ADVENTURES IN TIME WITH LI'L RED
by Orson on Jun 4, 2008 10:52 AM EDT
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PrintLi'l Red is the inflatable sideline mascot for Nebraska. He terrifies us like no other mascot, a jiggling amoebic giant with a toddler's face who moves with a herky-jerky gait and will, at his most frightening moments, walk on his disturbingly short hands. He's like something out of a David Lynch movie, and we don't mean something good out of a David Lynch movie like an extremely long lesbian love scene with Naomi Watts. We mean something like the heartplugs from Dune, or the midget from Twin Peaks. He simply scares the hide off of us.
Anyway, we thought he would have the same effect on people throughout human history. Thus, a fictional premise was cooked up and sent to LSUFreek. We just stood behind a blast shield and waited for the returned project to explode into our inbox, and explode it did. Any and all credit goes to him and him alone, especially for the phrase "Baby Geezus in a Chicken Basket!"
EDSBS presents: Adventures in Time With Li'l Red. (Click for a larger image)
All praise to Freek, and stay tuned for more Adventures in Time with L'il Red, kids!
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Big Red actually terrifies me more, ’counta being amorphous and all. Thank god they never play each other.
by Holly on Jun 4, 2008 11:02 AM EDT reply actions
Ah yes, the Apollonian (Li’l Red) and the Dionysian (nuclear war).
/nothing new under the sun
by hunglikehussain on Jun 4, 2008 11:08 AM EDT reply actions
Big Red doesn’t scare me…she/he/it is just funny.
Now Joe Vandal, that’s another story.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jun 4, 2008 11:09 AM EDT reply actions
Au contraire, Holly.
9/4/2010: WKU visits Lincoln.
This must be part of the Dark Angel’s glorious plan.
by Adam West's chauffeur on Jun 4, 2008 11:13 AM EDT reply actions
/threadjack
http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/uga/stories/2008/06/04/lomax_0605.html
/end threadjack
by hunglikehussain on Jun 4, 2008 11:15 AM EDT reply actions
All Hail General Lil’ Red! And his wonderful new regime!
Signed,
little girl
by meatybob on Jun 4, 2008 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
This new feature gets my full, Fred McGriff-style endorsement. I can hardly wait to see Lil’ Red Pop-n-Lock his way through history.
by Kernel on Jun 4, 2008 11:22 AM EDT reply actions
I’ll be interested to see what happens with Li’l Red when he drops in on Bastille Day and is brought to the guillotine.
by Geaux Irish on Jun 4, 2008 11:27 AM EDT reply actions
BS.
We all know that it was Ryan Perrilloux who tore that **** up in Japan.
Typical hollywood. Take a story, replace the black man with a whitey from the midwest and put their little spin on it.
by ThreenOut on Jun 4, 2008 11:27 AM EDT reply actions
Paul Tibbets, the guy who dropped the bomb? Florida grad. WE BRING THE THUNDER, SON.
by Orson Swindle on Jun 4, 2008 11:28 AM EDT reply actions
It will be a crying shame for LSU Freek if some mid-major radio announcer doesn’t add that to his signature call “Jarvis breaks free at the five and BABY GEEZUS IN A CHICKEN BASKET! Touchdown Red RaiderTigerRocketPonies!”
by Kenny on Jun 4, 2008 11:29 AM EDT reply actions
Didn’t David Lynch’s Dune have a scene with a cat duck taped to a rat? I don’t seem to remember that one from the book. However, the music by Toto is awesome.
by ToddlyKSU on Jun 4, 2008 12:07 PM EDT reply actions
Au contraire, Swindle @ 12: Tibbets was merely the pilot who authorized the dropping of the bomb. The Thunder bringer who actually released the weapon: Thomas Ferebee…Lees-McRae College grad.
But I digress…Go Start Nuclear War!
by Aerobab on Jun 4, 2008 12:20 PM EDT reply actions
From Wikipedia:
On August 5, 1945, Tibbets formally named B-29 serial number 44-86292 Enola Gay after his mother (she was named after the heroine, Enola, of a novel her father had liked). On August 6, the Enola Gay departed Tinian Island in the Marianas with Tibbets at the controls at 2:45 a.m. for Hiroshima, Japan. The atomic bomb, codenamed Little Boy, was dropped over Hiroshima at 8:15 a.m. local time. Some 140,000 Japanese were killed, and many more died thereafter.
by hobeg8r on Jun 4, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
- “That’s alright, that’s OK, we’re going to have nuclear fission one day!”
by Kenny on Jun 4, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
/threadjack #2
http://omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10349611
rack ’em up ’Skerz!
Li’l Red is sorely disappointed that Teafatiller only blew a .20.
/end threadjack #2
by Adam West's chauffeur on Jun 4, 2008 12:36 PM EDT reply actions
9/4/2010: WKU visits Lincoln.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Duck and cover, humanity. Fuck the Mayan calendar; this here’s the end times.
p/s And who enriched the lovely uranium for this little jaunt? THASSRIGHT.
by Holly on Jun 4, 2008 12:39 PM EDT reply actions
Lil Red v the Hindenburg. I can’t wait.
Big Red reminds me of Gossamer from the Bugs Bunny cartoons:
http://home.wi.rr.com/tatay/cartoons/gossy1.html
And David Lynch took a huge leak on my favorite book.
by MCab on Jun 4, 2008 12:59 PM EDT reply actions
http://thewareaglereader.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/patton.jpg
You might bring the bomb, Colonel Tibbets, but my buddy George S. Patton says ‘War Eagle!’ when he rides to battle, kicks butt and pisses in the Rhine.
Classic difference between a air campaign and a solid ground game.
by Sullivan on Jun 4, 2008 1:12 PM EDT reply actions
Sullivan – that may be so, but I’ve never seen, even a well executed chop block, take out 140,000 people in one fell swoop.
by Out of Conference on Jun 4, 2008 2:14 PM EDT reply actions
The Enola Gay was built in Nebraska. Win.
The building it was built in is part of Offutt AFB, where the United States Strategic Command is located. USSTRATCOM controls targeting all the nuke-you-lur weapons. Again, Win.
by Albino Tornado on Jun 4, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions
Lil red said, “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” Then he bounced on his head.
by matt on Jun 4, 2008 4:40 PM EDT reply actions
@24… it’s not the bouncing on the head so much, it’s the fact that somehow Lil’ Red closes faster than Reggie F’n Nelson when he starts running. Jus’ my opinion.
by Flatlander on Jun 4, 2008 11:07 PM EDT reply actions
Matt @ 24 – nice work, sir. I had hoped to get there first, but I salute you.
by DC Trojan on Jun 5, 2008 1:40 AM EDT reply actions
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