IMAGINARY MASCOTS: TWITCHY THE MARTYR
We had this idea just before a post-lunch nap the other day: “Twitchy, the Martyr.” Then we woke up and found a note we’d written to ourself on a scrap piece of paper: “Twitchy, the Martyr.”
After bouncing around our brain for a few caffeine-addled hours, the meaning became all too clear: Twitchy is an imaginary mascot, the meaning and spirit of something embodied in a cartoonish, anthropomorphic form. Thus, we present to you our first imaginary mascot, Twitchy the Martyr, the mascot for Jihad A&M University. Lovingly by LSUFreek with some degree of homage to Hoodwinked.
Tasteful: Twitchy the Martyr, and his adoring fans. They take the field with a BOOM!
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1
Maize n Brew Dave says:
I think he’d be more appropriate as Will Muschamp’s personal mascot. Boom motherfucker, indeed.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:25 am
2
maskedavenger says:
Oh good, we really could use a pro-Jihad presence on this board. I hope when the Fatwa is declared that the correct Orson Swindle is identified. Then again I don’t spend a significant portion of my day reading his blog so maybe not. BTW, I hope you do not have a road trip planned to Denmark in the near future.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:27 am
3
jebus says:
It would appear Twitchy used to be a righty but dropped a few digits in a previous “celebration”. Nice to see he learned to go to his left.
Also liking the Flava Flav clock so we all know what time it is, Boy.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:30 am
4
Boozy McHound says:
#3:
I think you mean, ‘booooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:37 am
5
ThreenOut says:
Orson,
Screw you and the phrase “a post-lunch nap”
Sincerely,
the dumb ****ers with real jobs.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:01 am
6
DC Trojan says:
When Jihad A&M blows up a play, they really blow up a play.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:10 am
7
mlmintampa says:
The only offensive thing in this picture is that it would make more sense for the gentleman with the camera to be at the 20, not the 40.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
8
Allahver Fist says:
Looking forward to an Ole Miss mascot.
2nd the nap thing.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
9
DC Trojan says:
Threenout @ 5 – For a “real job” that comes with post-prandial siestas, and I think Kanu will back me up on this, two words: federal contractor.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:12 am
10
leNDmeabuck says:
Is that the soccer complex being blown up next door by twitchys brother in arms after chelseas loss yesterday errr this morning.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:22 am
11
Aerobab says:
Hello, my name is Aerobab and I approve of DC Trojan’s Message @ 9.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:23 am
12
leNDmeabuck says:
Scratch that. Reports are just coming in but it seems Charlie Weis went on a rampage after being told there were no pies left. His last known whereabouts- somewhere in the middle-east.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:36 am
13
Bagger Douche says:
That very much appears to be a screenshot from a Nintendo 64 game.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:37 am
14
Der Schatten says:
Anyway RP can hop a pimp-mobile down to Jihad A&M?
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
15
Kenny says:
Alright, who among us would buy Jihad A&M gear?
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:47 am
16
macker says:
One of the best traditions in college football is Jihad A+M’s “exploding of the bonfire, symbolic of the future of our infidel foes” the night before the annual game with University of Jihad.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:56 am
17
Carlinthemarlin says:
^
Those punk asses at Jihad U!
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:59 am
18
obes says:
seriously, fuck the University of Jihad, Jihad A&M all day
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:03 am
19
Ryno says:
Orson, C.A.I.R. is on line 1….should I put them into your voicemail or will you take the call?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:36 am
20
Brian says:
The Jihad U Imams had to change their name to the Hawks after the Bedouin tribes petitioned the Middle East Collegiate Athletic Association, saying it was disparaging to their heritage.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
21
MaconDawg says:
Does this mean we can look forward to guestblogging by Salman Rushdie?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
22
Rob says:
Jihad A&M: Explosive athletes at every position on the field
I bet the games against Baylor University are a real blast too!
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:59 am
23
sonofsamford says:
Fuck Jihad U! They low down…they unclean…And they some heretics.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
24
Chips O'Toole says:
I look forward to Jihad A&M’s rivalry game against the Runnin’ Rabbis of Tel Aviv Tech.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
25
Geaux Irish says:
I just noticed the ladies in the burkas in the stands. Nice touch.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:16 pm
26
Jerkwheat says:
“Middle East Collegiate Athletic Association”
M.E.C.C.A.
Well played sir.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:16 pm
27
Jerkwheat says:
er, MECAA
but the sentiment stands that I can’t read
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
28
needanewname says:
That was…….Wow! Great job, LSUF.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
29
Ludakit says:
LSUF + Orson = pissing flammable streams of comedy gold
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
30
gatorphunk says:
“A+M” stands for “Ammo + Munitions,” right?
I know it sounds redundant, but those are the only two options at J.A.M.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
31
uwfgator says:
i wonder how the jihad a&m pass offense would do against the gator secondary?
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm
32
needanewname says:
Orson:
when can we expect the first interview with the new mascot?
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:41 pm
33
hobeg8r says:
SCHOOL FIGHT SONG
We are the Shiites of Persia
P E R S I A
Where girls are the virgin iest
And boys are jihad – iest
Of any war-torn country our way
Hey!
We are all strong for Muhaaaa- med
Down where the old terrorists pray
Go Muqtada Al-Sadr!
In all kinds of weather,
Well be blown up together
For 40 virgins and P E R S – I – A
Go Shiites!
(Sung to my favorite song)
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
34
2L over the line, sweet jesus says:
i really hope LSUfreek gets paid in some way
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
35
eponymous says:
jihad a&m is a historically pashtun-minority college in a footballcrazy kingdom laden with talent, and yet the band is the only thing worth seeing
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
36
Chips O'Toole says:
I look forward to Jihad A&M’s rivalry game against the T(el Aviv)Tech Red Rabbis.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
37
Xaryn says:
@33 you made me fall out of my chair laughing….
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:18 pm
38
Charles says:
At the coin toss, Jihad A&M always defends the end zone that faces Mecca.
May 24th, 2008 at 6:52 am