FULMER CUPDATE: COUGAR'D!

This week's big board only appears unchanged: Washington State makes a spectacular score in some post-incident charge juggling, a correction noted in the regular notes, corrections, and etcetera below. The board is provided, as always, by Brian, who is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson.

Washington State's Andy Roof may have put Wazzou on the board for good thanks to his ability not just to punch people at parties, but also to break their bones while doing it. The Cougars already sat at a good, solid five points thanks to some contact lens sabotage and beery legerdemain.

Andy Roof's original head-butting offense was given one point for piddly charges, but that may have changed in a drastic manner:

But the police investigation is pointing to alleged crimes more serious than misdemeanor fourth-degree assault. An assault that results in broken bones usually merits a felony second-degree charge, Tennant said.

"Our investigation is criminal in the fact, 'Did Andy Roof hit this person and how much damage did he cause this person?' " Tennant said.

Broken bones in a fight mean likely and various felony charges for Roof. Conservatively, let's go ahead and estimate two felony charges of assault at the minimum put Roof's incident at a six-pointer, meaning WSU climbs to a count of eleven--and that's if we don't "reward" Roof with a bonus point for not only punching someone completely unprovoked, but also for smashing someone's face into a stop sign.

Other than that: relative quiet. Two former Mississippi State players will be charged in a shooting incident, meaning we may have to award some retroactive points for the crime. (Croom did boot them, but they were players at the time, and therefore the charges and awarded points stand. Exeunt the EDSBS legal staff...) This quote mystifies us:

"I did make a terrible decision," said Wesley. "I didn't use the brain God gave me. I used what the devil gave me."

A golden fiddle? A stunning goatee? The gift of knowledge? Or like the only great scene in Bedazzled, a life as a Colombian drug dealer complete with assassins in pursuit and a hot mistress? For the record, we never saw what was bad about that whole setup.

(Thanks as always to the SAS Wiki Fulmer Cup board for keeping us straight on scoring. We need all the help we can get.)

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