EDSBS LIVE: MT. DOOM EDITION
EDSBS Live is on tonight, and our theme is: Doom. Cue the return of four questions!
Tonight’s show, live from Mt. Doom.
1. What player spelled doom for your team? From our perpective, no name filled us with dread more than the words “Starting quarterback…Doug Johnson.”
2. What is your career-ending injury? Ours would be a spectacular compound fracture of the tibia, like Joe Theismann, but not as side-splittingly funny.
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched? Nebraska versus Kansas, 1997. Ice storms. Flags flying stiff in the breeze. Temperature something like nine thousand below zero. It looked like they were playing football on Hoth, and the Huskers were playing the part of the AT-AT.
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself. The entire city of Miami. It’s going underwater in a hundred years, everyone hates everyone else, the primary product of the economy is dodging one form of government accounting or another, and parts of it are Port-au-Prince destitute and twice as dangerous.
And yet:
Doomed, and lovely.
See you at 9 tonight.
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1
1. To go more recent, Kestahn Moore, or as Florida’s PA guys says: “Kestahn Moore fumbles, recovered by…”
2. Pulled groin.
3. Florida vs. Miami. We can’t beat them. This is because we’ve ducked them for so long, and the football gods are making the Gators pay for it.
4. The National Hockey League. No one watches it on TV, even me. But when I pay $30 for a $120 ticket secondhand, it’s such a fun game to watch in person.
Comment by Seven Years in Gainesville — April 22, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
2
1) Drew Henson. Prick.
2) Turning 30
3) 1995 Michigan v. Purdue. Final score - 5 to 3. Coldest I have ever been while watching a football game, and I was born and raised in Michigan.
4) San Diego - I’ve always told myself that if it hasn’t fallen off into the ocean by the time I retire, I’m moving out there.
Comment by Anon — April 22, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
3
305 cuban-jew born and raised, homey…
there is no city in america that will love you back more if you love it than the MIA… why else havent trick daddy and the boss rick ross been arrested for anything recently…
most importantly, its the american capital of bunda…
Comment by chaimy — April 22, 2008 @ 4:36 pm
4
1. Brad Otten, fumbles in overtime agaisnt ASU in 1999, ASU returns for a TD in overtime wins by 10. The spread was 8.
2. Lacerated liver, saw this one at the X games a couple years ago. Liver is of course very resiliant, but a lacerated liver would cut into my alcohol consumption and we can’t have that.
3. USC over Arkansas 2005.
4. The Cocaine, stripper, gambling trifecta
Comment by MJRuffalo1 — April 22, 2008 @ 4:39 pm
5
1. Dennis Franchione. Does that count?
2. Tore the ligaments in my thumb. Could fold the thing back and touch below my wrist on the side of my arm..
3. 2002 Texas A&M vs. OU. OU came to that one with a vengence like nothing Mordor’s ever seen.
4. HGTV.
Comment by ThreenOut — April 22, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
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1. What player spelled doom for your team? john parker wilson. when he’s hot he’s hot when he’s not i’m pulling the bones from my feet with a pair of pliers.
2. What is your career-ending injury?personally? right now tendonitis of the iliopsoas is making a good run at ending my running career.
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched? North Carolina vs Oklahoma 1988. the tarheels opened their first game of what would prove to be a 1-10 season in chapel hill vs a very pissed off oklahoma still smarting from an orange bowl loss against miami that cost them the natl championship.
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself. vinyl records. i adore every glorious hiss crackle and pop of music played on shiny beautiful vinyl. steve jobs has ensured that the new world order has no place for it but they’ll have to pull my lp records from my cold dead hands.
Comment by kleph — April 22, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
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1. J.D. Booty
2. subplexing shoulder socket requiring a capsular shift… hurts like a biznatch and requires one year of physical therapy.
3. Stanford at USC cuz when our QB breaks a finger on his throwing hand, we leave him in the game. After the loss, we let him hit the Hollywood strip with his teammates, cuz the season’s over anyways.
4. Southern California (Orange County/LA). It’s basically Mexico now and will most likely become part of the great republic to the south by 2035. But the weather is sooooo nice and I’m half Mexican so things should be okay for me.
Comment by socalbryan — April 22, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
8
1. Casey Clausen. Holy shit.
2. “Contact your doctor if you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours…”
3. January of 1997 I believe it was. Nebraska vs. Florida. Ouch. Nothing to be ashamed of, Orson. I feel pretty sure that team could have beat half of the NFL that year.
4. New Orleans. No explanation necessary.
Comment by Vol — April 22, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
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1. What player spelled doom for your team?
Terry Dean(!!!)
2. What is your career-ending injury?
Bad Back
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched?
Phil Fulmer vs a Krispy Kreme.
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
Emmitt Smith(!!!) Please stop talking on TV Emmitt!!! You’re destroying my soul!!!
Comment by MrRedDevil — April 22, 2008 @ 5:06 pm
10
1. Tommie Frazier. Oh, you mean on our own team. The 2007 Florida Secondary.
2. Motorcycle. Leg. Pavement. Pieces.
3. See #1, the first answer.
4. My golf game.
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — April 22, 2008 @ 5:06 pm
11
1. Anthony Morelli
2. watching Anthony Morelli
3. Anthony Morelli vs. anyone over the age of 5
4. Kornheiser on MNF - how much worse can it get? I don’t know, but I’m excited!
Comment by still angry — April 22, 2008 @ 5:23 pm
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Orson, is there any way to listen to the show other than during the live broadcast? I used to listen on the “myliveshow” sidebar or through iTunes, neither of which have been working since you returned on Tuesdays.
Comment by Dubby — April 22, 2008 @ 5:26 pm
13
1. Ram Vela, human missile.
2. Being hit by a car. It happened not too long ago.
3. Colorado vs. Texas, 2005 Big XII Championship.
4. The Baconator.
Comment by Irish09 — April 22, 2008 @ 5:46 pm
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1. Clifford Jefferson (or any other #15 in ND’s backfield since Pat Terrell
2. Compartment syndrome….the injury from an injury
3. ND-LSU ‘97 Weedeater Bowl. Nothing like rematches in a rodeo stadium (sorry Tim Brando) with a holiday travelling party of about 300 people who want no part of being there. Spending Christmas in a casino in Bossier City was like combining Christmas Vacation with Vegas Vacation.
4. The Brewers…..no chance these young players will finish their careers in Milwaukee.
Comment by the beefy ghost of Prop Joe — April 22, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
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1. Ryan Pflugner(fuck!)
2.detatched testicles/I got married
3. Alabama vs FSU. 2007. Has a worse game of football(if that’s what you wish to call it) ever been played? I say no.
4. True hip hop. It really is dead.
Comment by SpookyJuice — April 22, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
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1. Jarret Brown. Yes, the backup QB for WVU. It was like Pat White was in his uniform…while already sitting on the sidelines! Runner up: Mike Teel’s thumb.
2. Requiring microfracture surgery on the knee after nearly destroying it to win the (a?) big game.
3. Rutgers @ Cincy in 2006. After that huge, Huge, HUUUUUGE win over Louisville, I knew the next game was going to be bad for Rutgers. A drop in emotional intensity was guaranteed. As many felt Rutgers could shake the BCS wholeheartedly, the then average Bearcats just about killed that thought dead to the tune of 30-11 and looked like super stars. From so high to so…blah. The Knights played like they did when Schiano first came to the Block R that night. So bad.
4. Fulham. I’m a member of FulhamUSA and all that; but if you can’t beat Derby County (college football equivalent = Duke), you don’t deserve to stay up. Considering last year’s lucky escape…well, perhaps they would be doomed. Still, I like the overall club, the Cottage, and Jimmy Bullard’s hair.
Comment by John F. — April 22, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
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Oh….and…..Coming live from (winces)Starkville, MS
SpookyJuice is ready to get his fucking EDSBS on cuz!
Comment by SpookyJuice — April 22, 2008 @ 6:02 pm
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1. What player spelled doom for your team? john parker wilson.I really shouldnt have to say anymore….he is the reason I installed a Chicken Wire Fence in front of the TV just like the Blues Brothers had when they performed “Rawhide” at Cowboy Bobs—-and by the third quarter of most games there are well over half a case of beer bottles broken from glancing off of it from frustration…..and I keep mumbling to myself the words “Im watching a mental midget…..”
2. What is your career-ending injury? Concussions….4 of them…..from football and bar fights, beer bottles and the combination of both……. in Tuscaloosa….which is about par for the course in 1998, before it became popular to tussle with Tuscaloosa PD for fun…and it is true, no matter who starts it, the one the police see throw the last punch gets in trouble……..so make it count….and if you are gonna wrangle with the police, wear a helmet.
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched? Alabama vs Miami in 1992…..in New Orleans….Miami fans-say what you will about Bama fans, but I am positive the Miami team and its fans were its on doom from all the smack they talked in the French Quarter@ Bama fans and the team itself when they walked on Bourbon Street, plus the fact we have about five or six First Round Draft Picks on the defensive side of the ball and a crazy ass Def Coordinator who blitzed them once they got off the bus, and they had the most overrated QB to win the Heisman ever, once we put 11 guys on the line on Def and saw the fear in Torretta’s eyes, it was over…….plus watching Lamar Thomas talk shit, then get hawked down after having a full stride 30 yrd head start..priceless
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
I think once Nick Saban gets his SEC Championship or even a National Title shot, I’m pretty sure he is done at the Capstone, unless they give him the AD spot, then he will rule T-Town with an Iron Fist……and take over the world……..
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — April 22, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
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1. Reggie Ball.
2. Shoulder impingement/tendonitis.
3. I was at the Alabama-Ole Miss Game in 1994 when the game was delayed due to lightning. I think Ole Miss was winning at that point and the Rebbah band played on through a wicked storm. The next day I read that a couple of people on the sideline had been electrocuted a little bit.
4. The idea of Succubi always appealed to me.
Comment by sonofsamford — April 22, 2008 @ 6:32 pm
20
1. Daniel Cobb
2. Spontaneous combustion
3. How about USC/Oklahoma 2004 MNC game? USC even let OU score first, and then just throttled the most overrated BCS regular there is.
4. Auburn football. It’s doomed because Nick Saban is running this shit, right? I think I heard that somewhere.
Comment by WarCardinals — April 22, 2008 @ 6:51 pm
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1. Back in the day, Todd McCullough play SLB for UF. He’s my dark horse candidate for the Reggie Ball Worst Multiyear Starter Trophy.
2. Decapitation by Rey Maualuga
3. 2006 ACC Championship game. There was zero way Tech should have lost to Wake Forest as long as Calvin Johnson showed up. CJ showed up, but the Deacs proved TAH-NOO-TAH(!!!) to be a man of superior fortune telling abilities, fulfilling his prediction from earlier in the week that the Jackets would win “if they scored 10 points.” GT lost 9-6 in quite possibly the ugliest game of the modern era.
4. The NHL
Comment by Dr. William S. McPimpslap, M.D. — April 22, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
22
1) ASU fans almost exclusively hold this spot for Courtney Jackson, who was supposed to be covering David Boston in the 1997 Rose Bowl(you’re welcome gators!), but I’m going old school: the punter who cried foul after being punched by Frank Kush. Coach Kush punched lots of people but this ninny was the first to ever complain about it, costing the hall of famer his job. I saw the man in December- he’s fit as a fiddle and would probably still be coaching right now, and ASU would have never hired someone so undeserving of such an awesome name, one Dirk Koetter.
2) I’d go pro and get shot in the opening sequence of The Last Boy Scout.
3) ASU at USC, 2004. Both teams were 5-0 going in, I think the halftime score was 49-7. Reggie Bush rushed, passed and returned a kick for touchdowns. I had front row seats in the Coliseum that day. Thank God they served beer there.
4) Three words: Chicago. Cubs. Baseball.
Comment by Big Jon — April 22, 2008 @ 7:14 pm
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1) Wondy Pierre-Louis et. al. (aka 2007 UF Secondary) My new pavlovian response to an opposing QB dropping back is to simultaneously swear, chug whiskey, and cover my eyes.
2) Streaking related concussion.
3) Florida - Tennessee 1995. It seemed as if Moses was tailgating outside the stadium.
4) My waistline.
Comment by RanchyBalls — April 22, 2008 @ 7:38 pm
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1) Asad Abdul Khaliq. Reggie Ball before there was Reggie Ball.
2) Numerous caused by car accident, including a ruptured spleen. Who needs a spleen, anyway? Not Christopher Moltisanti or myself, that’s for sure.
3) Glen Mason vs. Good Teams. It was like a ten year long car wreck.
4) Minnesota Football. Doooooooomed since 1968.
Comment by WhiteSpeedReceiver — April 22, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
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1. This was a tough choice between Kirk Herbstriet (who was John Cooper’s first recruit), Stanley Jackson who was bailed out by Joe Germaine numerous times, and Steve Bellasari, who as a QB made a great safety.
2. Bone spurs resulting in torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders.
3. tOSU vs. Iowa 2004. The only good thing about that game is that Troy Smith became the starting QB.
4. My VCR. I haven’t bought a DVR yet, but I know the day is coming.
Comment by Crabapple Buck — April 22, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
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Uh, it’s 9 p.m. Where the hell is the show?
Comment by Harris — April 22, 2008 @ 8:06 pm
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1. What player spelled doom for your team?
Uh…Reggie Ball
2. What is your career-ending injury? Compund SPIRAL fracture for me, though it was not career-ending, NAY merely season ending.
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched?
Duke v Anyone
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
My youth.
Comment by Brian — April 22, 2008 @ 10:26 pm
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1. Going back a few years, Danny Woodson. He didn’t even know where he was going with the ball.
2. Scored a TD on the last play of my career, but I tore a muscle away from my pelvic bone in the process.
3. a) Steve Beurlein vs. Cornelius Bennett
b) Tennessee’s secondary vs. DJ Hall
4. Alabama basketball under Mark Gottfried for another year.
Comment by crimson daddy — April 23, 2008 @ 12:12 am
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#22, ASU scored three points in the half, as I recall. We scored 6 all game. No touchdowns, for sure. I cried into my girlfriend’s shoulder and I am not ashamed.
Comment by Erik — April 23, 2008 @ 12:15 am
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1) Anthony Morelli
2) “Last Boy Scout”- style: I catch the ball, dodge a couple of defenders, when it looks like I’ll be stopped, I pull a gun out of my pants and shoot the remaining defenders. When I reach the end zone, I take off my helmet, say “Ain’t life a bitch” and then shoot myself in the head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVrsGHs2MCk (Featuring an appearance by Uncle Verne)
3) As PB said, the 2005 Big 12 Championship. My morbid curiosity kept me glued to this game.
4) The City of Philadelphia: Declining population, high murder rate. But I still think of it as the greatest city in America.
Comment by John — April 23, 2008 @ 1:59 am
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1. Illinois had a qb named Jason Verdusco - imagine a 5 foot 8 inch Anthony Morelli.
2. First my left pinkie (dislocated/acted like a total baby right in front of my head coach), then my right shoulder from my one and only time surfing.
3. The only bad time I ever had at Camp Randall: a Jason Verdusco-led Illini lost to Wisconsin by a score of 2-1 if memory serves. Sometime in November and I sat at about Row 904 in the end zone.
4. “The Cubbies are coming, tra la, tra la.”
Comment by joe martin — April 23, 2008 @ 2:54 am
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1. Jay Paterno. Somehow made the PSU squad in the late 80s as a backup QB. Wonder how that happened?
2. Severe whiplash from watching Barry Sanders run by me.
3. Sorry, but…Nebraska v. Florida in 1996. I think Tommie Frazier just ran another one in…
4. The Republican Party…
Comment by immikfefazz — April 23, 2008 @ 7:09 am
33
1. Ryan Ohliger. That fucking diamond-earringed douche. Alternatively, Quinton Porter.
2. Broke my ankle senior year after a long night of drinking. I have zero idea how.
3. Fog Bowl
4. The Philadelphia Eagles
Comment by Alex F. — April 23, 2008 @ 7:11 am
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Actually, I’ll change #3–I’ll go with watching BC-Buffalo in a driving monsoon on ESPN 360.
Comment by Alex F. — April 23, 2008 @ 7:12 am
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1. Kecalf Bailey, “cornerback” and superstar-maker. In his defense, it did seem like he lined up across from a future all-pro every down…
2. Massive, acute myocardial infarction should I ever try to sprint farther than the distance from my couch to the john (during commercials). BTW, being able to pause live TV has really cut down on my conditioning.
3. Bama vs. anyone in a tight game with a Mike Shula-coached fourth quarter coming up.
4. The pharmaceutical industry and its legion of 6′ tall viking goddesses pushing product.
Comment by hawkeye — April 23, 2008 @ 7:42 am
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1. Corey Bailey - he was the ‘07 Florida secondary back in the [REDACTED] years.
2. Losing interest and settling into cushy TV work, a la Robert Smith (but NOT like Tiki Barber, who’s a prick)
3. Both teams doomed? 2005 FSU vs. Miami, which ended 10-7 after a suckfest provided by first-year starters Drew Weatherford and Kyle Wright. One team but not the other? Florida’s 62-0 win over Western Carolina where the only thing that kept the Gators from scoring was the end of each half.
4. The Ron Paul for President campaign
Comment by Dave — April 23, 2008 @ 8:04 am
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1. why, who else? http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q250/FrontLobo/si%20jinx%20cover/oklahoma1989.jpg
honorable mention to rhett bomar
2. the beer/pot combo - it pretty much ended my young, ill-fated high school athletic careers in foobaw and basketball…but then again, my golf game improved dramatically
3. usc over ou in the 05 orange bowl - i still get chills down my spine thinking of how the doom blew in over the field once that punt was muffed - to make myself feel better, i’ll give an honorable mention to OU/tx 2000 and 2004, b/c texas is just plain pathetic
4. barry switzer - so what if his players were shooting uzi’s out their dorm windows and selling kilos to feds while barry was taking turns blowing lines off the bare asses of cheerleaders and his assistant coach’s wives…he hung half a hunnerd on ‘em! and he’s still the king, baby! whoo!
Comment by okiedomer — April 23, 2008 @ 8:23 am
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1) Cory Bailey. He made the ‘07 Gator secondary look like 4 RFN’s.
2) A thousand very small cuts.
3) In person: ‘07 UT vs. UF. Someone call the cops, I just saw a rape! On TV: The Fiasco Bowl. Tears…unending pain…
4) Two things: 1) Soccer. All of it. Don’t care how good it is. MLS, EPL whatever. Just give it to me.
2) The city of Los Angeles. So self-absorbed, so huge, so maniacal….I sit around all day and try to dream up excuses to go out to the land of fake boobs and no humidity*.
* - Distinguishes it from Miami.
Comment by cobian — April 23, 2008 @ 8:32 am
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dudes….is the chick at 50 seconds topless?
b/c try as might (and i’ve tried repeatedly) my computer will not make it look like she has a top on.
then again, that might be the way my computer works.
NSFW all night and all day.
Comment by dawgaddict — April 23, 2008 @ 8:51 am
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1. Blake Mitchell. Even when he was on, you knew it wouldn’t last.
2. Ruptured Achilles tendon
3. South Carolina v. Florida…the infamous Blackout game from 2001.
4. Gas guzzling SUV’s
Comment by Stinky Pinky — April 23, 2008 @ 11:03 am
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1. Stanley Jackson — A true triple threat quarterback, he’d always manage to throw an untimely interception, inexplicably fumble, or take a bad sack. Why Cooper stubbornly insisted on his stupid two QB system, I’ll never know.
2. Infected ingrown toe-nail.
3. Ohio State vs. Michigan in 1995, Tim Biakabatuka ruined my childhood. Or, Ohio State vs. Florida in 2007, just a disaster, beginning with Ginn’s injury.
4. America, thanks to GWB.
Comment by Sir Ginho of the 216 — April 23, 2008 @ 11:12 am
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#5
I’m sure you mean the 2003 edition. OU 77 - A&M 0
You guys won the 2002 game, knocking OU out of the title hunt.
Comment by CincySooner — April 23, 2008 @ 11:38 am
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1. Anthony Wright- Best physical gifts of any QB in the program’s last 20 years, but made Blake Mitchell seem like a model of consistency.
3. Ohio State vs. Florida- By halftime, I was wishing they could have just Kentucky another shot at the Gators.
4. South Carolina football- Even when things are going well, you feel like the Sword of Damocles is constantly overhead.
Comment by Chg — April 23, 2008 @ 11:55 am
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1a) On-the-field: Eric Bassey - No one could blow a coverage like him. If they ever made Eric Bassey action figures he would come with his own gas can.
1b) Off-the-field: Charles Thompson - his arrest was the harbinger of the Dark Ages to come.
2) Rage Virus
3) Chris Simms vs. Oklahoma
His career stat line over 3 years against OU?
47-91 for 417 yards, zero TD, 8 INT (2 for TD)
21 rushes for minus 57 yards, 2 rushing TDs
I guess he broke even on touchdowns though
4) The triple option
Comment by CincySooner — April 23, 2008 @ 12:32 pm
45
1. Nate Longshore.
2. Tendinitis from pipetting too much. (No, seriously. It’s not funny. Stop laughing.)
3. Nate Longshore vs. Opposing Team.
4. The San Jose Sharks in the playoffs.
Comment by Bay Area Bear — April 23, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
46
1. What player spelled doom for your team?
Player? Since that disqualifies Ray Goff I’m going to go with Quincy Carter.
2. What is your career-ending injury?
Blown knee. I have a hard enough time with it as it is.
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched?
Last year’s Sugar Bowl. The part that made me feel worst about it was that the media’s drive to get people to even watch the game made Hawaii think they could actually win.
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
I was going to go with the Sega Saturn but #32 made me change my find. Republican Party. Final answer.
Comment by Dante — April 23, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
47
1. What player spelled doom for your team?
I enrolled at SMU in 1990. What player has not spelled doom for my team? If I must choose, I’ll go with LaDanian Tomlinson, since you’ve actually heard of him.
2. What is your career-ending injury?
Non-injury health condition (i.e. getting knocked up)
3. What is the most doomed matchup you’ve ever watched?
SMU v. Baylor in 1991 or 1992 (I can’t remember for sure, I’ve blocked it out). Baylor ran it up the middle. On. Every. Play. I am not kidding. There were no passing attempts the entire game, and we still couldn’t stop them.
4. Name a doomed thing you love despite yourself.
You mean besides SMU? How about the Kansas City Royals.
Comment by Diamond M — April 23, 2008 @ 5:34 pm