THE BEAR FRIGHTENS US
by Orson on May 19, 2008 12:32 PM EDT
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Something about this particular angle on the UCLA Bruin from Brian Dohn's Bruins blog scares us. What is that expression? Anxiety? Weltschmerz? Shock at just witnessing a car crash? Did someone just throw a surprise party for him, and even bring the special red velvet cake topped with possum innards he likes so much? WHAT IS IT? TELL US YOU MUTE CIPHER, YOU!!!
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Maybe the Sith Lord, Darth Humanitarian just had him frozen in carbonite.
by Out of Conference on May 19, 2008 12:41 PM EDT reply actions
Maybe he just saw the Orgeron and he knows he only has seconds to live.
by Crabapple Buck on May 19, 2008 12:41 PM EDT reply actions
Saw it the other night and felt it creepy. This is as close a pic I can find of the impression it left me. Bad bronze, brah.
by Allahver Fist on May 19, 2008 12:43 PM EDT reply actions
Steven Colbert just shit his pants. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
by Doug on May 19, 2008 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
Because from its facial expression, you can’t tell if it about to kill you or is getting a rectal exam…and you don’t want to be around for either.
by JW on May 19, 2008 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
I was thinking something along the lines of the first time in the prison shower.
by OhioDawg on May 19, 2008 12:53 PM EDT reply actions
He just saw the near future of December, and tUoOS made the title game again.
by poguemahone on May 19, 2008 1:01 PM EDT reply actions
None of the above. He just saw LSUFreek’s “dancin’ Rick” for the first time.
by The underrated Sorola Palmer on May 19, 2008 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
This Bruin believes one needs but two words to solve the riddle:
Prostate exam.
by doctorevil on May 19, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions
He’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living…
by ChemE93 on May 19, 2008 1:39 PM EDT reply actions
That’s the initial reaction to the bear trap he almost jumped over snapping shut on his testicles.
The accompanying sound is Scooby Doo’s, “Huunnhh?”
by Sundawg on May 19, 2008 1:44 PM EDT reply actions
He just saw the Bruins third string quarterback go down in a heap.
by DirkDawggler on May 19, 2008 1:45 PM EDT reply actions
Starting his heartfelt rendition of “Moon River” at his annual rectal exam by Dr. Carroll and Co.*
Sullivan
*Much like Chevy Chase in “Fletch”
by Sullivan on May 19, 2008 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
slick Rick just pulled 4 Aces on his all in bet.
by shovel pass on May 19, 2008 1:56 PM EDT reply actions
He was wathcing a bootleg porn tape featuring Gentle Ben, Grizzly Adams, Winnie the Pooh and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders called “Bear Naked Tejas Poontang”.
by yoyofutbawl on May 19, 2008 2:00 PM EDT reply actions
It’s a warm day in LA. I’m guessing the skirts are out in droves.
by Logan on May 19, 2008 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
His reaction upon learning PJ Brown is still playing in the NBA (mine too).
Either that or the USC cheer squad shed their sweaters all at once.
by Bama93 on May 19, 2008 2:17 PM EDT reply actions
He just got invited to participate in Skylab on Bravo Network show “Workout”
by Ryno on May 19, 2008 2:28 PM EDT reply actions
The fUcla Bruin expression is, in fact, emoting the ecstatic-relief one feels from that dreaded- if not spectacularly quivering rosebud! Either that or . . . .that bear just experienced his first (and only) idiopathic ejaculation?
Which reminds me Orson. . . .wanna hear a good joke? Too bad. Sit back and read li’l tater-
Why does a dog lick his balls?
Nope!
(because he can’t make a fist! picture me doing a “jerk-off” motion)
by tapout on May 19, 2008 2:33 PM EDT reply actions
Singing the last 2 minutes of Bohemian Rhapsody. “Magnificooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!!”
by Vol on May 19, 2008 2:33 PM EDT reply actions
Doc Evil, My thoughts exactly. I think I made that face upon arrival at my doc’s office for my 30th birthday physical. I’m in the lobby hoping the doc is a small asian woman with tiny hands.
Instead I get the 6’3" 230 lb dude with about a size 20 ring.
Same. Exact. Face.
And you know what….he didn’t call me the next day. lol.
by paulwesterdawg on May 19, 2008 2:44 PM EDT reply actions
Moon river!
Late, I know. But I vote for #2, 4 comes in second.
Actually, now, 4 is making me laugh uncontrollably…
“He had a pocket full of horses
fucked the shit out of bears”
Just out of frame is Washington.
by Joshua on May 19, 2008 3:09 PM EDT reply actions
As a serious take on why the bear statue looks weird: the muzzle is too short, which makes it almost appear to be some sort of bear-human mutant. And bears are not too far away from humans on the evolutionary scale to begin with. I went black bear hunting a few times with my dad in my youth, and the similarities in behavior and structure (particularly a skinned bear) between the ursine family and humans are kinda creepy. No more Pooh hunting for me, it was boring anyway!
by Grenado on May 19, 2008 3:45 PM EDT reply actions
This is probably the look right as Ben Linus put him through The Orchid…oh, like they didn’t experiment with grizzlys as well as polar bears…
What? It’s not my fault ABC’s delaying the Lost finale by a week…us Losties need something to fill the gap and it’s the only thing that’s gotten me through the hiatus of football so far. Now no Lost OR football…summer’s gonna suuuuuuck…
by the croominator on May 19, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions
Dan Haggerty’s behind this bear. Poor bear.
by The Duke of Wazzu on May 19, 2008 11:37 PM EDT reply actions
It’s the lesser known singing bear of Brentwood. Let’s listen…
“Cuz everytime you come to me
it’s time for us to boom boom
You keep coming close to me
and feel the burning fire
all the time you come to me
it’s time for us to boom boom
can’t you see the spark in me
and feel my strong desire"
A bear in more ways than one, apparently. That bear’s got menergy!
by DC Trojan on May 20, 2008 12:11 AM EDT reply actions
He’s that masturbating bear from Conan O’Brien
by SpookyJuice on May 20, 2008 3:20 AM EDT reply actions
yarrrrrgh….why it’s obvious the poor bear has been told that Notre Dame will have a 9-3 season next year
little cubbie doesn’t know whether to shit or go insane
by Pirate Petey on May 20, 2008 7:06 AM EDT reply actions
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