FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: LADIES WITH WEAPONS
We like women with weapons. It’s not healthy, we know: blame it on too much adolescent viewing of Weimar Republic-era pornography, or on repeated viewings of Red Sonya, but either way there’s a little extra electricity in the air when an attractive woman takes things up a notch or two to .50 caliber sexy with the addition of a potentially death-inducing weapon.
Thus, today’s theme: famous ladies with weapons. Enjoy.
Zhang Ziyi
Phenomenal with both swords and curved blades at close range. Possesses a slight edge of craziness in her eye. Really seemed into it when Lo shoves his hand down her pants in the cave scene in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Played a character so possessed with passion and violence in the aforementioned film that she killed herself rather than live. All of these are traits we’d bulletpoint on a resume of hotness.
Vasquez, Aliens

Cast straight from the A-Rod school of female design, yes; however, our admiration springs from her ability to wield one of the baddest guns in movie history, her loving relationship with fellow mad gunner Drake, her pull-up ability, and her decision to blow herself and fifty aliens to hell rather than surrender.
Kate Beckinsale, Underworld.
Two guns. Hundreds of vampires. One indestructible laytex bodysuit.
Rose McGowan, Planet Terror.
Gets a gun attached to her later in the film and is still hot. We present the initial hot pants scene, where McGowan demonstrates excellent lift, separation, and globularity in the buttocks department.
Halle Berry, Die Another Day.

She’s got a dive knife, right? That counts.
Pam Grier, Coffy

Shoots her politician boyfriend in the crotch with a shotgun after he betrays her to the mob. Looks Pam Grier-good the whole time doing it, too.









1
Vol says:
Very nice! Doesn’t Selma Hyeck pack heat at some point in Desperado, or was that all Banderas?
May 9th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
2
Bruce says:
On a scale of 1-10, Kate Beckinsale is an 11.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
3
Brian says:
That Ass on Rose is a weapon if I ever saw one. Its a mind control device.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
4
Sundawg says:
This list almost, and I mean almost, makes me long for the regular, South American butt-babies normally found here.
However, Halle Berry makes up for everything. H-a-l-l-e B-e-r-r-y, ummmmmmmm.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
5
burt77 says:
@2 -
/agree
/bow
May 9th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
6
Vol says:
@5 -
I like the themes…takes a little more thought than just pasting hot ass up on the page.
That being said…maybe it is time to venture back south of the border for those surfer/volleyball girls one of these Fridays.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
7
Vol says:
Excuse me…that comment was directed at #4.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
8
Adam says:
I think Zhang Ziyi is super-hot, and it drives my wife crazy that I think Zhang Ziyi is hot, and that makes Zhang Ziyi even hotter…
May 9th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
9
Holly says:
I prefer Salma in Once Upon A Time In Mexico. Ay.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
10
weagle251 says:
Yeah, Vasquez wasn’t hot, but that weapon was.
“Hey. I only need to know one thing. Where. They. Are.”
May 9th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
11
Rob says:
#2: Correct. She alone made Underworld worth watching.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
12
Vol says:
Vols of a feather…
May 9th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
13
sandman227 says:
Beckinsale was also stunning in “Van Helsing”….an irretrievably dumb movie, but damn, was she ever hot in it….
May 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
14
CincySooner says:
#1: Yes Selma has pulled off the weapons/hotness parlay several times.
How could you forget the flashback scene in “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” where she has 10 or 12 throwing knives stuffed in a custom-made garter. (btw Eva Mendes cameos as a Federalli for bonus hotness with weapons. )
May 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
15
CincySooner says:
And Holly beats me to the punch.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
16
Last Dragon says:
I’d like a little less clothes, please.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
17
Signal to Noise says:
#1 and #9 win. No “hotties with weapons” display is complete without Salma.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
18
hailstate says:
The Bride?
May 9th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
19
Ryno says:
What was the name of that one cum dumpster in Van Helsing? She didn’t go 2 minutes in that movie without a weapon or a drink in one of her hands and she was totally motor-boatable….
May 9th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
20
odell51 says:
Uma Thurman is missing from this. But I googled naked pictures of Kate Beckinsale this morning after sitting through Van Helsing on TBS last night.
She really is the hottest thing out of England ever.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
21
Vol says:
Well Mr. Hall, if you’re not already 3 drinks into the weekend, it looks like the populace yearns for Salma. But no, I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
22
Vol says:
Ohhhh #20 good call on the Uma. Loves me some Uma.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
23
JTG says:
Where’s Amanda Peet’s contribution from the Whole Nine Yards? Brings a whole new meaning to “Naked Gun”
May 9th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
24
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
How about Dolly Parton? Didnt she carry a gun in 9 to 5 when they kidnapped their boss?
May 9th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
25
MCab says:
Halle Berry’s fine, but she ain’t no dinner thang.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
26
DC Trojan says:
Mr Pelican Pants @ 24, I believe she did – but that might be too much of a good thing.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
27
spartanmike says:
I think that the snake Salma wears in ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ could be considered a weapon.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
28
Sundawg says:
Emma Peele, paging Emma Peele!
May 9th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
29
Raider Red says:
I prefer Ursula Andress over Halle Berry.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
30
Jack says:
I just saw “Aliens” again the other day on Starz, and it still scares the fuck out of me. I guess where that movies concerned, I’m still just a six-year-old watching it on HBO when my parents aren’t home. So … I am probably overlooking any hotness there might be in that movie…
May 9th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
31
NativeSon says:
Trinity. Matrix. Done.
May 9th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
32
Hoboken says:
Worst list ever.
Worst Friday Cheesecake ever. Vasquez? Really? Is hot? Does she even count as a female?
I get it – throw everyone a curve with creativity for its own sake! Hey, Rosie O’Donnell had a gun in Stakeout, why not add her? Just as valid; even more original.
The captions are half-hearted, too. Friday cheesecake has really stumbled lately.
I feel like I accidentally clicked on one of those random Yahoo lists. Either do it right or don’t do it at all, damnit! This used to be something to look forward to!
May 9th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
33
Orson Swindle says:
Hoboken–
Nothing would thrill us more, frankly.
May 9th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
34
sandman227 says:
#27-Spartan Mike:
Nicely done…can’t belive I forgot about that scene
May 9th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
35
Allaha says:
Hoboken — You have a right to complain because . . . ?
May 9th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
36
Holly says:
Because finding naked ladies on the internet on your own is REALLY REALLY DIFFICULT.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
37
Out of Conference says:
What about Holly in “Lost a bet to Orson” – those were some nice guns!
ok ok I’m not a stalker.
I did see Coffy the other night late on IFC. Damn Pam Grier was tough.
Others I’d add
Trinity in Matrix
Princess Leia with a blaster
Mary Stuart Masterson or Andie MacDowell in Bad Girls (although Drew got nekkid)
the hot chick in Starship Troopers- either one of them actually
May 9th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
38
Holly says:
OOOOH. Dina Meyer (sp?). Yes yes yes, even hot when she’s spitting up blood.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
39
Hoboken says:
Allaha – You have a right to ask me that because….?
If Orson doesn’t want to do it, then free him from his misery. End the sad charade!
May 9th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
40
Ninja Football says:
On a scale of 1-10, Kate Beckinsale rates a “Girls making out. ”
Comment by Bruce — May 9, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
Fixed.
Seriously, she is one of the most desirable women on earth. To quote Henry Rollins…..
“I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like. Just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow….”
May 9th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
41
Year2-Dave says:
I couldn’t take Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon seriously because the physics in it look exactly like those from Super Mario 64.
When I caught it on DVD, I just kept saying “Yah! Wah! Yahoooooo!” That completely ruined it for my friend who owned the movie and henceforth could not avoid thinking of the plumber while watching it.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
42
Holly says:
1. Kate Beckinsale ruins every movie, ever. Hate.
2. For fuck’s sake, here.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
43
Year2-Dave says:
Holly, your link is 404′d.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
44
Holly says:
It works for me…(in more ways than one)….(HEY-O!)
May 9th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
45
Futbawl Fan says:
Holly your link is like 400F
May 9th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
46
Year2-Dave says:
The URL is something now, but not when you first put it up. It had been:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/05/09/friday-cheesecake-ladies-with-weapons/www
May 9th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
47
Cock D says:
Rose McGowan – that’s an ass.
Otherwise, meh bunda this week.
May 9th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
48
chg says:
Granted, there’re many better pictures of Zhang Ziyi, but how can you knock any list that includes her, Halle Berry, Kate Beckinsale, and Rose McGowan?
I’ll take that over random South American girls I’ve never heard of any day of the week.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
49
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Hey, how bout Helen Slater in the movie
“The Legend of Billie Jean”? Didnt she shoot a man, just to watch him die? Thats hawwwwt……..and I think Ms. Slater is hotter since she is on Smallville now….
May 10th, 2008 at 7:39 am
50
Pompano Pete says:
Me want Latin bunda back!
May 10th, 2008 at 8:45 am
51
baconboy says:
No one has mentioned Milla Jovovich, who has starred in those three Resident Evil movies and Ultraviolet? Sure, the movies are crap, but she’s totally hot. She ought to get a bonus vote for being in Dazed and Confused too.
May 10th, 2008 at 8:50 am
52
Mack says:
Pam Grier was so fucking hot in the 70s.
May 10th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
53
tapout says:
PATRICIA ARQUETTE
Nascent arousals abound when a generously endowed female named Alabama kicks the living fuck outta James Gandolfini.
James-friggin GANDOLFINI !!!!!!
“True Romance” is one of my favorites, and………………………………………her name’s A L A B A M A! (sweet!)
May 12th, 2008 at 4:06 am
54
CockofAges says:
Rose McGowan must’ve had NERF ass implants done to complete the Tijuana Trifecta of bad plastic surgery she underwent, including the addition of Michaels Jackson’s nose (#4) and the Barbi Twins’ lips. What a waste, but the catalytic crazy bitch synergy with Alyssa Milano was just too much, I guess.
As for the rest of the list, I salute the inclusion of Vasqie and her heroically underrated tetas grandes. You could make an argument for Sigourney and her jiffy-pop panty-clad muff in several “Alien” films, but I won’t. (Bonus for Harry Connick, Jr. requestung a pair of her “Squirrel covers” in “Copycat”.)
Finally, for you pablum-puking whiners who want “more” than you got herein, google “Veronika Zemanova actiongirls”. She is the indisputable litmus test for presence of the pillow-biter gene.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:17 am
55
fresh says:
What, no Lori Petty? Tank Girl totally kicked butt.
May 12th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
56
JIMPSU says:
Angelina Jolie as Lara?
June 14th, 2008 at 11:58 am