Nice try Orson. Everyone knows you don’t have to pickle your unicorn eggs because they last FOREVER!

I prefer my unicorn eggs soft boiled with a little salt and pepper. Really sets off the yolk that way.

Regarding Mr. Bowden’s forthright desire for “generous” announcers, I would like to share an oft repeated figure of speech from a former boss that I believe is particularly appropriate:

You can’t polish a turd.

one of the first clear signs of a major heart attack is death. very often there is little or no warning or, like in kevin’s case, an accumulation of quasi-innocuous symptoms one may not even realize are connected.

we tend to overlook heart disease as a problem due to it’s ubiquity. we read about huge accidents and bizarre ailments and forget it’s the number one killer in this country. more than half a million people will die of it this year, that’s one person every THIRTY FOUR FUCKING SECONDS.

i actively despise the use of the word ‘proactive’ as it has been abused by bureaucrats and the vagaries of coachspeak but this is one situation it’s completely warranted. get a cholesterol check, quit smoking and exercise a bit.

In other news, it looks like the Gators finally made the Fulmer Cup Big Board ::sigh:: see gatorsports.com

the reason the capture under cooper’s picture made me laugh so hard is that it seems so damn likely that “assface” is in his regular vocabulary.

While John Cooper was a good coach in the first 10 games of most years, the 2-10-1 vs. our biggest rival is such an abberation that it defies logic. Three of those seasons we went in undefeated. If he were to just win those three, and ended 5-7-1, it probably wouldn’t even be brought up since it would have meant a few MNC’s won in the process. The transition was much easier from Cooper to Tressel since the talent pool was a little deeper thanks to Coop, than what he inherited from Earle Bruce. Ironically, both Cooper and Bruce have been welcomed by Tressel as a part of the Buckeyes and have a great relationship with the current regime, despite both being fired. I am not sure if that has happened anywhere else. Now if only we can get over the little hump in the NC game again….

#7; Now if only we can get over the little hump in the NC game again….

A multiple-loss SEC team admires your persistence.

Orson, thanks for the answer. My comment was more of an expression of a former managerial style than a complaint directed against the EDSBS canon.

Life Lesson dept:
When dealing with ranters, complainers and general malcontents….Let them go. Do not say a word. Do not let them “push your buttons.” Solo arguing is impossible. Calmness will eventually follow. If reasonable solutions are offered, stop thinking about about that awesome “draw” that you have perfected at the golf course, and listen.

Wait for the “uncomfortable” pause, explain what is required and the repercussions for non-compliance. End meeting.

My wife has not raised her voice to me in decades. Pouts, but no arguments.

About three years ago, I took off a few days from work due to general malaise. Thinking i was coming down with the flu, I spent two days being a couch potato. On the evening of the second day, I had a pain between my shoulder blades. Decided to take a hot shower to relieve the ache.

Then it happened. Dizziness, nausea and an urge to shit. Pain in my back was excruciating. Looked in the mirror and saw a pale reflection. Hands, fingers and fingernails…white. Chewed up 4 baby asprins, which probably saved my life.

Later, in the ER, the nurse is pumping me with all the morphine I wanted. Completely coherent, I am telling my wife whom I would like to give some of my possessions.

In the cath lab, they insert a probe in your groin area and you can watch on a monitor while the Doctor manipulates it toward the clot. Once the stent was inserted, I felt like was 20 yrs. old again. Amazing.

I am not going to preach about lifestyles and diets. Everyone knows what they should do. If anything, schedule a stress test.

Yeah, Blobby at reFSU has ensured that everyone surrounding his little Camel-lot only speaks in glowing terms when in the shadow of his stained-glass window. May his countenance continue to grace the halls of Joke-Shambles Erector Set and may his leadership and guidance of the football team and university remain intact.

hung @ #10…holy cow.

why do i suddenly feel the urge to eat a salad with fat-free dressing?

Yeh reading hussain’s and Kevin’s NDE makes me want to really get back on the treadmill that has sat in the corner the past 3 yrs as the stress of having 2 young kids, an exhausted wife, 6 days a week working 12-14 long hours a day at a high stress job, makes ya take a step back a bit….the ‘metal probe up yo’ groin’ will get any guys attention…I was a fullback in high school/ JUCO and have always been short and stocky powerlifter type who thought cardio is fer sissies, but that ‘stent’ part, the metal probe in your artery and helicopter ride I want no part of…..Women will outlive us all!!

@12 sb

With apologies to Monty Python…“I’m feeling much better.”

Cooper was 1-0 vs. Michigan during his tenure at Arizona State. w00t!

Don’t you mean Jeff Bowden and not Terry?

Hung @ #15…and thankfully, “I’m (you’re) not dead yet!”…also with compliments to Monty Python. Actually the issues that have affected friends close to me have been colo-rectal cancer…some fatal and others near misses. Makes each day a little more appealing…

If you skipped Kevin’s post about his heart attack, stop right now, click on the link, and read it. RIGHT NOW. I know there are plenty of twentysomethings that read this, but there are more than a few of us fortysomethings. I’m going for a walk right now. It’s the least I can do.

I strongly second Orson and Brandon Lang’s recomendation to read Kevin’s post… pronto. Thanks for the story, HLH. After readong Kevin’s story I walked over to the break/coffee area at work and grabbed a pack of aspirin for my wallet.

Mr. Pelican Pants, sb and Brandon, those precautionary procedures (stress test, colonoscopy, visits to the dermatologist for funny moles, etc.) can be stressful. The old “I just don’t want to know” syndrome. I’ll put it off, I don’t have time, It’s probably nothing…..typical male thought processes. I didn’t want to preach, but….

My cholesterol has always been fine (triglycerides high, but OK.), 15 lbs. overweight (but hey I’m an endomorph body type) just like you described Mr.PP (ex-guard.) In fact 2 years before my “infarction”, I had led my Boy Scout Troup on my second Philmont trek of 90+ miles at up to 12,000ft. elevation. Kicked my ass that time, but I made it.

In conclusion, (ENG101 habit) go to the Doctor if you have a concern, take advantage of any screening services(free or insurance provided) and……We all have to make a living, It’s the American way, just realize that a hug, scratching behind the right ear of your old dog, growing tomatoes, sleeping well, teaching a kid to throw a curve……..free and at the same time priceless.

Forgot to add…..laughter. Without a doubt, the best medicine available. Of course anyone (except Tafkatosub) realizes this.

Speaking of laughter…..NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18ClRW7nDxs&feature=related

I was a huge FSU fan growing up. A huge fan of Bowden. Even used him as the subject of a paper on leadership that I wrote in grad school.

Now, I’m not sure which version of Bowden I’m going to remember.

Truth be told, PT would still be there if the OC wasn’t one of Bobby’s boys. PT took a swing at Jeffy, and of course you don’t do that because Jeffy walks on water. Of course, it’s a moot point because the OC wouldn’t have been there if he wasn’t one of Bobby’s boys. Bowden wouldn’t have put up with a high school offense (yes, I said it) for six years if it wasn’t his kid running the show. And it goes without saying that JB would still be there if Bowden had his way. I have no doubt he was grooming his idiot kid to be the next head coach.

Nobody wanted FSU to win more than PT. As for a PR guy, they got their man in William Floyd. It will be interesting to hear how Floyd spins 30-point losses into something good. From Floyd’s lips to God’s ears, FSU will be 13-0 this year.

I’ve lost a lost of respect for FSU football. I’ve lost even more respect for Bobby Bowden. And that makes me sad.