THERE IS NO SPOON, AND HE DOESN'T NEED ONE
by Orson on May 13, 2008 10:53 AM EDT
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PrintWe woke up at 3:00 a.m. this morning to finish a freelance piece. When you hear the quiet tone of an email bing! into your box at that hour, it is your good friend Xi Shuang Bo, who has helpfully sent you an attachment you should open without questioning or scanning from an anonymous server somewhere in Central Asia, or it is Google Alerts tossing five year old articles about Dennis Franchione at you. ("Franchione: 'With McNeal, We Can't Lose.'")
So when, at 6:12 a.m., we heard a ding!, and would have ignored it had our spidey sense not been tingling. We were right; who else is awake at 6 in the morning thinking delusional thoughts of college football and hitting that Tuss early and often?
LSUFreek, of course. That's who else is awake at that hour and cranking away.
As a semi-relevant bit of reader mail to tag to this, Dave writes in and notes:
I was looking over some stats today, and I noticed that UCLA punted for about 1,000 more yards last season (3,899) than Notre Dame racked up in total offense the whole year (2,907).
That does about sum it up, Dave. As we speak Charlie's pondering tweaks as he walks among the endless aisles of virtual pie.
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As awesome as this is, anyone thinking about Charlie Weis at 6 AM is disturbing.
by Scalz1 on May 13, 2008 11:00 AM EDT reply actions
That’s hard to take my eyes off of. Besides, I do like pie.
by Snowflake the Dog on May 13, 2008 11:04 AM EDT reply actions
good to know another freelance drone was up at 3 a.m. cranking out the copy.
by kleph on May 13, 2008 11:05 AM EDT reply actions
3,000 of those punt yards came against Notre Dame.
by D'Jango on May 13, 2008 11:07 AM EDT reply actions
I sure as hell hope that you have a rule set up with your email provider that when you get mail from LSUFreek, your paypal account communicates some coin to his paypal account. That’s good work, as always, LSUFreek!
by Out of Conference on May 13, 2008 11:09 AM EDT reply actions
Love how Weiss seems to be expecting more.
by sonofsamford on May 13, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
Those pies look like they have a decided schematic advantage.
by Scalz1 on May 13, 2008 12:11 PM EDT reply actions
Those look like thug pies. Weis doesn’t eat thug pies. If he did then he would win.
by ThreenOut on May 13, 2008 12:33 PM EDT reply actions
Threenout @ #12…and right now.
Amazing that Chaz doesn’t realize he is a living caricature…and if you told him he wouldn’t believe you…
LSUfreek…nice touch with the wind-blown hair.
by sb on May 13, 2008 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
So, did Charlie pick the Red Pie, or the Blue Pie?
Knowing Charlie, he probaly ate both of them before Morpheus had a chance to finish what he was saying, " If you take the Red Pie, you…….holy shit!"!
nearly drawing back 2 nubs since when I picture Charlie Weiss going into a feeeding frenzy, it is like a human Great White shark crossed with Pennywise the Clowns teeth……big sharp teeth come out, eyes turn black god forbids if there is the scent of sugar in the air ……
by Mr Pelican Pants on May 13, 2008 1:14 PM EDT reply actions
Charlie, don’t worry. Nobody makes that jump on the 1st try.
by Allahver Fist on May 13, 2008 1:26 PM EDT reply actions
Charlie ate the whole damn pie rack, you better believe it. While he was working hard eating pie, Florida was sitting at home eating cheeseburgers…or getting shot…or using dead people’s gas cards…etc etc etc….
by Derk on May 13, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
Other schools may have an advantage with the quality of pies they have to offer. Or the discipline they can maintain while biting into luscious pie, be it apple, cherry or boisenberry. But Charlie Weis can eat more pie than the entire cast of Where the Boys Arent 16. So lets see who has the pie advantage now.
by Dave on May 13, 2008 3:35 PM EDT reply actions
Charlie and Notre Dame despite that stat still beat UCLA. Sucks to be them!
by F-bomb on May 13, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
The answer is out there, Charlie, and it’s looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.
by NativeSon on May 13, 2008 3:41 PM EDT reply actions
Ahhh, yes. Weis is fat. When one of your players is arrested for using a dead girl’s credit card, it always makes you feel better about your loathesome “program” to think of that fat coach in Indiana.
by shelley meyer's cottage cheese ass on May 13, 2008 10:51 PM EDT reply actions
shelley @ #22…are us non-ND faithful getting under your skin? Feeling a little like throwing mud? Gettin’ a little hot that not everyone buys into the ‘glory that is ND’ and other pointless myths and fables? Just curious…
by sb on May 14, 2008 8:30 AM EDT reply actions
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