The official Florida football student t-shirt isn’t here, and it’s because you haven’t made it yet, you inconsiderate twat. Florida’s soliciting student designs for their football t-shirt, and though our days as a Florida student are far, far past us, we can play dirty tricks and humbly submit the following designs for free.

In case you wonder how things work here at EDSBS, it usually flows like this at Swindle Manor: someone has an idea or steals one, things get way, way too far out of hand, and then someone posts it. (Kind of like the Iraq war, actually, but without all the dead babies and traumatic brain injuries. Okay, well, just minus the dead babies, but the TBI came long, long before we got this far into this mess.)

In this case, we merely sent LSUFreek the words “Dr. Tebow” and the original article. The rest just sort of mutated in his hands. We can’t stop him–we can only hope to point him in the right direction and let him do the rest, dear reader.

Without further ado: the EDSBS submissions for the Florida t-shirt.

1. Dr. Tebow.


2. Created by God.

3. Not Gay If You Call It First.

4. Adamantium 15.

(Unavailable for production to to prohibitively expensive materials cost.)

5. “Brian’s Song.”

Students of Florida, please: steal these and submit them at will. When twenty-thousand blue backs shine up at us in the fall from the top of the student section we have entered with a dead man’s ID, and they all read “Filipino Foreskin Flayer,” we will be able to die a happy and fulfilled man.