FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: LADIES WITH WEAPONS
We like women with weapons. It’s not healthy, we know: blame it on too much adolescent viewing of Weimar Republic-era pornography, or on repeated viewings of Red Sonya, but either way there’s a little extra electricity in the air when an attractive woman takes things up a notch or two to .50 caliber sexy with the addition of a potentially death-inducing weapon.
Thus, today’s theme: famous ladies with weapons. Enjoy.
Zhang Ziyi
Phenomenal with both swords and curved blades at close range. Possesses a slight edge of craziness in her eye. Really seemed into it when Lo shoves his hand down her pants in the cave scene in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Played a character so possessed with passion and violence in the aforementioned film that she killed herself rather than live. All of these are traits we’d bulletpoint on a resume of hotness.
Vasquez, Aliens

Cast straight from the A-Rod school of female design, yes; however, our admiration springs from her ability to wield one of the baddest guns in movie history, her loving relationship with fellow mad gunner Drake, her pull-up ability, and her decision to blow herself and fifty aliens to hell rather than surrender.
Kate Beckinsale, Underworld.
Two guns. Hundreds of vampires. One indestructible laytex bodysuit.
Rose McGowan, Planet Terror.
Gets a gun attached to her later in the film and is still hot. We present the initial hot pants scene, where McGowan demonstrates excellent lift, separation, and globularity in the buttocks department.
Halle Berry, Die Another Day.

She’s got a dive knife, right? That counts.
Pam Grier, Coffy

Shoots her politician boyfriend in the crotch with a shotgun after he betrays her to the mob. Looks Pam Grier-good the whole time doing it, too.












55
What, no Lori Petty? Tank Girl totally kicked butt.
Comment by fresh — May 12, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
54
Rose McGowan must’ve had NERF ass implants done to complete the Tijuana Trifecta of bad plastic surgery she underwent, including the addition of Michaels Jackson’s nose (#4) and the Barbi Twins’ lips. What a waste, but the catalytic crazy bitch synergy with Alyssa Milano was just too much, I guess.
As for the rest of the list, I salute the inclusion of Vasqie and her heroically underrated tetas grandes. You could make an argument for Sigourney and her jiffy-pop panty-clad muff in several “Alien” films, but I won’t. (Bonus for Harry Connick, Jr. requestung a pair of her “Squirrel covers” in “Copycat”.)
Finally, for you pablum-puking whiners who want “more” than you got herein, google “Veronika Zemanova actiongirls”. She is the indisputable litmus test for presence of the pillow-biter gene.
Comment by CockofAges — May 12, 2008 @ 10:17 am
53
PATRICIA ARQUETTE
Nascent arousals abound when a generously endowed female named Alabama kicks the living fuck outta James Gandolfini.
James-friggin GANDOLFINI !!!!!!
“True Romance” is one of my favorites, and………………………………………her name’s A L A B A M A! (sweet!)
Comment by tapout — May 12, 2008 @ 4:06 am
52
Pam Grier was so fucking hot in the 70s.
Comment by Mack — May 10, 2008 @ 12:32 pm
51
No one has mentioned Milla Jovovich, who has starred in those three Resident Evil movies and Ultraviolet? Sure, the movies are crap, but she’s totally hot. She ought to get a bonus vote for being in Dazed and Confused too.
Comment by baconboy — May 10, 2008 @ 8:50 am