WE DIDN'T ASK FOR THESE POWERS

Best asterisk ever.

1) Go to the grand premier of the next Lindsey Lohan film.

2) Join Al Qaeda.

3) Root against social security.

What’s it gonna cost me to get you to bet that Ohio State has no major NCAA violations this year?

I would love to see Nick Saban have time for this shit: a sit down interview with in-depth, profanity-free analysis of The Process…

So, basically, you’re Mush (Bronx Tale).

Were you partying in the New York area a few months ago…in the SoHo area, maybe…in the proximity of a certain dreamy, Australian actor?

Oh god…we were in a bar in SoHo…

Orson, would you please accept these 2 free tickets to USC/UCLA?

Hell, don’t as me – I voted early and for Edwards in the Florida Primary and look how that turned out!

you haven’t had a recent trip to chile have you?

Where were you on the afternoon of November 22, 1963?

First, were you in Myanmar this weekend?

Second, how do you explain the back to back basketball championships sandwiched around a football championship for Florida?

Peter: these are called “confounders.” In social science, this means you ignore them because they undermine your case.

Please visit and celebrate enthusiastically the birthday parties of all of the originators of the BCS system.

maybe you’re just a god of unfortunate occurrences or something and the events are trying to please you by happening.

my buddy laid some cash on eight belles on saturday b/c it was his wedding day…wedding “bells”…eight “belles”…get it?? well we found out the result of that bet about 30 minutes before the ceremony. we told him it had to be a bad omen and that it wasn’t too late to back out. only time will tell.

First off, stay the fuck AWAY from me!

With that said — with all of the vile, evil, malice-filled hatred in this post (and in the comments!)…Buzz Bissinger approves this blog!

UF is weak against the pass? Who knew? I was in Jacksonville last year and They looked weak against the run to me. Has anyone told Mark Richt about this?

I’m curious how this affects my rack.

Looks like Swindle Industries needs to fund a night out in Athens with Stafford and Moreno.

CRANK DAT!!!

#16, Now that you’ve raised the subject, we’re all curious, Holly.

Orson, please stay away from Burning Man, In’n’Out Burger and Tebow just called and said to stay the fuck away from the Phillipenes.

Whoops. Clearly meant #18.

Rumour from the USC campus is that Pete Carroll is totally jacked about starting a broken-horse outreach program for suffering equines.

No, please find your way to Burning Man as soon as possible.

YOU LEAVE HOLLY"S RACK ALONE SWINDLE!

Please stay away from the NCAA Tournament if UCLA is playing. I would like for them to win it all finally!

Did you take out a subprime mortgage last year?

The stock market is pretty much like gambling, right?

BUY DISNEY! (Actually, given how ESPN’s been doing quality-wise since, oh, 1995, I’m betting this has been a long-term investment strategy.)

Did you short sell crude by any chance?

Bad mojo? August 1995. A friend/fellow Grateful Dead fan is in town. We’re discussing Jerry Garcia’s health and ‘joking’ about him dying soon. We even named the pallbearers in his upcoming funeral. 2-3 days later, dead.

We got the pallbearers right, too.

Put some $$ on Mississippi State going undefeated in the SEC.

Admit it Orson…

Halfway through the season last year, you put $50 on Dennis Dixon winning the Heisman.

Always bet on red.

Orson,

Please accept my invitation to an all expense paid weekend in Jacksonville this fall. You know, WLOCP and all.

Thanks in advance!

No, I’m pretty sure that it was my fault – or at least I thought that when it happened. Thanks for taking some of the blame.

Orson, you jinxed SRV?? Anger upon thee…

As for ESPN… It’s been downhill ever since they stopped showing Aussie Rules Football.

North Melbourne Kangaroos pwn.

#18, Holly:

Get a breast exam, stat. And, for that matter, Kanu should probably get a prostate exam too.

As for you Orson… yours is a power too terrible to wield. You need to form some sort of fellowship to cast yourself into the fires of the Tennessee iron forge from whence you came.

#16, We can all relax about Buzz, after an interview with Orson the problem is solved. I can see Buzz on a plane flight over the Andes with the Young Cannibals. No, I don’t mean the band. Orson, could You please do an up close and personal with Tom Lemming? The SEC, FSU, and The U of South Beach would be forever in your debt.

Go ahead and root for climate change. Wait, nevermind.

Root for Florida to meet Auburn in the conference championship and have it come down to a 45 yard field goal and then have Urban ice the kicker just as the ball is snapped…..

….oh, wait.

Sullivan013

O., your, uh, “talent” is indeed impressive…my special recipe mint julep just didn’t have its usual kick after Eight Belles tragedy…and in another direction, why would anyone run a horse named after the 12:00, 4:00, or 8:00 watch at 6:00? Damnedest thing I ever heard.

You claimed Florida had the SEC’s best center right before this happened, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCu8n4eo63I

God, just looking at that picture makes me want to throw up. Poor girl!

O., forgot to mention that your current diet of synchronicity is a great deal more fattening than mine…I’ll send you the name of my lesbian buddhist psychic to get that thing fixed…

Orson, you should read the short story (title story, actually) by Steven King, “Everything’s Eventual.” He prophesized you.

Nice work, asshole.

Oh, and you owe me 10 bucks.

Can you place a big bet on Tebow to win the Heisman, or have 300 yards passing and 37 rushing TDs against Georgia this year? Thanks in advance.

In all seriousnessness, it was awful, and my $.02 on it, including me telling PETA to eat a dick, can be found here:

http://dodgyatbest.blogspot.com/2008/05/eight-belles-rip.html

1. - It pleases me slightly that my own Gamecocks gave Spurrier his first vistory at MSU. I wish that meant something in the grand scheme of all things SECE, but alas even Vandy doesn’t fear us for it.

Um, #43, he did bet that Tebow would win the Heisman – last year – hence the broken arm – but obviously that wasn’t going to keep Timmy down.

BTW Orson, stop wagering that PSU linebackers are going to be drafted in the first round of the NFL draft every year – okay?

Aren’t you voting for Obama?

OK Orson… just got back from Baton Rouge….

bad news buddy… you know that drug counseling center you wanted me to open and enlist LSU players to join?… well, I had one top shelf player say he was ready to join, but he had one more night he wanted to enjoy…. and they had random drug tests the next day…

well, at least there’s still the Christian Coaches Club you’ve started at Georgia Tech…. I have a former Q’back on board and he is very excited… said he has some things to do in court, but he is gung ho!!

Cocker is still alive and owns a restaurant Colorado.

@ 38 – SB

As a Navy vet, I couldn’t help but wonder the exact same thing. Turned out that running Eight Belles at 4 bells was not such a good idea. So sad…

Man….fuck that horse. Seriously. Fuck it. How is a horse dying a ‘tragedy’ like ESPN describes it. I’ve been cussed out no less than 9 times this week for this exact reason but my stance won’t change.

SJ-

You are certainly entitled to that opinion; just make sure that you be consistent: if you ever own a dog or another animal and it dies, then just say “Fuck that dog. Seriously. Fuck it” as well.

Wow, Orson….that’s much worse than the violent riots that took place in France in October 2005, four days after I left that country.

Then again, I was at the 2008 Allstate BCS National Championship Game. That could POSSIBLY explain RP.

And you were in New Orleans that week, and Bo Pelini ran past you in Jackson Square. Uh-oh, Nebraska fans.

Just thought about this one….

I was at the USC-Washington Game last year. The following week, USC lost to Stanford.

This year, I’m heading to the Texas-Colorado Game, and may go to the LSU-Florida Game the following week.

I have a cousin that won’t take me to any more bars in South Alabma. Apparently, every time she takes me out when I am down there visiting family, the bar we go to gets destroyed. Either by hurricane or fire. So, O, I feel you bro. (Or don’t tase me bro, which ever works for you!)

StageCoach @ #48…I mentioned to my brother-in-law as the horses were introduced that running Eight Belles at 4 bells is a mistake! My wife bet on her because she was the only filly running (and present at the party, for that matter (pun intended)).

Navy vet here, too.

Orson, I believe Tennesee plays Auburn this year …

Kanu

I think I’m just oversaturated with it. Your point is exactly mine actually. The thousands of horses that died every other day were just horses…..yet some peolple actually send money and flowers etc to this horse when there are people starving to death and kids with serious problems.

People confuse me

So……more to the point…..fuck the people that care more for a horse than things that mean more

“Concern for environmental values does not require a stripping away of the perspective afforded by civilization; to value the wild, one does not have to “become wild” oneself (whatever that may mean). Rather, it is the material comforts of civilization that make possible a serious concern for both aesthetic and environmental values. These are concerns that can become pressing in developed nations in part because the populations of those countries now enjoy a certain substantial level of prosperity. It would be the height of condescension to expect a nation experiencing hunger and chronic disease to be inordinately concerned with the autonomous value of ecosystems or with creating and preserving works of art. Such values are not frivolous, but they can become important to us only after certain fundamental human needs are satisfied.”

I apologize for contributing prose attributed to cock-nose philosophical academia, however if you substitute animals [or animal protection (or horse’s rights, more directly speaking)] for all synonyms or alternates of description for the environment, I think this may aptly sum things up. There is nothing wrong with expressions of sympathy for an animal while people suffer. As long as there is an implementation of aid to developing countries (and the organizations aiming to satisfy or burgeon the budgets of those trying to solve these development crises) to coincide with the understanding that people deserve more empathy than animals, this compassion can coexist. And to those who disagree that human suffering deserves more pause than animal suffering, I don’t want to be involved in the argument or any repercussion (fast track to the rape stand).

The quoted portion should be attributed to Elliot Sober, by the way. The supplemental interpretation should be credited to someone else if you disagree. I feel guilty for skirting other obligations as it is.

And (even more controversial) go Bucks!