WHILE THE CUPDATE IS COOKING...

by Orson on Jun 2, 2008 12:06 PM EDT

Testament to the health of periodically resetting expectations: Tuberville, a genius of sorts.

...the Cupdate is a brawny dish this week, and the math combined with a fierce head cold has gummed up the works. Consider perusing our column at SN where we suggest Jim Tressel manage the unreal expectations of being OSU's head coach by following what we'll call the Tuberville model: beat your rival like a scalded dog, alternate merely good seasons with excellent seasons, and you know, forget the fan-wife's birthday every now and then.

The additional fun from the column is imagining darkside Tressel kicking a whole season into the wood chipper: slobbing out, eating donuts and drinking scotch from squeeze bottles during the game, picking up an arrest for DUI or barfighting, you know...something like Buckeyes Wide Shut.

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will Darth Tressel freeze DickRod Solo in carbonite???

by swampchomp on Jun 2, 2008 12:12 PM EDT reply actions

Coming this Halloween:

Evil Mark Richt, Darth Tressel, and Saban the Souless in…

Great Expectations 2

Hollywood, you are welcome.

by CincySooner on Jun 2, 2008 12:51 PM EDT reply actions

- sounds more like the Neverending Story Part IX.

by Out of Conference on Jun 2, 2008 12:56 PM EDT reply actions

Nick Saban does not have time for that chicken shit Dickensian production. He’s already commited to the lead in The Omen, Part IV, as the grown up Damien.

Premeire is at the Georgia Dome in late August 2008.

by yoyofutbawl on Jun 2, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

Tressel would only do that if Tyrell Pryor went the way of Maurice Clarett, bat shit crazy and in prison. However Tuberville had to get into Grandma’s old cough medicine to say the Bucks would finish 5th in the SEC. He’s an ass and deserves to be shit on. I hope Saban cleans his clock this year and everyone in the SEC goes 6-6 so they can watch tOSU play Notre Dame for the national championship.

by JoseOle on Jun 2, 2008 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

Nice column, Mr. Hall.

Best description this AU alumnus has ever read on Tuberville.

by gurn on Jun 2, 2008 4:57 PM EDT reply actions

#5, I agree. tOSU could finish no better than 6th in the SEC.

by NewAZTiger on Jun 2, 2008 8:39 PM EDT reply actions

#7, not sure you read that right RE:#5. Last year I think OSU would have been 3rd or 4th in the SEC. Can’t blame them for BCS putting them in the game. Hate the system. Big Ten is down, shit happens. SEC is great but don’t go nuts.

by COB on Jun 2, 2008 10:52 PM EDT reply actions