2) Dazed and Confused- character of O’Bannion. Bully who won’t go away, who paddles the Big Ten unmercifully only to have paint poured on him by the SEC in a bowl game. We will still “kick your fucking ass right here” though. Dammit,

3) Dazed and Confused- I wish the character of Joey Lauren Adams on Oregon’s cheerleaders. Get them some cutoff jeans shorts and helium voices, stat!

4) Dazed and Confused- character of Mitch- skinny geek who hangs out with the cool kids and dates older women. Only I had weed.

Come to think of it, there’s just a myriad of possibilites for this move, Wooderson, Slater, Adam Goldberg….

It has everything. They’re small, cute, cuddly and if you aren’t careful they’ll crush your superior firepower.

2. DareDevil – should have been awesome, but somehow, . . . it just imploded in an awful, predictable way (USF = Rutgers, DareDevil = Ben Affleck)

3. Mission to Mars – WVU gets billed as pure awesome and starts good but turns out to be totally mundane and uninteresting and anti-climactic.

4. Confidence – It may seem like life has gone to total shit, but in actuality, I’ve actually got that shit under control and running according to plan. Even if that plan is totally on the fly.

2. In keeping with the theme, Empire Strikes Back where a rejuvenated evil empire (FSU) takes its revenge on the young fighters (Florida) and put the dashing, manly hero (Tebow) out of commission in a block of carbonite.

3. For UCF, my mother’s school and my non-BCS rooting interest, Major League: despite incompetent management, the team attains glory by making the BCS.

4. A Beautiful Mind, minus the imaginary people and groundbreaking new theory in economics. I use spreadsheets to do college football stat analysis in my spare time… for fun… *hangs head*

2. Requiem for a Dream: an endlessly downward spiral of failure culmiating in the double ass pounding by USC.

3. Godfather II: Playing the part of Fredo, as always, is Boston College.

4. ,Crossing the Bridge: good natured guy with best intentions misses out on some opportunities due to lack of balls but saves his ass and that of his friends by making wise choices in the end. But with a much better soundtrack.

2. Worst storyline – Something like this after watching the secondary for another year.

3. Storyline for another team. Florida State in Requiem for a Dream.

4. Plotline for my life – Point Break – got into way too much trouble, all for a woman, and she wasn’t worth it. And I shoulda been an EFFF BEEEE EYE agent, but I got high.

2. The second half of “Trainspotting”. After being on a downward slide for a while, the whole thing finallly crashes into bizzare and incredibly depressing surreality. ND football is forced back to rehab.

3. Any Greek tragedy, for USC. Hubris destroyeth all.
“Groundhog Day” for Ohio State so that they get to relive the same inescapable fate over and over and over.

4. A 90’s sitcom. 20-somethings awkwardly encounter real life and crappy jobs in the big city. Sadly, no laugh track for my bad jokes.

2. Michigan’s talent doesn’t gel+constant Herbie references about poorly matched talent+quiet fans+buzzsaw wielding Brutus Buckeye=5-7 (1st half of Hoosiers–4 PASSES!!)

3. Percy Harvin joins the Nation of Islam. Tim Tebow refuses to give him the ball and what becomes known as the 1st Baptist Crusade breaks out in rural Florida.

4. An After School Special about big brother joining the Marine Corps. Anti-climactic and less than Top Gun. I don’t know if the episode happened, but it’s corny enough to be plausible.

Always read before you post.

Ben-Hur. The best thing it works with either Osborne or Pelini as the role of Ben-Hur, with Messala being Pederson. I guess that makes Callahan the horses in the chariot race — or at least, whatever portion of the horses were visible.

2. What is the worst stolen storyline for your team this year?

The Shining. Osborne sees the problem, leaves his vacation/retirement to fix them, shows up in the nick of time to save the day… and catches an axe in the chest as he comes around the corner.

3. If you could wish one storyline on another team…

Brokeback Mountain. I don’t care who’s the butch between Texas and Oklahoma, so long as at least one of them gets pounded in the poopchute. Let Texas Tech be one of their weepy girlfriends as punishment for their OOC.

4. The plotline of your life was stolen from… Waiting for Godot. Surreal and existential with a heavy leavening of nonsensical and meaningless.

2. The eventual late-season collapse. MSU suffers injuries to their offensive line and two QBs on scholarship, leaving a walk-on to play Quarterback. MSU goes 4-8 after starting 4-1, and I wonder if they make any booze stronger than West Virginia Moonshine.

3. DickRod has to pay all $4 million of his buyout. UMs offense looks like Notre Dame’s circa 2007 with no mobile QB to speak of, causing UM to go 5-7, and miss a bowl game for the first time since dinosaurs walked the Earth. UM fans, for the first time since the mid-90’s, look forward to basketball season.

4. Back to School. I’m not Rodney Dangerfield old, but being a 25-year-old trying to pick up a Bachelor’s in Chemical Engineering surrounded by 20-year-olds has had it’s moments. That, and I once pulled off the Triple Lindy in the IM West Outdoor pool. Take that, Les Miles.