YOUR PROFANITY IS NOT APPRECIATED IN TENNESSEE
by Orson on May 7, 2008 2:46 PM EDT
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Fuck you, Fulmer!Tennessee fans' attitude toward Phil Fulmer is much like their unique body odor: a layered, complex aroma of pungent, angry deer musk, sweet cinnamon bun odors from breakfast, the smoky country ham odor from lunch, and the angry bite of moonshine on the breath from the liquid dinner. It's hard to discern whether Tennessee fans are done with him and waiting for something better to come along, affectionate towards him because of the past, or stuck in a muddled, hammy mix of the two.
Except for this gentleman, of course.
A Signal Mountain man is facing an obscenity charge after displaying a sign on his car.
A sheriff's deputy who made the arrest said Jeremy Boyd Eaker, 20, of 7717 Sawyer Pike, had a sign reading: "F--- you, Fulmer."
The newspaper, because they filter reality into soft little edgeless nuggets for the fire-god-fearing mouthbreathing mer-tards who make up 72% of humanity, could not type the word "Fuck." That's just a guess: we would not be surprised if "F---" would get you arrested in Tennessee. Either way, we'll start a defense fund for the guy if you like us to. One paypal account against oppression at a time, internet soldiers. If a gentleman can't put a crude, handpainted sign telling a football coach to go ride porkpole in his front yard, then what do we live and die for, dammit?
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Is it possible to imagine a more defining name for a profane, redneck UT fan? You can’t make up shit like this…and I’ll save my contribution for the EDSBS Bowl, thank you.
by sb on May 7, 2008 3:07 PM EDT reply actions
His friends must call him “Eaker,” or “Eek.” It’s fact, and we know it.
by Orson Swindle on May 7, 2008 3:10 PM EDT reply actions
ItÂ’s hard to discern whether Tennessee fans are done with him and waiting for something better to come along, affectionate towards him because of the past, or stuck in a muddled, hammy mix of the two.
It depends largely on the last visible scoreboard, to be honest. We have the collective memory of a goldfish on PCP.
by Holly on May 7, 2008 3:10 PM EDT reply actions
perhaps the obscenity charge doesn’t stem from the use of the word “fuck,” but from leaving readers of the sign with the mental image of fulmer engaged in sex acts?
i know i find that obscene
by okiedomer on May 7, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions
Also, I once showed my dad some random EDSBS post, and he came away muttering “He’s OUR fat crook”, which really sums it up beautifully.
by Holly on May 7, 2008 3:13 PM EDT reply actions
Early Cuyler likes the way this guy thinks.
by CapstoneAlum on May 7, 2008 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
There’s still a chance the jury acquits. If not, this is an example of a terrorist victory.
by OhioDawg on May 7, 2008 3:22 PM EDT reply actions
I thought I was opening a Mustache Wednesday post
by leNDmeabuck on May 7, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t think he would have been arrested if he was in Alabama.
by Sad State of Affairs on May 7, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions
And to be fair, Signal Mountain is damn near the Georgia line, so it could be that the guy was headed to Atlanta for a weekend in the big city and just needed some camouflage to avoid being beaten by hordes of mandled and golf shirted Georgia fans in the city too busy to hate.
On a related note, I drove through Tennessee this weekend on the way to Lexington, and I have to ask: What is it with you people and O’Charley’s? I mean it’s a nice little place (I even worked there for 3 weeks in college), but do you have to build one at every exit? How much grilled tilapia and yeast rolls can one state eat? It’s like the Yin to the Yang of Atlanta’s Paneras.
by MaconDawg on May 7, 2008 3:54 PM EDT reply actions
The article said it was a local cop named Fulmer. Phil, like Shaquile O’Neal, may have a second job.
by Sundawg on May 7, 2008 4:20 PM EDT reply actions
Um, except that he was supposedly referring to a local cop named Fulmer and not the football coach.
Pesky facts.
by The Modern Gal on May 7, 2008 4:21 PM EDT reply actions
Don’t fuck with the Chattanoogan either, or they’ll publish your address in the paper and on the internets.
by Brian O'Blivion on May 7, 2008 4:24 PM EDT reply actions
Profanity is the crutch of a limited vocabulary.
by hailstate on May 7, 2008 4:25 PM EDT reply actions
17 – you must be new here. Never let facts get in the way of a good story. I heard that….somewhere.
by Brian O'Blivion on May 7, 2008 4:29 PM EDT reply actions
but, is it still ok to yell “fulmer” in a crowded o’charleys, that, my friend, is the question.
by lawtool on May 7, 2008 6:03 PM EDT reply actions
Just to inject a little “totally not fun” into all this:
I’m pretty sure prosecuting him for this is unconstitutional. See Cohen v. California, 403 U.S. 15 (1971). Dude wore a jacket that said “Fuck the Draft,” prosecuted for disturbing the peace, Supreme Court said it’s unconstitutional.
Also see Miller v. California, 413 U.S 15 (1973). States can punish obscenity, but to be obscene (1) the average person, applying contemporary community standards (not national standards, as some prior tests required), must find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest; (2) the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct or excretory functions specifically defined by applicable state law; and (3) the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value. This clearly fails at least one of these and maybe all three.
God, I’m such a lawya. Kill me now.
by Wahoowa on May 7, 2008 6:18 PM EDT reply actions
- wins. Managed to work in O’Charley’s, Fulmer, and a O.W. Holmes free speech reference all in a single sentence.
by Wahoowa on May 7, 2008 6:20 PM EDT reply actions
I just moved to Tennessee, and today I say a dump truck that had, printed on the back, “Caution! F—-ing objects!” I assume that somebody scratched out the “all,” but in Tennessee, you never know. If it had been a truck carrying livestock, I’d be sure.
by Bill on May 7, 2008 8:53 PM EDT reply actions
I want to drive to kentucky with this painted on my ford focus
A horse is a horse of course of course
and no one can talk to a horse of course
especially if they euthanize it after the kentucky derby
by SpookyJuice on May 7, 2008 9:49 PM EDT reply actions
hail @ #19…I believe profanity is more the intent to rapidly and concisely depict a particularly strong and understandable thought or belief in as few words as possible…fucker.
by sb on May 8, 2008 8:39 AM EDT reply actions
happy mustache wednesday
by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on May 8, 2008 2:54 PM EDT reply actions
Well, spookyjuice, I suggest you get in the focus, put this crap on it and head on up I75. You might be wishing for a little euthanasia. Punk.
by citiesaregreat on May 8, 2008 6:28 PM EDT reply actions
yes….i’m very sure I will be. The thought of Kentucky makes me want to be euthanized every time
by SpookyJuice on May 8, 2008 8:49 PM EDT reply actions
#19, as someone who got a perfect score on the verbal portion of the SAT and excels at all things language-related, I must say that you, sir, are a fucking moron, and I will be shitting on your mother’s chest tonight. GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
by 2L over the line, sweet jesus on May 9, 2008 12:52 AM EDT reply actions
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