AMPHIBIAN LADIES: FRIDAY CHEESECAKE
Listen, and simmer down. You’re getting funny ladies this Friday because there’s nothing sexier in the world than a funny lady, especially one who’s obviously compensating for all the pain life’s dealt her by making people laugh. It means they will likely crave your approval, a passable non-retarded conversation from your side, and after two drinks will probably sleep with you. If you’re funny for the same reason: twice the fun!
Plus, we just wanted to do something special for all the ladies of the world.
Click for cheesecake below. It sucks! WAAAAAAH!!!
Madeline Kahn. Mel Brooks cast her in Blazing Saddles only after asking to see her legs at the audition. They tipped her into the lead for the role. If you don’t find the Marlene Dietrich getup and huge synth muff worn in the “I’m So Tired” scene confusing, funny, and attractive all at once, we don’t even know you are anymore.
Sarah Silverman.
She has sex with Jimmy Kimmel, farts a lot, and makes racist jokes. So does Adam Carolla, but he doesn’t look like this when he takes down his pants in a gorilla suit:
Tina.
Pin-up fashion sense. Created 30 Rock. Enslaves dorks on sight. Mysterious scar. We’re in.
Amy Sedaris. Has taken a thousand photos of herself in horrible makeup and surrounded by atrocious home crafts…and still manages to look hot. If that’s not talent, nothing is. Additional bonus: has a stunning pair of natural tits.
Enjoy your weekend. THIS SUCKED! WAAAAAHHHHHHh
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1
D'jango says:
I believe Tina Fey’s scar was caused by a tractor.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
2
Vol says:
I had no idea Silverman had a perfect ass. I bet the other side looks like Don King in a headlock though. Anyhoo…no complaints here!
May 16th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
3
DC Trojan says:
Oh It’s twoo! It’s twoo! It’s twoo it’s twoo!
May 16th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
4
Doug says:
If it has Tina Fey in it, then by definition it does not suck. I salute you, sir.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
5
Maize n Brew Dave says:
#1 – Jerry’s girlfriend got gonorrhea from a tractor.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
6
sjs1959 says:
I’d hit them all.
And then die of a heart attack.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
7
VandyJ says:
My wife knows that if Tina Fey shows up at the door for any reason, she will have to become a lot more broad-minded on the topic of polygamy. (I know she’s not up for threesomes because she said she’d push me in front of a train to get at Jimmy Fallon, which implies a lack of enthusiams for multiple partners…)
May 16th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
8
John says:
Amy Poehler should be added.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
9
The Conscience of a Nation says:
That’s what I said, John! I don’t know what Orson was thinking leaving her out.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
10
Holly says:
WE DON’T WANT TO FIND OUR OWN NAKED LADIES ON THE INTERNET IT’S HARD WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE BIG BUTTED LATINA CHICKS THIS SUCKS YOU SUCK
May 16th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
11
NRBQ says:
Were they singing about the hot girls of Presbyteria?
Um, not so much.
May 16th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
12
WarCardinals says:
Amy Poehler? Not so much…
May 16th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
13
Stacy Keibler Luvs me says:
Ughhhhhh….Dept:
Hate to be ‘that guy’ this Friday, but these ladies suck (and I do not mean it in the good sense).
- Sarah Silverman? bowser-jay-bowser-city. Would not hit that at all. that face…ughhhhhh….
- Tina Fey? middle-aged cuteness, like your nice aunt, but that is it, no “it” factor.
- Madeline Kahn? bow-wow-wow…for grandpa!
EARTH TO STRANKO -> WAKE UP MAN, and take over Friday duties!
This is not Cheesecake, more like moldy rice-cakes.
(have a good weekend)
May 16th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
14
Orson Swindle says:
Oh, just wait ’til next Friday. It will be EVEN HOTTER. I promise.
May 16th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
15
NRBQ says:
This place sure slows down when the Group-5ers knock off work.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
16
poguemahone says:
Marisa Miller was just named world’s hottest woman and we get this?
Rage. Island Rhythms. Back to useless Polysci paper (is there any other kind?)
May 16th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
17
sjs1959 says:
SKLM, you lack subtlety, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
+1 on Poehler, and here’s my question:
Why isn’t Holly shown with the cheesecake? It’s not like we haven’t seen her rack already, which is why I ask.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
18
Holly says:
After seeing y’all trash actual hot women week after week? Fuck and no.
May 16th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
19
Jeff says:
I think the cheesecake would have been a lot better if the maize and blue color scheme were still around.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
20
Toasty McBuns says:
Speaking of “Ladies of the World,” Just saw FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS tonite here in C-bus, OH.
They were mutha uckin’ awesome!
May 16th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
21
Bama93 says:
I hate Silverman. Can you imagine having to date that sog? Here’s what’s missin….
http://www.bomboncitomagazine.com/bomdelmes.php
May 16th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
22
RotoJeff says:
How about a little more love for the FOTC video? Can’t wait for Season 2.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:33 am
23
Pompano Pete says:
What next, Marie Osmond?
May 17th, 2008 at 8:22 am
24
hunglikehussain says:
@20 Bama93
Excelente, Senor. Muchas gracias!
May 17th, 2008 at 8:58 am
25
Raider Red says:
Good thing you have a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
May 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
26
Bagger Douche says:
“there’s nothing sexier in the world than a funny lady, especially one who’s obviously compensating for all the pain life’s dealt her by making people laugh. It means they will likely crave your approval, a passable non-retarded conversation from your side, and after two drinks will probably sleep with you.”
So, are you saying that Holly is funny, or are you saying that Holly thinks she’s funny?
May 17th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
27
hunglikehussain says:
@18
Holly, let’s compromise. Just show us one and we’ll imagine the other.
May 18th, 2008 at 11:00 am
28
Holly says:
So, are you saying that Holly is funny, or are you saying that Holly thinks she’s funny?
Neither is true. Carry on!
May 18th, 2008 at 11:39 am
29
Dr Everything’ll Be Alright,Shrink in Beverly Hills says:
For some reason when I see this video or hear this song, I imagine Tina Fey running down the beach…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcHB060NKYo
May 18th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
30
Bagger Douche says:
Dangit, Ms. H. I was trolling for an anger-boiled witty comeback – my favorite form of Holly Funny. Carry on!
May 18th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
31
Holly says:
This is why I love EDSBS. (Asshole.)
(How’s that?)
May 18th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
32
Because They Can says:
Write-in votes for Jaime Pressly and Parker Posey.
May 19th, 2008 at 6:15 am
33
Pirate Petey says:
arrghhhh…. funny girlies that are cute are hard to come by… but me personal fav might be Maya Rudolph… she’s a sassy wench that one with a mighty fine aft section
May 19th, 2008 at 9:00 am
34
Joshua says:
Holly, has to be funny to qualify.
Zing! Heyooooooo. Just kidding. But H, still sore over the beating you took the time you were in charge I see.
But seriously folks,
Tina Fey, neither funny nor fine.
Kahn, old but in her heydey, yes please. Great comedic actress.
Sedaris, yep.
Silverman, like Fey doesn’t qualify for this since she’s not funny. But she’s kinda cute.
I agree with the votes for Posey and Pressly, but they are more actresses. Shit, they’re more qualified than Fey though. I’d like to thank everyone for not bringing up K. Griffin and M. Cho. Nice to see we have some standards.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:38 am
35
CockofAges says:
What? No Carol Channing? Heresy!
And let’s please stop this “Tina Fey is hawt” garbage. She is a deformed skag with a semi-passable daytime talk show makeover, and it’s arguable how “funny” she is. I wouldn’t bang her with a dingus I found on the floor at Denny’s.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:38 am