CURIOUS INDEX, 5/16/08
by Orson on May 16, 2008 9:23 AM EDT
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Washington has rewritten the rules for expectations this year. First is for losers: being zeroth is the new ambition Everest. (Click for larger image.)
Just try and divide by the Huskies ranking, bitch. We dare you. We think they're signalling "Pass" on 3rd and 28. Or a draw. The NCAA is stealing signs from the NFL and creating a clause to prohibit the filming of sidelines to steal signals. The aim is to head off Urban Meyer teams attempting to foist a Spygate on the college game, a funny thought given half the teams in college football run offenses where you already know what's coming. (Navy: "It's the option." Texas Tech: "Um, pass? Or draw?") The rule reads: Rule 1-4-9-g: states "Any attempt to record, either through audio or video means, any signals given by an opposing player, coach or other team personnel is prohibited." THIS WILL BE A DISASTER um...sorry. We're just used to doing that whenever we see rule (3 numbers and letter) coming out of an NCAA press release. It actually only looks like bad news for one coach, and he's implicated in Spygate already. (If Notre Dame knew Weis' teams did as bad a job as they did in the NFL with some of the opponent's signals in hand, would they have even sniffed at him?) Tebow? Berry. Tebow? Berry. Joel has a counter for our Mr. Tebow Tebow Tebow: Eric Berry Berry, the Tennessee defensive back and not the nutritional disease. O-H! H-O? They're not the only ones to get confused in a lineup spelling of their alma mater. Finally, to prepare for a weekend of debauchery with close friends, watch this video for proper instructions on just how to properly fuck with them when they wake up after a long night of drinking.
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I was pelasantly surprised that of all of the Tebow highlights, none were against SC (looked like all against FSU), but then crushed when most of Berry’s highlights were against us… damn it to hell.
by Out of Conference on May 16, 2008 9:39 AM EDT reply actions
The Utes are also ranked “0”. Understandable on both counts.
by hunglikehussain on May 16, 2008 9:43 AM EDT reply actions
The fucking with drunk friends is wonderfully rube goldbergian to the extreme…the powdered chick looks especially nice in white and green…
by sb on May 16, 2008 9:56 AM EDT reply actions
You seriously didn’t fall for such a blatant photoshop on the “Abuurn” thing, did you? You should run these by LSUFreek first.
Loved the dividing by zero poster, though. So is that gentleman guarding the singularity or floating towards the singularity?
by ChemE93 on May 16, 2008 9:56 AM EDT reply actions
Wow, that grilled Ahi at “Coconuts on the Beach” looks yummy. I wonder if they deliver?
Playing 2 teams ranked zero certainly hurts your strength of schedule ranking. Looking at the rest of the Stormin’ Mormons schedule, does it matter? Hawaii 2008?
by hunglikehussain on May 16, 2008 10:04 AM EDT reply actions
by hunglikehussain on May 16, 2008 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
Considering the inordinate amount of time Mr. Berry and the rest of the Teenneessee D will spend on the field this fall, chances are he’ll add to that highlight reel.
by NativeSon on May 16, 2008 10:32 AM EDT reply actions
NativeSon, elitism is not becoming. Anyway, you are underestimating our offense this year.
by Vol on May 16, 2008 10:45 AM EDT reply actions
ChemE93 not sure that’s photoshop so much as friends moving around before a picture, that thing has been around for quite a few years.
by Jonathan on May 16, 2008 10:56 AM EDT reply actions
@11 tater salad
Since we have already discussed economic theory, contractual law and algebraic absurdities, why not obscure nomadic North American natives……. Or the University of Utah mascot.
How much longer? This off-season is driving me nuts!
by hunglikehussain on May 16, 2008 11:00 AM EDT reply actions
My Cousin Vinny? What is a ute (youth)? No? Anybody?
by Tater Salad on May 16, 2008 11:21 AM EDT reply actions
I got it tater. I’m still trying to figure just where the hell Beechum County is in the state of Alabama.
by stoned immaculate on May 16, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions
My cousin Vinny….Hmmmm
Google::Images::Marisa Tomei
No Costanza “shrinkage” here.
Bunda worthy?
by hunglikehussain on May 16, 2008 11:57 AM EDT reply actions
Dude, I’ve been to a beach party that ended up like that, kinda like “Jonestown—The Day After” when your passed out on the beach in a beach lounger w/ some random chick, and you have to literally step over bodies when going back into the house and find someone wrapped up in the shower curtain, one of your friends dates, in your bed, because they were cold and there were no towels, also with an empty bottle of Tussin, and some other chick is passed out in the tub……and of course I am running late to work………Ah, to be 19 again………
by Mr. Pelican Pants on May 16, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
Dave Chappelle, of course, had something to say about the phenomena, which that last video elevated to the torture porn of the “Saw” films:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PWK-4_MrSY
Fuck carrots.
by Seven Years in Gainesville on May 16, 2008 12:53 PM EDT reply actions
@21
While we are sharing stories…..I once took an afternoon “nap” at the beach. My friends got creative with a pair of scissors and some natty light cardboard.
Do you know how hard it is to meet girls with a large white penis outlined on your chest? Assholes.
by hunglikehussain on May 16, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
@3, I was saying Aw-boo-urns…
by The Freewheelin' Charles Woodson on May 16, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Y’know, we only had one 3-9 season. We had two straight BCS appearence before that (yes I know we lost, but still).
The way everyone talks about ND these days, you’d think that we had lost to Duke and Columbia or something.
by wooderson on May 16, 2008 2:12 PM EDT reply actions
Jonathan — I know that pic’s been around for awhile, but it’s clearly a photoshop. A funny gag nontheless (I’ve seen a similar one with bama fans spelling out “alabalama”), but still a fake. (Unless the person that painted the mis-positioned letters had Parkinsons.)
P.S. To wooderson @ 25: Not winning a bowl game in over a decade has a lot to do with it, too. Getting into a BCS game isn’t anything to brag about at ND given the favoritism they get in the selection process.
by ChemE93 on May 16, 2008 2:49 PM EDT reply actions
Gawddamn, that video was hysterical. I’m just thinking of the sheer terror of those poor fools as trying harder to fix the situation only makes things worse. Thsoe poor bastards on the elevated coach probably had to be institutionalized.
by Harris on May 16, 2008 2:55 PM EDT reply actions
Harris @ 27: The video was funny, but it was a music video with actors, not a candid shot so nobody was really drunk and passed out.
Wooderson @ 25: And what is the best team that Notre Dame has managed to actually beat in the Weis era? Nobody gets much credit for beating a bunch of chumps and then losing a bowl game (just ask tOSU last year).
by oc phil on May 16, 2008 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
Ahh yeh drunk chicks
by Dr Everythingll Be Alright,Shrink in Beverly Hills on May 16, 2008 7:21 PM EDT reply actions
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