FULMER CUP: HEADBUTT WAY INTO PARTY EDITION

by Orson on May 1, 2008 12:22 PM EDT

The headbutt is the way to eternal fight glory, the most underrated of fight moves: practically uncounterable, savage, and done with a healthy disregard for the thinking gland and its fine, rock-hard casing. Think of its savage effectiveness in the Road Warrior series, its succinct work in Road House, or its ubiquity in the Orc playbook through the Lord of the Rings movies.

It will not get you into a house party, though, if the person at the door does not want you to, something learned by head-butting, braincase-jarring Washington State defensive tackle Alan Roof the (skull) hard way on Saturday in Pullman.

Police say Roof, 22, allegedly head-butted a man who was keeping him out of a private party Saturday on Pullmans College Hill.

It looked nothing like any of the scenes below.

That's one point for Washington State for fourth-degree misdemeanor assault in the Fulmer Cup. The guy who headbutted the hell out of Indiana Jones in the runway fight scene laughs at his puny efforts.

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Tryin’ to jam in a comment about “rectal/cranial inversion” but it is beyond me just now…little help…how ’bout it?

by sb on May 1, 2008 12:30 PM EDT reply actions

True story: I once told Terrell Suggs, another gentleman, and three young ladies that they couldn’t come into my fraternity’s party because it was too full inside. Suggs, being the gentle beast that he is, said “Aw man, you serious? Okay, that’s cool” The five of them then started to walk away.

At that point, I realized who it was, called them back, and invited them to share in our abundance of hot ASU coeds and cold drinks. Suggs had a ginormous smile on his face and called me “his boy” before entering. I miss college.

by Sundevil Pete on May 1, 2008 12:32 PM EDT reply actions

That was magical. Mind you, this is coming from someone whose daughters are both instinctive headbuttters, so I may be be biased.

by DC Trojan on May 1, 2008 12:36 PM EDT reply actions

one time in college a dude got thrown out of a party at my apartment for trying to fight everyone. obviously hopped up on some crazy drugs, he ran through my front door, headbutted one of my best friends in the nose, the fight spilled into the parking lot, and they left. my buddy had to report to basic training with a shiner from a headbutt.

all of this while i was at home for christmas break.

by gerry dorsey on May 1, 2008 12:40 PM EDT reply actions

Actually it seems Alan Roof not only head butted the bouncer at the party, but he hit one guy in the face hard enough to knock him out and break some bones. He also slammed another guys head into the sharp side of a stop sign. This one is worth way more than one point.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/cougars/361161_roof30.html?source=rss

by Theskipster on May 1, 2008 12:50 PM EDT reply actions

It looked nothing like any of the scenes below.

I bet it looked something like Terry Tate flying in there at the end of that reel.

by The General on May 1, 2008 12:54 PM EDT reply actions

i’m not really a soccer fan, but i am enough of a good [bad] photoshop fan that that could be the funniest thing i have seen on youtube in quite some time…

Terry Tate was just icing on that slab of fantasticness cake…

by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on May 1, 2008 1:10 PM EDT reply actions

- the ol’ stop sign slam

a Pullman classic

by Pac10dude on May 1, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions

The funniness in that video did make me laugh a pretty good bit, so thanks for bringing that to my attention. Many favorite parts. Lots of creativity. The icing on that cake? When Neo of the Matrix is dodging Zidane. As the point of view spins around, who’s that in the background? Not the agent, the gosh damn Burger King. Where is your god now?

by Joshua on May 1, 2008 1:32 PM EDT reply actions

When speaking of daughters it is far better to be headbutters than headgivers.

by leNDmeabuck on May 1, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions

Sniper Kitty’s plans foiled again.

by Pac10dude on May 1, 2008 2:06 PM EDT reply actions

- ain’t that the truth? Especially considering they’re both under the age of 6. We’re not Austrians or Belgians here.

by DC Trojan on May 1, 2008 2:22 PM EDT reply actions

WTF is an “orc”?

by Holly on May 1, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions

Holly @ #13…I thought an orc was a large, clumsy, evil denizen of Middle Earth as described by Tolkein…giver of hell to hobbits, et al….I may be mistaken…

by sb on May 1, 2008 2:58 PM EDT reply actions