YOUR PROFANITY IS NOT APPRECIATED IN TENNESSEE
Fuck you, Fulmer!Tennessee fans’ attitude toward Phil Fulmer is much like their unique body odor: a layered, complex aroma of pungent, angry deer musk, sweet cinnamon bun odors from breakfast, the smoky country ham odor from lunch, and the angry bite of moonshine on the breath from the liquid dinner. It’s hard to discern whether Tennessee fans are done with him and waiting for something better to come along, affectionate towards him because of the past, or stuck in a muddled, hammy mix of the two.
Except for this gentleman, of course.
A Signal Mountain man is facing an obscenity charge after displaying a sign on his car.
A sheriff’s deputy who made the arrest said Jeremy Boyd Eaker, 20, of 7717 Sawyer Pike, had a sign reading: “F— you, Fulmer.”
The newspaper, because they filter reality into soft little edgeless nuggets for the fire-god-fearing mouthbreathing mer-tards who make up 72% of humanity, could not type the word “Fuck.” That’s just a guess: we would not be surprised if “F—” would get you arrested in Tennessee. Either way, we’ll start a defense fund for the guy if you like us to. One paypal account against oppression at a time, internet soldiers. If a gentleman can’t put a crude, handpainted sign telling a football coach to go ride porkpole in his front yard, then what do we live and die for, dammit?
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1
Sundawg says:
Dad?
May 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
2
sb says:
Is it possible to imagine a more defining name for a profane, redneck UT fan? You can’t make up shit like this…and I’ll save my contribution for the EDSBS Bowl, thank you.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
3
Ryno says:
Maybe the cops name was Fulmer?
May 7th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
4
Orson Swindle says:
His friends must call him “Eaker,” or “Eek.” It’s fact, and we know it.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
5
Holly says:
It’s hard to discern whether Tennessee fans are done with him and waiting for something better to come along, affectionate towards him because of the past, or stuck in a muddled, hammy mix of the two.
It depends largely on the last visible scoreboard, to be honest. We have the collective memory of a goldfish on PCP.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
6
okiedomer says:
perhaps the obscenity charge doesn’t stem from the use of the word “fuck,” but from leaving readers of the sign with the mental image of fulmer engaged in sex acts?
i know i find that obscene
May 7th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
7
Holly says:
Also, I once showed my dad some random EDSBS post, and he came away muttering “He’s OUR fat crook”, which really sums it up beautifully.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
8
CapstoneAlum says:
Early Cuyler likes the way this guy thinks.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
9
OhioDawg says:
There’s still a chance the jury acquits. If not, this is an example of a terrorist victory.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
10
leNDmeabuck says:
I thought I was opening a Mustache Wednesday post
May 7th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
11
Sad State of Affairs says:
I don’t think he would have been arrested if he was in Alabama.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
12
aaronkye says:
@8
+1
May 7th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
13
MaconDawg says:
And to be fair, Signal Mountain is damn near the Georgia line, so it could be that the guy was headed to Atlanta for a weekend in the big city and just needed some camouflage to avoid being beaten by hordes of mandled and golf shirted Georgia fans in the city too busy to hate.
On a related note, I drove through Tennessee this weekend on the way to Lexington, and I have to ask: What is it with you people and O’Charley’s? I mean it’s a nice little place (I even worked there for 3 weeks in college), but do you have to build one at every exit? How much grilled tilapia and yeast rolls can one state eat? It’s like the Yin to the Yang of Atlanta’s Paneras.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
14
MCab says:
The “F—” stood for “Feed.”
May 7th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
15
Sundawg says:
The article said it was a local cop named Fulmer. Phil, like Shaquile O’Neal, may have a second job.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
16
NativeSon says:
#14
swing and a hit! nice.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
17
The Modern Gal says:
Um, except that he was supposedly referring to a local cop named Fulmer and not the football coach.
Pesky facts.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
18
Brian O'Blivion says:
Don’t fuck with the Chattanoogan either, or they’ll publish your address in the paper and on the internets.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
19
hailstate says:
Profanity is the crutch of a limited vocabulary.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
20
Brian O'Blivion says:
17 – you must be new here. Never let facts get in the way of a good story. I heard that….somewhere.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
21
okiedomer says:
19
fuck off, shitbag
May 7th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
22
lawtool says:
but, is it still ok to yell “fulmer” in a crowded o’charleys, that, my friend, is the question.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
23
Wahoowa says:
Just to inject a little “totally not fun” into all this:
I’m pretty sure prosecuting him for this is unconstitutional. See Cohen v. California, 403 U.S. 15 (1971). Dude wore a jacket that said “Fuck the Draft,” prosecuted for disturbing the peace, Supreme Court said it’s unconstitutional.
Also see Miller v. California, 413 U.S 15 (1973). States can punish obscenity, but to be obscene (1) the average person, applying contemporary community standards (not national standards, as some prior tests required), must find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest; (2) the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct or excretory functions specifically defined by applicable state law; and (3) the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value. This clearly fails at least one of these and maybe all three.
God, I’m such a lawya. Kill me now.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
24
Wahoowa says:
#22 wins. Managed to work in O’Charley’s, Fulmer, and a O.W. Holmes free speech reference all in a single sentence.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
25
Bill says:
I just moved to Tennessee, and today I say a dump truck that had, printed on the back, “Caution! F—ing objects!” I assume that somebody scratched out the “all,” but in Tennessee, you never know. If it had been a truck carrying livestock, I’d be sure.
May 7th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
26
SpookyJuice says:
I want to drive to kentucky with this painted on my ford focus
A horse is a horse of course of course
and no one can talk to a horse of course
especially if they euthanize it after the kentucky derby
May 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
27
sb says:
hail @ #19…I believe profanity is more the intent to rapidly and concisely depict a particularly strong and understandable thought or belief in as few words as possible…fucker.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:39 am
28
Vol says:
Your profane rant is my sonnet.
May 8th, 2008 at 9:07 am
29
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
happy mustache wednesday
May 8th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
30
citiesaregreat says:
Well, spookyjuice, I suggest you get in the focus, put this crap on it and head on up I75. You might be wishing for a little euthanasia. Punk.
May 8th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
31
SpookyJuice says:
yes….i’m very sure I will be. The thought of Kentucky makes me want to be euthanized every time
May 8th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
32
2L over the line, sweet jesus says:
#19, as someone who got a perfect score on the verbal portion of the SAT and excels at all things language-related, I must say that you, sir, are a fucking moron, and I will be shitting on your mother’s chest tonight. GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:52 pm