Joe Paterno is feeling much, much better after last week’s stay in the hospital for dehydration. Paterno also uses one of the essential tools of any humor Leatherman: gallows humor.

Before the dinner, Paterno cracked jokes with reporters about how his age makes people worry every time he feels the slightest bit ill.

“Yesterday I didn’t think this event was getting enough press. I decided to go to the hospital and see if I could spruce it up a bit,” Paterno said. “I feel good.”

He even walked out of the hospital under his own power. Be healed, JoePa!

Charming. It’s got to feel good to be Jimbo Fisher: obviously the heir apparent at Florida State, offensive coordinator of an attack still recovering from years of mismanagement, and slogging through a time in the program when everything isn’t exactly up to his specs, he’s also got to put up with this:

What is the dynamic like between you and Jimbo?

I have to run him out of my chair every now and then.

Take that, boah! He done showed you for bein’ younger!

Every day he hustlin’, except for those days when he’s arrested for hustlin’. Virginia Tech recruit Peter Rose gets arrested for selling marijuana, including the nasty charge of selling weed within 1000 feet of a school. Rose is not on the team, and no Fulmer Cup points will be assessed for his arrest. He will, however, be punished for his selling of a drug that makes people sit on the couch and support the economy by ordering more pizzas and PPV movies. We’ll sleep safer knowing he’s off the street.

Kai Maiava is transferring to UCLA, where he will not be moved to fullback after making Freshman All-American on the offensive line. (Dan Hawkins, what the hell, brocephus?)

And because we were in D.C. this weekend…we wore this exact outfit Chuck E. Brown is wearing in this video for “Bustin’ Loose.” It looked hott.