Washington has rewritten the rules for expectations this year. First is for losers: being zeroth is the new ambition Everest. (Click for larger image.)

Just try and divide by the Huskies ranking, bitch. We dare you.

We think they’re signalling “Pass” on 3rd and 28. Or a draw. The NCAA is stealing signs from the NFL and creating a clause to prohibit the filming of sidelines to steal signals. The aim is to head off Urban Meyer teams attempting to foist a Spygate on the college game, a funny thought given half the teams in college football run offenses where you already know what’s coming. (Navy: “It’s the option.” Texas Tech: “Um, pass? Or draw?”)

The rule reads:

Rule 1-4-9-g: states “Any attempt to record, either through audio or video means, any signals given by an opposing player, coach or other team personnel is prohibited.”

THIS WILL BE A DISASTER um…sorry. We’re just used to doing that whenever we see rule (3 numbers and letter) coming out of an NCAA press release. It actually only looks like bad news for one coach, and he’s implicated in Spygate already. (If Notre Dame knew Weis’ teams did as bad a job as they did in the NFL with some of the opponent’s signals in hand, would they have even sniffed at him?)

Tebow? Berry. Tebow? Berry. Joel has a counter for our Mr. Tebow Tebow Tebow: Eric Berry Berry, the Tennessee defensive back and not the nutritional disease.

O-H! H-O? They’re not the only ones to get confused in a lineup spelling of their alma mater.

Finally, to prepare for a weekend of debauchery with close friends, watch this video for proper instructions on just how to properly fuck with them when they wake up after a long night of drinking.