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Around SBN: Penn State Recruiting Roundup Is Set For A Big Junior Day

WE COULD ALSO GIVE THEM JELLY SHOES AND RIBBONS

I say! That schedule is positively brutal!

John Adams from the Knoxville News Sentinel played an important role in the founding of our country, and we thank him for that. (Mad daps to you from us for your refusal to pay bribes to Talleyrand in the XYZ affair; "filth in silk stockings," indeed!) He also moonlights in the afterlife by writing columns on Tennessee football. While we appreciate the statesman's right to do anything he likes in his now two-centuries-long retirement, we humbly suggest he is the one wearing silk stocking in most ladylike fashion, as he's suggesting the SEC change its traditional scheduling because it's "hard."

In UT's dreadful 5-6 season of 2005, you could fill a book with all that went wrong.

One chapter should include the schedule, which included road games at LSU, Florida and Alabama. UT was fortunate to win one of those games.

The SEC is supposed to be tough. It doesn't have to be that tough.

And in that span of impossible scheduling, the SEC has won two BCS titles ("THREE!" says an Auburn fan from a plush bunker in Southern Alabama), reaped the largest profits of any conference in the nation, posted an impressive mark in bowl games, handily held up its end of a fat television partnership with CBS, and launched its own space program. (See: Ohio State, successfully shot into space twice.) Adams' sole rationale for even proposing a changed schedule is that Tennessee hasn't performed well in the 21st century, even though they made the conference title game last year. (?)

Adams clearly is onto something here, since even conservative schedulers like Georgia and Florida are putting babies like, er...Arizona State and Miami back on the schedule? We must respectfully disagree with our founding father here, since the move in the SEC seems to be not toward mitigating the bearish schedules, but diving facefirst into the woodchipper. If you don't make it, the results are swift and gory; but jam the machine up with your well-hardened skull and you'll sail though just fine. Tennessee doesn't need an easier schedule: it needs more Eric Berrys on both sides of the ball, and you know, if you rob a government lab or two, you're sure to find them. (Hint: look under the "Universal Soldier" tab under "Berry, Unstoppable Badass.")

Why does John Adams fear competition? WHY DOES HE HATE AMERICA WHEN HE HELPED BUILD IT?

(PS. Under his plan, Auburn/UGA would cease to be a yearly matchup. See? He does hate America.)

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Tennessee also made it in 2004. It seems to me that his argument is that Tennessee had one bad year — 2005 — and thus everything should change lest the Vols actually go through another downturn.

by cocknfire on May 27, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions  

Tennessee also made it to the CCG in 2001, and would have likely made it to the Rose Bowl if they had won.

by CincySooner on May 27, 2008 10:57 AM EDT reply actions  

Maybe Mr. Adams would be happier plying his trade at the News-Star in Monroe, Louisiana, where not only will his delicate sensibilities never be tested by the brutality of ULM’s conference schedule, he would’ve actually gotten to write a column about the hometown team beating Alabama last year.

by Doug on May 27, 2008 10:57 AM EDT reply actions  

What a wuss.

by Der Schatten on May 27, 2008 10:59 AM EDT reply actions  

While his suggestion is bunk, i would like the see the home/away schedules change so that each year’s home schedule isn’t loaded with either great games or so devoid of good games that you almost regret purchasing season tickets…

by Dave(not that one, the other one) on May 27, 2008 11:02 AM EDT reply actions  

Sweet wounded Jesus, I really thought I had reached the pinnacle of my John Adams loathing YEARS ago. And yet, I’m inspired to new heights of contempt. He and the News-Sentinel deserve each other.

by Holly on May 27, 2008 11:12 AM EDT reply actions  

The Big XII implemented a similar schedule rotation, doing away with the annual Oklahoma-Nebraska matchup – a classic power rivalry comparable to any in the SEC. However, the Big XII North as a whole benefits from the rotation – no team from the division is forced to play Oklahoma and Texas in the same season.

by beast in bama on May 27, 2008 11:17 AM EDT reply actions  

Oops…Kansas has to play Texas and Oklahoma this season – sorry, Jayhawks. The schedule still rotates in groups, though.

by beast in bama on May 27, 2008 11:25 AM EDT reply actions  

and then you get situations where a Kansas ends up not playing either OU or UT.

just quit bitching and win games.

by five on May 27, 2008 11:26 AM EDT reply actions  

Never trust men in powdered wigs.
Never, I say.

by GamecockTony on May 27, 2008 11:34 AM EDT reply actions  

Adams does hate America and Tennessee Football in particulate… he is a total clown and HATED in Knoxville… he doesn’t represent Tennessee fans at all… the hard schedules are what seperates the SEC from everyone else… keep up the good work

by ExpatVol on May 27, 2008 11:39 AM EDT reply actions  

As bad as this idea may be, it’s very hard for me to reject an idea that encourages threesomes.

by Grimey on May 27, 2008 11:45 AM EDT reply actions  

“The Third Saturday in October of Every Second Year With Much Thanks to an Incredibly Asinine, Brain-Fart of an Idea.”

It doesn’t have THAT bad of a ring to it, does it?

With all due respect, and I mean with all due respect…STFU, Mr. Adams.

by Aerobab on May 27, 2008 11:45 AM EDT reply actions  

Mr. Adams is merely renewing his previous efforts at control and ensuring the maintenance of said control with this new version of the Alien and Sedition Act…you see, this is just the first shot over the bow and through incrementalism soon the Tennessee Act will have UT playing in serial MNC’s without need or obligation to play a difficult schedule to earn the right. Kinda like anOSU…wily friggin’ yankee, isn’t he?

by sb on May 27, 2008 11:53 AM EDT reply actions  

Okay, how much did Phil pay him to write that article?

To Davie @ 5 – here at Florida – no one I know minds purchasing season tickets. (I never missed a home game during our 0-10-1 season so I personally look forward to every opportunity to beat opposing teams – no matter how weak or insignificant). Of course, tragically, that is also when I acquired my obsession for Jack Daniels.

by hobeg8r on May 27, 2008 11:54 AM EDT reply actions  

Mr Adams should put on an enormous pair of trousers and practice his opening roar – it might distract people from his efforts to justify his sizable annual spending on socks.

by DC Trojan on May 27, 2008 11:58 AM EDT reply actions  

So everything Steve Spurrier said ever said about Tennessee was true, huh?

Johnny, If the SEC wasn’t that tough, it would be called the Big SouthEast. When you luck out and beat mighty Vanderbilt at home by a single point, AND YET HAVE TEN WINS, crying about the schedule means that you have a man sized hunger for cupcakes.

by Zombie JoePa on May 27, 2008 11:59 AM EDT reply actions  

It’s a natural comment in an environment where the SEC title is worth relatively less and the MNC is worth relatively more.

Wait ’til we get a playoff.

by OhioDawg on May 27, 2008 11:59 AM EDT reply actions  

Okay, how much did Phil pay him to write that article?

I disagree, actually. He’s very fond of attempting to run Fulmer out of town whether it’s warranted or not (and in a year where we’re breaking in a new OC and starting QB I have to go with “not”), and I’m assuming he’s doing this to stir up argument so we can fire back with, “Well, OBVIOUSLY, FULMER’S not going to win the games.” Snivelling little weasel of a man.

by Holly on May 27, 2008 12:01 PM EDT reply actions  

There was a shitty cover band when I was in college called “The XYZ Affair”. I always liked that name but they were awful.

by AllWhoYonder on May 27, 2008 12:02 PM EDT reply actions  

No matter how you slice it, the SEC schedule is going to be tough. Especially right now given the current success of the conference. UF had the toughest schedule in the Nation during their 2 NC seasons (’96 & ’06).

In the words of The Nature Boy: “To be the Man, you have to beat the Man!”

by LL on May 27, 2008 12:03 PM EDT reply actions  

Beast in Bama:

It’s probably not a coincedence that Nebraska’s (and Colorado’s) schedule is balanced against the Big 12 South, with OU/Texas Tech/Baylor or UT/A&M/OkState, whereas the other Northern schools which have historically been underachievers have significantly less balance among the powers of the Big 12 south:

ISU and KU’s rotation: OU/UT/Tech or Baylor/OkState/A&M
Misery and KSU’s rotation: OkState/UT/Baylor or OU/A&M/Tech

by Albino Tornado on May 27, 2008 12:05 PM EDT reply actions  

What a douchebag.
The teams that are winning games aren’t complaining.
If you implement this series of rotations, not only would it wreck the intensity of the many good SEC rivalries, it would also give too many teams the excuse to say "well, they didn’t have to play [SEC powerhouse] this year but we did. We deserve the bowl nod more than they do.
Imagine the uproar if Auburn would have had the stronger of the schedule rotation but still went undefeated, but that same season LSU had the easier of the schedule rotation and didn’t go undefeated. You think if Alabama were in this situation but got passed over for the CCG or a bowl they wouldn’t whine (they would change the shirts to “13” instead of “12 Championships”). You can use any combination of teams, but the interaction with the BCS and other polls would go haywire, since polls rank off of strength of schedule but the Conferences rank solely off conference record. You could end up with two teams playing in a CCG that aren’t even the top-ranked teams (in the polls) in their conference, while the poll-leaders are going to major bowls.

by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on May 27, 2008 12:05 PM EDT reply actions  

The teams that are winning games aren’t complaining.

That’s exactly what makes this so preposterous—Conference championship game and a Jan. 1 bowl game and he brings this weak sauce. UGH.

by Holly on May 27, 2008 12:09 PM EDT reply actions  

He’s a newspaper columnist. Critical thinking is a disfavored skill for him. He’s not here to be correct; his job is to get readers.

And, ummm, to get loans from Dutch bankers. We all can agree he’s done a terrific job there.

by mgoblue on May 27, 2008 12:19 PM EDT reply actions  

Im starting to think Mr Adams is a plant from another program. Someone check to see if Steve Spurrier was on his list of references.

by Muhler on May 27, 2008 1:09 PM EDT reply actions  

HIs cousin Sam makes a pretty good ale though.

by Out of Conference on May 27, 2008 1:32 PM EDT reply actions  

Not happening. It’s a bad idea, but it’s not happening.
I like the way the East West teams are matched though.

by Hang Up & Listen on May 27, 2008 2:22 PM EDT reply actions  

May I suggest a trade. The Lexington Herald -Leader has a supposed journalist by the name of Jerry Tipton. Although he is primarily a basketball writer, he could probably be trained to put his “talents” to work in the fall. We’ll trade you Tipton for Adams. Adams comes to Lexington and writes all his whiney crap about the “nothing sucks like a big orange” and Tipton comes to Knoxville and writes all his whiney crap about the Big Blue. You all love Tipton and we love Adams. Win-win for everybody. Of course he’d probably have to bring his cousin Sam with him to make it even. Nah, we’d probably throw in a few train cars of Maker Mark just to be sure. What say you?

by citiesaregreat on May 27, 2008 2:27 PM EDT reply actions  

“Filth” in silk stockings? Actually, Napoleon’s quip to Talleyrand was “You’re SHIT in silk stockings.”

But, he survived Louis 16, The Terror & Napoleon. He was the Neuheisel of his day.

by yoyofutbawl on May 27, 2008 3:13 PM EDT reply actions  

I wonder if it burns Adams up in the hereafter that George Washington has a YouTube musical homage, but the author of the oldest still-serving constitution goes without such fame.

I wonder what they would have thought of YouTube in general.

Got a wig for his wig, got a brain for his heart…

by Kenny on May 27, 2008 3:28 PM EDT reply actions  

Not to get too nitpicky, but hasn’t there been four BCS national champions from the SEC?

by HotSauce on May 27, 2008 10:21 PM EDT reply actions  

Never mind. I clearly can’t read. LSU education for you.

by HotSauce on May 27, 2008 10:22 PM EDT reply actions  

Tamper with the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry*, and there would be a movement afoot (an unsuccessful one, perhaps, but a movement nonetheless) for UGA and Auburn to secede from the conference, if not from the nation.

Yes, it appears Adams does hate America.

*btw, UGA vs. Auburn started several months before UNC vs. UVA. I’m just sayin’. And when we get a UGA-AU rematch in Atlanta this year or in some future year, we’ll tie the other series in number of games played.

by NCT on May 28, 2008 12:01 AM EDT reply actions  

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