OH, DONNA SHALALA, IT IS ON.

awesomeness.

[jaw, floor.]

why do I have a craving for a Happy Meal?

I need a tattoo of that.

Of course, UM does admit Willie Williams under Donna’s enthusiastic watch. And that worked out so well.

George Steinbrenner was Shalala’s youth softball coach. ’Nuff said.

The wrath that is Bernie Machen will now cast his eyes upon Mordor Miami

fear not Orson,

if need be, tim-may will ask jesus to give UF a little boost in the rankings. they’re tight like that.

I dont get what you re so upset about Orson…. Donna was and always will be a no talent ass clown who has done nothing for Miami

Academic smack talk is a waste of time. It’s not as bad as using it as an excuse for losing games (we can’t get the best recruits because of our rigorous academic standards), but still bad.

I wish UF would play UM every year. Both the home and away games would be like home games for UF. There’s going to be alot more UF fans in Joe Robbie Stadium (it will always be JRS to me, he paid for it after all).

Wow, the world is indeed flat. We are now allowing south floridians to be educated. How did is come to this?

No longer will I be able to profit from pimping at a 5th grade level and my current “ho” cost structure is now obsolete. Curse you Globalization!!!!

Outstanding post. Shalala is crazy like a fox, though. I work at Clemson, which takes these rankings very seriously, and has been focused for several years on becoming a top 20 public university. The rankings themselves are silly, and something of a popularity contest, but for the measurable things they count, the top 20 push has had a positive impact on class size, and stuff like that. It is, also, an easy way to get alums to pay attention / give money, especially at a school where sports are big — saying we passed Va. Tech and MSU, and have Purdue and U Conn in our sights is an easy way to motivate giving. That said, whatever value the rankings have goes out the window when you compare incommensurable institutions. Private, urban schools like Miami have a place, as do flagship state universities like UF, but they have different missions and constituencies, so it’s hard to conceive of a useful way to compare them. Just about everyone in higher education concedes that the rankings are specious, but they continue to be a big deal.
Here’s a link — MIT is one better than Duke!
http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/usnews/edu/college/rankings/brief/t1natudoc_brief.php

As my cutie-pie, blonde-bobbed, junior league, best ex-babe would say sotto voce… “damn bitch”.

Seemed to fit, although my first inclination was dramatically more coarse and descriptive.

dude, I just took a shalala – and it ranked in the top 50…..seriously, she looks like a jim henson creation.

Where’s Lamar Thomas in all this?

Shalala has done great things for Miami….like taking them to the All Crook Conference where they belong.

She’s just upset that the Irons brothers didn’t matriculate there along with their midget.

Somebody find that Cougar a FuckLion, STAT!

Well said Mr. Swindle. As to the peanut gallery:

I find it hillarious that Gator fan says “we will easily have more fans at JRS/OB than Miami” and then when that is exposed as the rediculous notion that it is they retort with “well whatever, I dont want to come down to that hellhole anyways with your crack dealers and minorities and such.” Talking with Gator Fan is always a good time.

You clowns want absolutely no part of us in Dade County. You know as well as we do that the ’wagon gets extra special jacked up to welcome Gator Fan to town.

Im looking forward to the inevitable conversation in 2011 after Foley demands 50,000 seats in JRS or he is backing out of the home and home, which coincidentally should occur at roughly the same time we become competitive again. Gator fan sure does have some hillarious explanations for why they dont want to play their oldest rival every year. All I know is that we would gladly hemorrage money from our athleti department for the sheer joy of whooping Gator tail every year.

Me and the rest of the ’wagon will see you in Hogtown soon enough.

It’s funny because that made so much sense.

The solution to this diminutive didactic duel is patent: UF needs to “one-under” UM and hire Robert Reich, fellow Clintonian cabin-hobbit and bearded labor-loving scalawag. Reich can dwarf-wrestle Shalala after UF’s razing of the ’Canes and then go all 7th Floor Crew on her ass, dismounting with a South Beach Steamer. US News and World, what?

#21-

After that description, I need a quart of eye bleach.

if you have a recruit… and i have a recruit… and i have a cellphone that can text all the way to your recruit. I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE… I DRINK IT UP!

FUCK UM

http://youtube.com/watch?v=URjeS5-NaXY

@21

Cock of ages, Unfortunately I have a vivid imagination. Sometimes pleasurable, sometimes a curse. Whatever.

If you identify yourself prior to the UGA/SC game….mohitos are on me. I promise not to pee on your car or grandmother.

With the budget cuts, Miami will probably surpass Florida by the time the game comes around. However, I do think it’s pretty funny that a private university the size of Santa Fe Community College is currently ranked lower academically than the second largest university in the United States.

NOLA @ #19…uh, our oldest rival would be Georgia, not scUM…just like a scUMmer to overestimate their level of importance to the University of Florida…I won’t even go into the spelling smack.

@24

It’s a deal, hungus. I would not recommend the urine thing in Cola, as I have some experience with the former scenario you describe and the PoPo there while, ahem, a law student at USC. Field trip, M-Fers!

@27

Cock of ages, I lifted this from a Gamecock site last year. Whoever did it has as much talent as LSUFreek.

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/7759/cockfireugahifg8ew6.jpg

You misspelled bureaucra-bitch.

Signed, Notre Dame.