AMPHIBIAN LADIES: FRIDAY CHEESECAKE

by Orson on May 16, 2008 4:27 PM EDT

Listen, and simmer down. You're getting funny ladies this Friday because there's nothing sexier in the world than a funny lady, especially one who's obviously compensating for all the pain life's dealt her by making people laugh. It means they will likely crave your approval, a passable non-retarded conversation from your side, and after two drinks will probably sleep with you. If you're funny for the same reason: twice the fun!

Plus, we just wanted to do something special for all the ladies of the world.

Click for cheesecake below. It sucks! WAAAAAAH!!!

Madeline Kahn. Mel Brooks cast her in Blazing Saddles only after asking to see her legs at the audition. They tipped her into the lead for the role. If you don't find the Marlene Dietrich getup and huge synth muff worn in the "I'm So Tired" scene confusing, funny, and attractive all at once, we don't even know you are anymore.

Sarah Silverman.

She has sex with Jimmy Kimmel, farts a lot, and makes racist jokes. So does Adam Carolla, but he doesn't look like this when he takes down his pants in a gorilla suit:

Tina.

Pin-up fashion sense. Created 30 Rock. Enslaves dorks on sight. Mysterious scar. We're in.

Amy Sedaris. Has taken a thousand photos of herself in horrible makeup and surrounded by atrocious home crafts...and still manages to look hot. If that's not talent, nothing is. Additional bonus: has a stunning pair of natural tits.

Enjoy your weekend. THIS SUCKED! WAAAAAHHHHHHh

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Comments

I believe Tina Fey’s scar was caused by a tractor.

by D'jango on May 16, 2008 4:36 PM EDT reply actions

I had no idea Silverman had a perfect ass. I bet the other side looks like Don King in a headlock though. Anyhoo…no complaints here!

by Vol on May 16, 2008 4:45 PM EDT reply actions

Oh It’s twoo! It’s twoo! It’s twoo it’s twoo!

by DC Trojan on May 16, 2008 5:01 PM EDT reply actions

If it has Tina Fey in it, then by definition it does not suck. I salute you, sir.

by Doug on May 16, 2008 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

- Jerry’s girlfriend got gonorrhea from a tractor.

by Maize n Brew Dave on May 16, 2008 5:12 PM EDT reply actions

I’d hit them all.

And then die of a heart attack.

by sjs1959 on May 16, 2008 5:22 PM EDT reply actions

My wife knows that if Tina Fey shows up at the door for any reason, she will have to become a lot more broad-minded on the topic of polygamy. (I know she’s not up for threesomes because she said she’d push me in front of a train to get at Jimmy Fallon, which implies a lack of enthusiams for multiple partners…)

by VandyJ on May 16, 2008 5:38 PM EDT reply actions

Amy Poehler should be added.

by John on May 16, 2008 5:39 PM EDT reply actions

That’s what I said, John! I don’t know what Orson was thinking leaving her out.

by The Conscience of a Nation on May 16, 2008 5:49 PM EDT reply actions

WE DON’T WANT TO FIND OUR OWN NAKED LADIES ON THE INTERNET IT’S HARD WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE BIG BUTTED LATINA CHICKS THIS SUCKS YOU SUCK

by Holly on May 16, 2008 6:00 PM EDT reply actions

Were they singing about the hot girls of Presbyteria?

Um, not so much.

by NRBQ on May 16, 2008 6:27 PM EDT reply actions

Amy Poehler? Not so much…

by WarCardinals on May 16, 2008 6:35 PM EDT reply actions

Ughhhhhh….Dept:

Hate to be ‘that guy’ this Friday, but these ladies suck (and I do not mean it in the good sense).

- Sarah Silverman? bowser-jay-bowser-city. Would not hit that at all. that face…ughhhhhh….

- Tina Fey? middle-aged cuteness, like your nice aunt, but that is it, no “it” factor.

- Madeline Kahn? bow-wow-wow…for grandpa!

EARTH TO STRANKO -> WAKE UP MAN, and take over Friday duties!

This is not Cheesecake, more like moldy rice-cakes.

(have a good weekend)

by Stacy Keibler Luvs me on May 16, 2008 6:40 PM EDT reply actions

Oh, just wait ’til next Friday. It will be EVEN HOTTER. I promise.

by Orson Swindle on May 16, 2008 6:59 PM EDT reply actions

This place sure slows down when the Group-5ers knock off work.

by NRBQ on May 16, 2008 7:03 PM EDT reply actions

Marisa Miller was just named world’s hottest woman and we get this?

Rage. Island Rhythms. Back to useless Polysci paper (is there any other kind?)

by poguemahone on May 16, 2008 7:08 PM EDT reply actions

SKLM, you lack subtlety, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

+1 on Poehler, and here’s my question:

Why isn’t Holly shown with the cheesecake? It’s not like we haven’t seen her rack already, which is why I ask.

by sjs1959 on May 16, 2008 7:25 PM EDT reply actions

After seeing y’all trash actual hot women week after week? Fuck and no.

by Holly on May 16, 2008 9:25 PM EDT reply actions

I think the cheesecake would have been a lot better if the maize and blue color scheme were still around.

by Jeff on May 16, 2008 11:39 PM EDT reply actions

Speaking of “Ladies of the World,” Just saw FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS tonite here in C-bus, OH.
They were mutha uckin’ awesome!

by Toasty McBuns on May 17, 2008 12:01 AM EDT reply actions

I hate Silverman. Can you imagine having to date that sog? Here’s what’s missin….

http://www.bomboncitomagazine.com/bomdelmes.php

by Bama93 on May 17, 2008 12:12 AM EDT reply actions

How about a little more love for the FOTC video? Can’t wait for Season 2.

by RotoJeff on May 17, 2008 1:33 AM EDT reply actions

What next, Marie Osmond?

by Pompano Pete on May 17, 2008 9:22 AM EDT reply actions

@20 Bama93

Excelente, Senor. Muchas gracias!

by hunglikehussain on May 17, 2008 9:58 AM EDT reply actions

Good thing you have a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.

by Raider Red on May 17, 2008 4:53 PM EDT reply actions

“theres nothing sexier in the world than a funny lady, especially one whos obviously compensating for all the pain lifes dealt her by making people laugh. It means they will likely crave your approval, a passable non-retarded conversation from your side, and after two drinks will probably sleep with you.”

So, are you saying that Holly is funny, or are you saying that Holly thinks she’s funny?

by Bagger Douche on May 17, 2008 7:35 PM EDT reply actions

@18

Holly, let’s compromise. Just show us one and we’ll imagine the other.

by hunglikehussain on May 18, 2008 12:00 PM EDT reply actions

So, are you saying that Holly is funny, or are you saying that Holly thinks shes funny?

Neither is true. Carry on!

by Holly on May 18, 2008 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

For some reason when I see this video or hear this song, I imagine Tina Fey running down the beach…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcHB060NKYo

by Dr Everythingll Be Alright,Shrink in Beverly Hills on May 18, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions

Dangit, Ms. H. I was trolling for an anger-boiled witty comeback – my favorite form of Holly Funny. Carry on!

by Bagger Douche on May 18, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

This is why I love EDSBS. (Asshole.)

(How’s that?)

by Holly on May 18, 2008 9:52 PM EDT reply actions

Write-in votes for Jaime Pressly and Parker Posey.

by Because They Can on May 19, 2008 7:15 AM EDT reply actions

arrghhhh…. funny girlies that are cute are hard to come by… but me personal fav might be Maya Rudolph… she’s a sassy wench that one with a mighty fine aft section

by Pirate Petey on May 19, 2008 10:00 AM EDT reply actions

Holly, has to be funny to qualify.

Zing! Heyooooooo. Just kidding. But H, still sore over the beating you took the time you were in charge I see.

But seriously folks,
Tina Fey, neither funny nor fine.

Kahn, old but in her heydey, yes please. Great comedic actress.

Sedaris, yep.

Silverman, like Fey doesn’t qualify for this since she’s not funny. But she’s kinda cute.

I agree with the votes for Posey and Pressly, but they are more actresses. Shit, they’re more qualified than Fey though. I’d like to thank everyone for not bringing up K. Griffin and M. Cho. Nice to see we have some standards.

by Joshua on May 19, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

What? No Carol Channing? Heresy!

And let’s please stop this “Tina Fey is hawt” garbage. She is a deformed skag with a semi-passable daytime talk show makeover, and it’s arguable how “funny” she is. I wouldn’t bang her with a dingus I found on the floor at Denny’s.

by CockofAges on May 19, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions