IMAGINARY MASCOTS: TWITCHY THE MARTYR
by Orson on May 22, 2008 10:15 AM EDT
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PrintWe had this idea just before a post-lunch nap the other day: "Twitchy, the Martyr." Then we woke up and found a note we'd written to ourself on a scrap piece of paper: "Twitchy, the Martyr."
After bouncing around our brain for a few caffeine-addled hours, the meaning became all too clear: Twitchy is an imaginary mascot, the meaning and spirit of something embodied in a cartoonish, anthropomorphic form. Thus, we present to you our first imaginary mascot, Twitchy the Martyr, the mascot for Jihad A&M University. Lovingly by LSUFreek with some degree of homage to Hoodwinked.
Tasteful: Twitchy the Martyr, and his adoring fans. They take the field with a BOOM!
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I think he’d be more appropriate as Will Muschamp’s personal mascot. Boom motherfucker, indeed.
by Maize n Brew Dave on May 22, 2008 10:25 AM EDT reply actions
Oh good, we really could use a pro-Jihad presence on this board. I hope when the Fatwa is declared that the correct Orson Swindle is identified. Then again I don’t spend a significant portion of my day reading his blog so maybe not. BTW, I hope you do not have a road trip planned to Denmark in the near future.
by maskedavenger on May 22, 2008 10:27 AM EDT reply actions
It would appear Twitchy used to be a righty but dropped a few digits in a previous “celebration”. Nice to see he learned to go to his left.
Also liking the Flava Flav clock so we all know what time it is, Boy.
by jebus on May 22, 2008 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
#3:
I think you mean, ‘booooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’
by Boozy McHound on May 22, 2008 10:37 AM EDT reply actions
Orson,
Screw you and the phrase “a post-lunch nap”
Sincerely,
the dumb ****ers with real jobs.
by ThreenOut on May 22, 2008 11:01 AM EDT reply actions
When Jihad A&M blows up a play, they really blow up a play.
by DC Trojan on May 22, 2008 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
The only offensive thing in this picture is that it would make more sense for the gentleman with the camera to be at the 20, not the 40.
by mlmintampa on May 22, 2008 11:11 AM EDT reply actions
Looking forward to an Ole Miss mascot.
2nd the nap thing.
by Allahver Fist on May 22, 2008 11:11 AM EDT reply actions
Threenout @ 5 – For a “real job” that comes with post-prandial siestas, and I think Kanu will back me up on this, two words: federal contractor.
by DC Trojan on May 22, 2008 11:12 AM EDT reply actions
Is that the soccer complex being blown up next door by twitchys brother in arms after chelseas loss yesterday errr this morning.
by leNDmeabuck on May 22, 2008 11:22 AM EDT reply actions
Hello, my name is Aerobab and I approve of DC Trojan’s Message @ 9.
by Aerobab on May 22, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions
Scratch that. Reports are just coming in but it seems Charlie Weis went on a rampage after being told there were no pies left. His last known whereabouts- somewhere in the middle-east.
by leNDmeabuck on May 22, 2008 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
That very much appears to be a screenshot from a Nintendo 64 game.
by Bagger Douche on May 22, 2008 11:37 AM EDT reply actions
Anyway RP can hop a pimp-mobile down to Jihad A&M?
by Der Schatten on May 22, 2008 11:39 AM EDT reply actions
One of the best traditions in college football is Jihad A+M’s “exploding of the bonfire, symbolic of the future of our infidel foes” the night before the annual game with University of Jihad.
by macker on May 22, 2008 11:56 AM EDT reply actions
seriously, fuck the University of Jihad, Jihad A&M all day
by obes on May 22, 2008 12:03 PM EDT reply actions
Orson, C.A.I.R. is on line 1….should I put them into your voicemail or will you take the call?
by Ryno on May 22, 2008 12:36 PM EDT reply actions
The Jihad U Imams had to change their name to the Hawks after the Bedouin tribes petitioned the Middle East Collegiate Athletic Association, saying it was disparaging to their heritage.
by Brian on May 22, 2008 12:39 PM EDT reply actions
Does this mean we can look forward to guestblogging by Salman Rushdie?
by MaconDawg on May 22, 2008 12:42 PM EDT reply actions
Jihad A&M: Explosive athletes at every position on the field
I bet the games against Baylor University are a real blast too!
by Rob on May 22, 2008 12:59 PM EDT reply actions
Fuck Jihad U! They low down…they unclean…And they some heretics.
by sonofsamford on May 22, 2008 1:04 PM EDT reply actions
I look forward to Jihad A&M’s rivalry game against the Runnin’ Rabbis of Tel Aviv Tech.
by Chips O'Toole on May 22, 2008 1:13 PM EDT reply actions
I just noticed the ladies in the burkas in the stands. Nice touch.
by Geaux Irish on May 22, 2008 1:16 PM EDT reply actions
“Middle East Collegiate Athletic Association”
M.E.C.C.A.
Well played sir.
by Jerkwheat on May 22, 2008 1:16 PM EDT reply actions
er, MECAA
but the sentiment stands that I can’t read
by Jerkwheat on May 22, 2008 1:17 PM EDT reply actions
LSUF + Orson = pissing flammable streams of comedy gold
by Ludakit on May 22, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions
“A+M” stands for “Ammo + Munitions,” right?
I know it sounds redundant, but those are the only two options at J.A.M.
by gatorphunk on May 22, 2008 1:38 PM EDT reply actions
i wonder how the jihad a&m pass offense would do against the gator secondary?
by uwfgator on May 22, 2008 1:40 PM EDT reply actions
Orson:
when can we expect the first interview with the new mascot?
by needanewname on May 22, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
SCHOOL FIGHT SONG
We are the Shiites of Persia
P E R S I A
Where girls are the virgin iest
And boys are jihad – iest
Of any war-torn country our way
Hey!
We are all strong for Muhaaaa- med
Down where the old terrorists pray
Go Muqtada Al-Sadr!
In all kinds of weather,
Well be blown up together
For 40 virgins and P E R S – I – A
Go Shiites!
(Sung to my favorite song)
by hobeg8r on May 22, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
i really hope LSUfreek gets paid in some way
by 2L over the line, sweet jesus on May 22, 2008 2:35 PM EDT reply actions
jihad a&m is a historically pashtun-minority college in a footballcrazy kingdom laden with talent, and yet the band is the only thing worth seeing
by eponymous on May 22, 2008 3:03 PM EDT reply actions
I look forward to Jihad A&M’s rivalry game against the T(el Aviv)Tech Red Rabbis.
by Chips O'Toole on May 22, 2008 3:59 PM EDT reply actions
At the coin toss, Jihad A&M always defends the end zone that faces Mecca.
by Charles on May 24, 2008 7:52 AM EDT reply actions
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