2. What is your career-ending injury?
Non-injury health condition (i.e. getting knocked up)

3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched?
SMU v. Baylor in 1991 or 1992 (I can’t remember for sure, I’ve blocked it out). Baylor ran it up the middle. On. Every. Play. I am not kidding. There were no passing attempts the entire game, and we still couldn’t stop them.

4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
You mean besides SMU? How about the Kansas City Royals.

2. What is your career-ending injury?
Blown knee. I have a hard enough time with it as it is.

3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched?
Last year’s Sugar Bowl. The part that made me feel worst about it was that the media’s drive to get people to even watch the game made Hawaii think they could actually win.

4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
I was going to go with the Sega Saturn but #32 made me change my find. Republican Party. Final answer.

1b) Off-the-field: Charles Thompson – his arrest was the harbinger of the Dark Ages to come.

2) Rage Virus

3) Chris Simms vs. Oklahoma
His career stat line over 3 years against OU?
47-91 for 417 yards, zero TD, 8 INT (2 for TD)
21 rushes for minus 57 yards, 2 rushing TDs
I guess he broke even on touchdowns though

4) The triple option

3. Ohio State vs. Florida- By halftime, I was wishing they could have just Kentucky another shot at the Gators.

4. South Carolina football- Even when things are going well, you feel like the Sword of Damocles is constantly overhead.

I’m sure you mean the 2003 edition. OU 77 – A&M 0

You guys won the 2002 game, knocking OU out of the title hunt.

2. Infected ingrown toe-nail.

3. Ohio State vs. Michigan in 1995, Tim Biakabatuka ruined my childhood. Or, Ohio State vs. Florida in 2007, just a disaster, beginning with Ginn’s injury.

4. America, thanks to GWB.

2. Ruptured Achilles tendon

3. South Carolina v. Florida…the infamous Blackout game from 2001.

4. Gas guzzling SUV’s

2) A thousand very small cuts.

3) In person: ‘07 UT vs. UF. Someone call the cops, I just saw a rape! On TV: The Fiasco Bowl. Tears…unending pain…

4) Two things: 1) Soccer. All of it. Don’t care how good it is. MLS, EPL whatever. Just give it to me.
2) The city of Los Angeles. So self-absorbed, so huge, so maniacal….I sit around all day and try to dream up excuses to go out to the land of fake boobs and no humidity*.

* – Distinguishes it from Miami.

2. the beer/pot combo – it pretty much ended my young, ill-fated high school athletic careers in foobaw and basketball…but then again, my golf game improved dramatically

3. usc over ou in the 05 orange bowl – i still get chills down my spine thinking of how the doom blew in over the field once that punt was muffed – to make myself feel better, i’ll give an honorable mention to OU/tx 2000 and 2004, b/c texas is just plain pathetic

4. barry switzer – so what if his players were shooting uzi’s out their dorm windows and selling kilos to feds while barry was taking turns blowing lines off the bare asses of cheerleaders and his assistant coach’s wives…he hung half a hunnerd on ‘em! and he’s still the king, baby! whoo!

2. Losing interest and settling into cushy TV work, a la Robert Smith (but NOT like Tiki Barber, who’s a prick)

3. Both teams doomed? 2005 FSU vs. Miami, which ended 10-7 after a suckfest provided by first-year starters Drew Weatherford and Kyle Wright. One team but not the other? Florida’s 62-0 win over Western Carolina where the only thing that kept the Gators from scoring was the end of each half.

4. The Ron Paul for President campaign

2. Massive, acute myocardial infarction should I ever try to sprint farther than the distance from my couch to the john (during commercials). BTW, being able to pause live TV has really cut down on my conditioning.

3. Bama vs. anyone in a tight game with a Mike Shula-coached fourth quarter coming up.

4. The pharmaceutical industry and its legion of 6′ tall viking goddesses pushing product.

2. Broke my ankle senior year after a long night of drinking. I have zero idea how.

3. Fog Bowl

4. The Philadelphia Eagles