FULMER CUPDATE, 4/21/08: MIZZOU-MIN' INTO THE LEAD
Brian brings us this week's Cupdate, featuring an impressive defense and extension of Missouri's lead thanks to a weed arrest for the Tigers, who have brought the fiya this Fulmer Cup season. Explanations, bad math, and failed rhetorical backflips follow.

Not pictured on the board but making their debut: Boston College. BC doesn't make it onto the board, but with the arrest of defensive end Brady Smith for on-campus sexual assault (is that somehow worse than off-campus sexual assault?) and breaking and entering, the Eagles earn six points for the double felony charges. Even in their shame, Boston College fans would lie to point out that the six point score is more than the Notre Dame Irish scored against Georgia Tech last year in their opener.
Like Lance Armstrong in an EPO fit raging up the Alpe d'Huez, Missouri continues to pull away from the peloton with expert timing. Austin Wuebbels less than composed traffic stop fumbling earned the Tigers another 4 points this week, proving that when the competition gets close, the Tigers go to the no-huddle and being piling on points daring you to keep up.
Still missing: Florida? Miami? AND FSU? The Sunshine State's gone soft friends. Blame the kind and benevolent governance of our fabulous governor Charlie Crist, who's got the economy flaming despite the entire state taking it in the ass in the real estate market. They're all simply too happy and well-governed to get tasered! (Crossing fingers, looking at the Florida team and hoping everyone's got their gun locks in the fixed position on their assault rifles.)
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24 comments
Comments
Charlie Crist has the whole state flaming? And taking it in the ass? Is that irony, or coincidence?
by McGuffieRox on Apr 21, 2008 12:16 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Posted this Saturday, but the bunda must have been a distraction:
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080419/SPORTS030103/80419005
Yeah, Ole Miss, how’s that campus alcohol policy working out for ya?
by the croominator on Apr 21, 2008 12:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Pinkel, welcome to the Big Time.
Coach Fumer, Zook, and Paterno will be sending you a care package.
by ThreenOut on Apr 21, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Will Mizzou net more points in The Cup than they did against OU in the Big 12 Championship? DEVELOPING.
by WorstFan on Apr 21, 2008 12:41 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Bobby—
It’s figurative. Once a flea living on America’s Wang, always a flea living on America’s Wang.
by Orson Swindle on Apr 21, 2008 12:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
O – there’s a Trojan kicker who needs some FC love for drankin’, and a little first degree burglary.
by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 21, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Croominator,
He was stopped off campus. Also, CroomS’ players are the biggest thugs in the Magnolia State. You Moron and White puppies are so quick to say things like “Hardy-har-har Ole Miss players stole clocks and got DUI’s LOL” while completely ignoring the fact that a few of your players just got thrown off of the team for toting their fucking guns around campus.
Oh, and your best defender, Peagues, totally punched a cop that one time.
Glass houses, dawg… glass houses.
-TGoJC
by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Apr 21, 2008 1:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- has clearly missed the point of the Fulmer Cup chase.
by CincySooner on Apr 21, 2008 1:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
How many points will Illinois receive when the NCAA finds out Arrelious Benn has been obtaining his game-breaking abilities from a pre-game regimen of crystal meth and jimson weed sandwiches? I live in Champaign, see. I hear things.
by Tomaso on Apr 21, 2008 1:21 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Penn State and Oregon State tied for 8th.
Penn State v. Oregon State for the first time on September 6, 2008.
Coincidence? I think not…
by immikfefazz on Apr 21, 2008 1:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I think Mr. Smith misunderstood the young lady’s encouragement. When she said “You can do it. Put your back into it!”
He replied, “I can do it, put yo ASS into it!”
Not sure what is says about this chase when sexual assault, on campus or not, does not even get you on the big board.
by skinnyphatman on Apr 21, 2008 1:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
So what happened to Brian? Is he no longer hung like Reggie Fuckin" Nelson? Did he get bobbitized? Or is it simple shrinkage? Bored CFB fans want to know.
by Mr. Wrong on Apr 21, 2008 1:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Did I miss something or is Brian no longer hung like Reggie Fucking Nelson
by leNDmeabuck on Apr 21, 2008 1:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The story of my life. Always two minutes late.
by leNDmeabuck on Apr 21, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Very poor showing by the big ten up to this point. It’s clear that they don’t have the speed to rack up enough felonies to compete with powerhouses like the big 12.
Also, shouldn’t Georgia have something like 14 DUI’s by this point in the offseason?
by Aaron on Apr 21, 2008 3:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Um, Ghost, believe it or not but I’m actually a born and raised in Oxford, dyed-in-the-wool, bleeds red and blue Ole Miss fan. I just so happen to be employed by MSU, therefore I have somewhat of a rooting interest in the school that signs my paycheck. Also, quite frankly last year if I had to point at a man and proudly say “yep, that’s our coach!” it was much easier on the mind and heart to point at Coach Croom than The Orgeron. Oh, and I have been more than willing to post the follies and foibles of both Dawgs and Rebs in the FC, being a frequent viewer of the Clarion Ledger’s web site (mainly for Marshall Ramsey’s blog). Plus heck I just thought “the croominator” was a cool screen name.
And finally, Ghost, I don’t know what bug crawled up your butt this morning, but you really shouldn’t be so defensive. After all, Ole Miss properly disciplines its players when they break the law. Oh wait…
by the croominator on Apr 21, 2008 3:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
You know what, Ghost? Let’s just call bygones. After all, we can agree that both Ole Miss AND State do a better job disciplining players than LSU, who could have their own category in the FC Race…“The Ryan Perriloux Award of Special Distinction for Getting Away Clean.”
by the croominator on Apr 21, 2008 4:00 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That’s a mighty large chip on Mr. Cutler’s shoulder…
by lance harbor on Apr 21, 2008 4:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Croominator,
I am also quite critical of Ole Miss… hell I blog about the damn place so if you wanna see it go ahead.
It was just at first glance I saw your response and got a very typical/under-educated State fan response out of it. Yeah, yeah, it all makes sense now, bla bla bla, LSU sucks, yadda yadda yadda, we can all agree yay Mississippi let’s eat some catfish whoopidee doo…
I’m normally not this shitty… I just endured a layover in La Guardia so please, in your heart of hearts, forgive me.
by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Apr 21, 2008 5:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Forgiven…never been in La Guardia, but have experienced two hours on the tarmac at Reagan National, followed by near-endless circling of Columbia SC, then five different gate changes at Hartsfield-Jackson (I swear, whether I go to Heaven or Hell I’ll have to go through Atlanta first), topped off by flying into a still-being-renovated Tupelo Airport at midnight.
I feel your pain, brotha (said in a Desmond-in-Lost way).
by the croominator on Apr 21, 2008 5:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#17
There just hasn’t been time for drankin’ whilst choreagraphing the newest end-zone dancin’.
by DirkDawggler on Apr 22, 2008 8:55 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Too bad coaches (“borrowing” $27K) and school officials (misappropriating" $80M) can’t be used in the Cup, otherwise Clemson would have this wrapped up!
by Roller Girl on Apr 22, 2008 9:04 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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