Because you needed to understand no money man can win my love. It’s Wednesday, and you’re looking good in every way.

Don’t you get fresh with me. Now, the rest of the Curious Index.

Rudy Carpenter is having surgery on his thumb.It is the offseason because we are discussing minor surgery set to take place today on Rudy Carpenter’s thumb. This is how you know this. Cap’n Dennis doesn’t seem worried, and neither does anyone else, since it’s all very manageable and nothing at all to worry about, unlike ASU’s impending matchup with Georgia, which is something to worry about. Remember: Rennie Curran swam all the way from Liberia to kick your ass.

Durr! You got it all figured out! [NAME REDACTED] goes public with what everyone suspected anyway, since he’s now a head coach and is trying to prove to everyone how brainy he is.

“Because operator/writers for Internet sites, such as Rivals.com and Scout.com, are the only ones who have unregulated access to recruits when coaches can’t talk to them, it’s an area that’s ripe for corruption.

We hate it when this happens. Next, he’s wearing glasses and reading the Economist, and talking to you about this great article he read on the Congo in Foreign Policy,, and wondering what happened to the original energy that sparked the Dogma 95 movement, and getting the facts all wrong the whole time. (”So, just imagine the balance of power if Italy hadn’t run their colonies in Southeast Asia into the ground in that war with the Japanese!”) Dude, just stay dumb. We loved you that way.

Oh. One moment, please:

Accuracy remains a concern for Williams despite significant improvement from his freshman to sophomore year. He threw only one more touchdown (13) than interception in 2007 and ranked last in the Big Ten in passing efficiency (119.2).

Similar stats won’t cut it this fall, especially after the loss of superstar running back Rashard Mendenhall. Accordingly, Williams is being held to a higher standard.

“I don’t see why he can’t be a 70 percent passer,” Zook said.

Because Juice Williams with Rashard Mendenhall ranked last in the Big Ten in efficiency, and he won’t have Mendenhall there this year? Whew! You had us there for a second, [NAME REDACTED.] There’s the old anvil with legs and a whistle we know and loved. Hated. Whatever.

The Trojans weakest spot: offensive line, according to the Daily Trojan. They only return one starter, but even the new guys know USC does a play-action rollout pass on every freakin’ first down they get. So they’ve got that going for ‘em.

It’s a tiny sample size of six schools, but the stadium with the smallest allotment of seats for students in what appears to be a 15 minute survey of six of the SEC’s stadiums? LSU, who only reserves 13 percent of the stadium for students. In case you wonder which school is most upside down on the small student body/huge stadium ratio, the answer is as you suspected: Alabama.

Aggie Fashion: This concerns me. Texas A&M isn’t where we’d look for fashion advice (and we need it, since we’re stuck in the “Any outfit topped with a brown velvet jacket=liquid sex” look.) And judging from this advice, we’ll continue that policy.

To avoid being late to class, forget fixing your hair – just top off your outfit with a unique hat.

As bad as this advice may sound, it works gangbusters for Swedish soccer fans.


Ja, Svedka!