Boo, hiss, bark: Texas A&M has chosen to ignore our sage advice–that the next Aggie mascot be a ferocious, misbegotten beast of a dog closer to a hyena than a smooth collie–and is going with “a collie-like dog.”

“She is very likely to be a collie-like dog. Something that looks similar to a collie,” Bresciani said.

According to the e-mail, there is a possibility that the next mascot will be a golden retriever. But the most unusual thing about the selection is that it is likely the next mascot will have been trained as a service dog.

The dog will likely have some service dog training because of the stress placed on the mascot, which likely has a busier schedule than you. Dogs can’t handle stress very well, as they tend to start biting things at random, making them very similar to Jim Delany or a liquored-up Ron Franklin.

We remain deeply saddened at the choice, if only because we had such dreams of the possibilities for the mascot:


And introducing Texas A&M’s new mascot…MAUAJI, DESTROYER OF FOES. Oh, and his handler, Steve.