FULMER CUPDATE: BUSTED TROJAN EDITION
by Orson on Apr 22, 2008 2:12 PM EDT
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PrintNot USC: no, this would be the Trojans of Troy University, whose kicker Sam Glusman demonstrated his powerful leg by kicking in a door and breaking into a house in Troy, Alabama. Glusman picked up a first-degree burglary charge, resisting arrest (STOP RESISTING!) and public intoxication. On looking at that, public intoxication may not the largest score in five point total awarded to Troy for the incident, but its importance as a key variable in this situation probably can't be overstated. (Three for felony burglary, one each for the misdemeanors.)
In Oxford this past weekend, Allen Walker attempted to drive a car while drunk. He claimed it was an artistic triumph, but local art critics/law enforcement officials cited his poor composition, lack of control of the piece, and it being totally and completely illegal to do that shit. Three points for Ole Miss in the Fulmer Cup, showing Houston Nutt already has them competing all over the place.
And at last, the Sunshine State makes its big debut in the Copa with the arrest of Florida State's Preston Parker on what appears to be the Hip Hop Lifestyle Package deal: weed and guns. Four points for the moment for Florida State, who shows a spark of NFL talent on their roster by getting an NFL style charge on their record for '08.
FSU beats Florida to the "first weed-related arrest for a Florida school" award. Congrats.
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From the Palm Beach Post:
According to the arrest report, an officer spotted Parker’s red Dodge Charger with dark tinted windows in the parking lot of the Inns of America hotel in Palm Beach Gardens at 10:40 p.m. Monday. The officer followed the vehicle, which sped out of the lot and pulled into street parking a few blocks away with the lights off. The officer approached the driver because the windows were too dark and noticed the smell of marijuana. Parker said he was planning to meet up with a friend’s uncle on Blue Heron Boulevard, even though he was driving in the opposite direction. Parker said he pulled into the residential parking spot because he saw the patrol car. The officer saw pieces of marijuana on the floorboard. He searched the vehicle and found a pill bottle for prednisone prescribed to Parker that also contained marijuana.
Under the dash of the right passenger side of the vehicle, the officer found a loaded .45-caliber handgun and a baggie with 4.8 grams of marijuana.
Parker told police a friend bought him the gun at a gun show, but he said he was not aware there was marijuana in the vehicle. There were three passengers in his vehicle. All told police they did not know about the gun or drugs.
by hobeg8r on Apr 22, 2008 2:36 PM EDT reply actions
that’s really a shame, seeing as though Preston Parker was pretty much the Noles’ only effective offensive player last year.
by rjsplow on Apr 22, 2008 2:58 PM EDT reply actions
Since when does the Hip Hop Lifestyle Package deal exclude big-booty-hos?
Kids these days…I can’t keep up anymore. Time for me to go hump-wit-it.
by Aerobab on Apr 22, 2008 3:21 PM EDT reply actions
getting the trainwrecks outta the way before the show, eh orson?
by kleph on Apr 22, 2008 3:26 PM EDT reply actions
Wouldnt a 9mm be more representative of the weed life style?
A .45 is more like Granddad-brought-it-home-from-the-war life style, isnt it?
by BennyBeav on Apr 22, 2008 3:43 PM EDT reply actions
I like stoned chicks…especially those whose hand/mouth proximity and relationship are so well illustrated…
by sb on Apr 22, 2008 3:46 PM EDT reply actions
Lokk at this kid…
http://www.troytrojans.com/ViewArticle.dbml?ATCLID=1065158&SPSID=87291&SPID=10377&DB_OEM_ID=17200
He looks like a 14 year old.
His parents just must be shaking their heads thinking where the he&% did we go wrong??
by blon57 on Apr 22, 2008 3:56 PM EDT reply actions
This is the last week of the 1st half of the Fulmer Cup. Looks like some have the two minute offense going trying to score before the end of the month/half.
by Crabapple Buck on Apr 22, 2008 3:56 PM EDT reply actions
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
What are those flashing blue lights?
And you may tell yourself
That is not my beautiful bag of weed!
And you may tell yourself
That is not my beautiful handgun!
F$U – Same as it ever was…
Sounds like someone’s got the feared “Stadium Steps” punishment coming his way.
by NativeSon on Apr 22, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions
That Public Intox citation is what you call a “Critical X” in Six Sigma Speak
Work is taking forever today.
by CincySooner on Apr 22, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions
This is your fault Orson. FSU was doing so good, but you had to go and fuck it up this morning.
Normally I’d go cry now, but I’m so well adjusted now to the smell of FSU’s suck that it doesn’t really bother me anymore. :(
by Klak on Apr 22, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions
NativeSon – Standing O, my friend, standing O.
by Out of Conference on Apr 22, 2008 4:27 PM EDT reply actions
I wonder how many seconds Parker will get suspended.
by This Guy on Apr 22, 2008 6:35 PM EDT reply actions
I live next door to Glusman. It was a 21st birthday celebration gone bad.
by T-Roy on Apr 22, 2008 6:44 PM EDT reply actions
What is amazing is, I thought weed was legal if it was in a prescription bottle with your name on it? No? What if you had a ’script for weed cause ya gots glaucoma?
No? Man you would think being a football player, you would leave your weed at the house, and dont carry a gun, get a Tazer, major laugh factor and the people you shoot wont die as quickly…. and if a friend is gonna buy you a gun, have him get the gift that keeps on giving, an AK-47….And I am sure Glusman was kicking in that door because someone had his Bible, which had his weed in it…….try smoking weed, then reading Revelations, man…..Caddyshacks Carl Spackler would envy that doobie
by Mr Pelican Pants on Apr 22, 2008 7:57 PM EDT reply actions
Just a little ciga-weed…. I hope this diversion doesn’t keep him from his studies.
by Sean on Apr 22, 2008 8:08 PM EDT reply actions
#16
I’ve found Six Sigma is a lot like Scientology. If you don’t buy in completely, it’s just a preposterous load of horseshit.
by Mo Claretts' cellmate on Apr 22, 2008 11:29 PM EDT reply actions
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