Trev strikes back! Trev thinks Notre Dame recovers this year, which along with Phil Steele picking them as one of his most improved teams means you’ll get the floating head of Tom Hammond haunting your dreams with “WAKE UP THE ECHOES” for only the rest of the offseason. If the Floating Head of Tom Hammond haunting your subconscious isn’t enough, perhaps the thought of us having Phil Steele’s 2008 Guide To College Football before you do will make you writhe in sufficient agony.
(Florida? Number one in the SEC East? You’re killing us with high expectations, Phil. More on the goodness tomorrow.)
We present our quick roundup of new starters around then nation who are of great import. Next up: Defensive Tackle Omar Hunter, Florida.
School: University Florida. Non-smoking section. (Hopefully.)
Height: 6′ 2″
Weight: 297. Add in the lineman coefficient of (Sigma/underestimation*e to the power of summer snacking) and his real weight is somewhere between 305 and 973 pounds, to be precise. (Margin of error: 320 pounds.)
Body consistency: Defensive lineman, therefore finely marbled like a nice prime rib.
Pros: large and fast, a 4.9 defensive tackle who can bench 425 and squat 475 coming out of high school. Is described as “a trench worker,” meaning unlike some highly ranked physical specimens coming out of high school, Hunter actually enjoys the leg-snapping scrum line play and seems to have a temperament for mudbog blocking wars. Grippy, as in the kind of defensive lineman who if not making the tackle will at least get his hands on a guy and slow him down for the linebackers. Described as an ideal nose tackle, meaning his primary responsibility will be to take on one or more blockers and make better math for the defenders around him. Good enough grades and test scores to get Notre Dame on his ample tail; he decommitted from them to go to Florida, thus earning a sure comment in the thread below about his lack of character, slow feet, or general unsuitability for D-1 football from a Notre Dame alum. (We wager five comments in or thereabouts.)
No no. No. You don’t understand You can’t make a deal with him. Even if you gave him the money he’d still kill you. He’s a peculiar man. You could even say that he has principles. Principles that transcend money or drugs or anything like that. He’s not like you. He’s not even like me.
We write today on behalf of a major university with a reputation which was created over the years of hard work and academic excellence by those who sought to create it. We saw your advertisement in this article on your Big East conference, and it was no one but our own institution of fine reputation we thought of at once.
The advertisement read:
So you want to be a member of the Big East?
Join the club.
In no manner of impertinence or inconvenience should we wish to trouble you in the least, but our university would very much like to be invited to your club. Our invitation is accepted, and we should like to join this illustrious Big East we have heard so much of in our time, having spent much time readying ourself for this in the Middle Eastern conference which, due to circumstances beyond our control, we feel we must sadly bid farewell to at long last.
So much is to be offered by our university! The high institute of Laser & Plasma, the Al-Kindi Medicine College, and the Ibn Al Rashid Center for Education are a few you have undoubtedly heard discussed by you peers in the various fields. (more…)
Nick Saban is still pissed about the “Nick Saban” rule that bans coaches from visiting up-and-coming seniors in their schools in May. We only hope we are associated so much with the abuse of a rule one day that a counter-rule involving our name is created to prevent us engaging in said behavior. Lord Sauron himself:
“I understand why they did it,” Saban said. “It was because everybody was paranoid about what everybody else is doing. I got turned in all kind of times because I was supposedly doing this and that and I wasn’t doing it. I was just watching practice and evaluating players, which is part of our job.”
The comment comes from the SEC elbow-rub down in Destin this week. Hopefully someone warned the Donut Hole about Phil coming, but we suspect they have the date circled on the calendar.
Nebraska still pines for the mighty fullbacks of yesteryear. The best part about runs like Tom Rathman’s highlight reel below is their immediacy: no lurch from the linebackers, no lineman sweeping out: instead, immediate contact at the line of scrimmage from the biggest nastiest players on the field. The boxing comparison would be having two heavyweights starting the fight with their first punch already cocked and then immediately unloading.
SMQ takes a look at Murrahland and concludes that–huzzah!–you can hope to get back to .500! See, you came from nothing, and now you’re going back to nothing! Always look on the bright side of life!
It’s not relevant, but it’s appropriate, right? In an article on Iowa State players attempting to make it in the NFL in the Iowa State Daily, there’s an odd and incorrectly placed picture…that now that you look at it for a while, well, makes for a pretty good summary of Iowa State football.
Since Seneca Wallace, yes, that sums it up.
An Iowa football retrospective……of their recent arrests. City Boyz Inc, mourn ya till we join ya, lawya.
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
Lake The Posts Northwestern football, which is purple and smarter than you and no thank you would NOT like a ten win season at the cost of academic integrity, thank you very much.
Maize ‘n Brew And still yet another strong, funny, and literate Michigan blogger. Embarrassment of riches over there, really.
MGoBlog The horribly, admirably partisan Kodiak Bear of UM Blogs
We are ready for this Big East.
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