a tide fan, but if everyone took google images as truth, phil fulmer would work at krispy kreme, play the role of “fat bastard”, and be a post katrina looter.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
22
Jester says:
#6…she defintely is a bulldawg. just look her face.
oh, ya mean Georgia fan?
June 4th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
23
gurn says:
Wow. A bammer skank with more chins than a Chinese phone book calling other women sluts.
About par for the course.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
24
DC Trojan says:
re: shaving a mustache – a dollar says she’s already engaged in aggressive hair management on her hind quarters. If you’ve already got the depilatory out for that, a little dab’ll do ya for the upper lip, I would imagine.
As for #s 15 & 19 – That cleavage is reminiscent of the Donner Pass – not because of its amazing breadth, but because men chew their own legs off to escape.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
25
Holly says:
if everyone took google images as truth, phil fulmer would work at krispy kreme, play the role of “fat bastard”, and be a post katrina looter.
….all those things are true! QEDMF!
June 4th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
26
Olive says:
#4 -
If that girl is an Aggie, she would have been burned alive immediately after this photo was taken, for referring to that other school as something other than TU.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
27
Picture Me Rollin says:
Holly,
I can’t help but notice that since you are repatriated to the promised land -Dixie as a whole, not just Tennessee- that the ire is coursing through your veins with proper vim and vigor – oh and I should probably point out that on any given day I would shun such a creature as you have mocked us with however, during the afternoon hours of October 21, 2007 I would have embraced her in a celebratory passion reserved for a long lost love. Come to think of it, I probably did.
Welcome home.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
28
Picture Me Rollin says:
gurn – Go back to listening to Finebaum and leave the internets to the big kids, you fucking douchebag.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
29
Holly says:
Thank you, sir. Good to be back.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
30
blon57 says:
#13
Dear Okiedomer;
First of all crimson is red. A pigment of the color red. Still red.
I have friends that attended A&M and yes, they are all very attractive. I’m not sure where you were in College Station, but I assure you, the women of A&M are, for the most part, attractive. All Texas women are known for just that quality.
You own us. Please. So we have had a few rough years in Dallas. As with every outstanding football program, we will bounce back.
I do wish you luck staying out of trouble and off probation. It is just a matter of time before a few of your players end up at that car dealership again. Maybe your new quarterback needs a summer job? Check out Burnt Orange Nation. Good article on what he might be doing this summer. All in good fun, of course.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
31
Brian O'Blivion says:
How this thread hasn’t devolved into a Bama-AU flame war, I’ll never know. A mere mention of Bama used to trigger it around here. Maybe this will work, or a future countdown pic?
June 4th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
32
Holly says:
I know. I was blatantly angling for one out of sheer boredom. WHITHER, TIGERS.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
33
impiri says:
Lindsay Bluth would be proud.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
34
kleph says:
crimson elephant god. awesome.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
35
guest says:
blon57,
There are some good looking women in collie station, but as a whole the coeds down there are pretty plain, especially for a school with 50,000 students. Look around the stands the next time you’re at a cult rally and you will see a lot of 5’s in maroon shirts with their hair pulled back and no makeup on. This is definitely not the case in Austin, Lubbock, or Fort Worth.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
36
MiseanAUFan says:
Excellent caption!
June 4th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
37
MiseanAUFan says:
holly @ 11,
i’m not even going to stand here and try to defend this bohemeth, or claim she isn’t a tide fan, but if everyone took google images as truth, phil fulmer would work at krispy kreme, play the role of “fat bastard”, and be a post katrina looter.
Only when he isn’t the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
June 4th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
38
sb says:
…and greasy Joan doth keel the pot…
June 4th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
39
okiedomer says:
blon57,
maroon is also a pigment of the color red – probably should have remembered what i was responding to before responding without thinking
and #35 is right – and i’d even add waco to his list – but not aggy
and a few rough years in dallas is a nice way of saying 2-6 in the new millenium – and outstanding programs have more than 4 measly titles
but i do like the car dealership joke, especially in light of bitches neeedin’ to get kicked and your whole summer last year
June 4th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
40
Der Schatten says:
Shiiiiiiiit, even as a Bama alum, I’d tap that after a case of ‘Stones (My new neighbors in Iowa know EXACTLY what I’m talkin’ about!) LOL!
See e.g., http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/20/things-black-and-gold-people-like/
June 4th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
41
NCT says:
“Crimson elephant god”?
Please let’s not dishonor the Lord Ganesha with our petty college football rivalries.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
42
Texas_Dawg says:
@ #1
Here’s the court order in .jpg format.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
43
AgRyan04 says:
Gang, that is an OU Sooner shirt.
If it was an A&M shirt it would say t.u., not UT.
If it was an Alabama shirt the orange wouldn’t be the hideous burnt orange but the bright blind yourself orange of Tennessee.
Thirdly, I’ve read about (in either a real publicated article or a book) that shirt being seen at the fairgrounds in Dallas.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
44
Sullivan says:
Re: ‘..Shirt being seen at the fairgrounds of Dallas…’
On the blue ribbon heifer or one of the also rans?
June 4th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
45
the croominator says:
Somewhat off-topic…today’s my 35th birthday, and my sister-in-law just gave me a signed first edition hardcover of the great classic book re: the Alabama-Auburn rivalry, “Bragging Rights” by Bill Cromartie. This should help me get through a small part of the offseason.
Proving that even hellfire-breathing bitches can give decent gifts on occassion.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:43 am
46
NCT says:
@45
Happy birthday. 35 hit me worse than 30 and 40 combined. Go figure.
Re Cromartie: See also _Clean Old-Fashioned Hate_ on the Georgia-Georgia Tech rivalry.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t press on with a plug for my fraternity brother Cale Conley’s _War Between the States_ on the Georgia-Florida series.
Both are fun for college football fans (esp. Southern) even without having a Dawg in the fights.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:23 am
47
Wes says:
#40
hahaha classic!
June 5th, 2008 at 7:46 am
48
AllWhoYonder says:
please, I beg of you. Just get another post up. I can’t take looking at that picture anymore.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:57 am
49
Texas_Dawg says:
Oklahoma fan. This isn’t a tough call. Fix the error and move on.
June 5th, 2008 at 8:02 am
50
ChemE93 says:
i’m not even going to stand here and try to defend this bohemeth, or claim she isn’t a tide fan, but if everyone took google images as truth, phil fulmer would work at krispy kreme, play the role of “fat bastard”, and be a post katrina looter.
Only when he isn’t the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Don’t forget taking bad pursuit angles for the Denver Broncos.
Re: why there wasn’t a Auburn-bama flame war, that’s for two reasons: 1.) It wouldn’t have been a true thread jack. So not nearly as fun. 2.) You showed an overweight trailer chick and mentioned Tennessee. For a bama fan, that’s like giving something shiny to a monkey. He can’t focus on anything else for at least 3 hours.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:14 am