HOUSTON NUTT'S DAUGHTER LOVES ZAC EFRON

by Orson on Apr 16, 2008 1:21 PM EDT

This is Haven Nutt, Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt's daughter. When you post something like this, you have to remind people that when you post something on the internet, or in any digital medium, really, it's public and out there, even if it's you drunk on camera (again) talking about your fondness for the drinks at gay bars, or doing the Needham Hex, or Most Definitely Not Looking Gay In Public At All. If you don't want it out there, don't put it up.

With that said, it's a totally innocuous and funny crush-vid made by a teenage girl about Zac Efron, and aside from some intentionally atrocious lyrics, it's a sign that Houston Nutt is doing everything right as a parent, and that Haven really, really likes Zac Efron. She likes Zac Efron, and would like him to take his shirt off before she rots.

And word for word, we feel the exact same way about Zac Efron I mean, Beyonce Knowles. Make her happy, Jay, you filthy rich bastard! (HT: Friends of the Program.)

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i’m scared…for all parties involved.

by gerry dorsey on Apr 16, 2008 1:34 PM EDT reply actions

by the way, this post should have had the “los chronicos” header.

by gerry dorsey on Apr 16, 2008 1:34 PM EDT reply actions

In my Google reader I’m seeing:

“This is Haven Nutt, Ole Miss coach Houston Nutts daughter. "

followed by a picture of Orson in a pink polo with the collar popped. This was intentional, right?

by Juan Miguel on Apr 16, 2008 1:45 PM EDT reply actions

#2
“Los Chronicos de Senor Rebel” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

by CincySooner on Apr 16, 2008 1:45 PM EDT reply actions

American idol talent there..

What is a Zac Efron?

by M on Apr 16, 2008 1:50 PM EDT reply actions

i somehow am comforted by the fact that my first question upon reading this was “zac efron? who the hell does he play for?”

of course a quck visit to wikipedia resolved the mystery for me. quickly reading through it one particular fact caught my attention… it seems mr. efron’s erswhile love interest can provide quite a bit of testimony in support of orson’s little theory here.

by kleph on Apr 16, 2008 1:50 PM EDT reply actions

There was a creepy guy on my dorm floor freshman year at UF named Haven; he stared at people weird, never spoke a word, and liked to listed to loud Japanese techno.

Which gender of a name is “Haven” anyway? Until 2003, I was under the impression that it wasn’t even a name anyway.

by Dave on Apr 16, 2008 1:58 PM EDT reply actions

There is a sex joke with her name that the boys will be using until the end of time, obviously.

You "Have"n her tonight? I was "Have"n her last night.

However, if you take it too far, as in, “you ’have’n Nutt, tonight?” it just sounds gay.

I have never understood why parents don’t think for 5 seconds before naming their children.

I am looking at you, mother of Craphonso Thorpe.

by Coop on Apr 16, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply actions

OMG!!! like, I’ve never heard of this cat before and then I look to the right and see a cartoon of this guy with his friends Justin, Pete, Brad & Mick & the best part is one these young hotties is my celebrity prom date!

Are you fucking kidding me with this?
It’s the gaying of EDSBS.

by Plastic Paddy on Apr 16, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

The kinky-haired kid at the piano is hopelessly in love with Haven. Against all odds, this didn’t send her swooning into his/her arms. (S)he still thinks (s)he likes Zac Efron, though, but only, like, as an artist.

by Hannibal Montegna on Apr 16, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions

Nice job on the keyboards by Sideshow Bob

by Unhappy Monkey on Apr 16, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions

Also: you’re right about Houston’s doing everything right as a parent, if only to the extent that no clothing was removed in the making of this clip. Haven also seems acutely cogniscent of, and intent on subtly subverting the dominant paradigm within, the mainstream of teen crush videos. As far as public embarrassments go, this is almost an endorsement of normalcy.

by Hannibal Montegna on Apr 16, 2008 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

This was a bit like a SNL sketch – amusing concept, should have stopped after 30 seconds. Impressive production quality though for the genre.

It looks rather like Ms Haven has dodged the “crazy as a sack of rabid weasels” genes from her father. Maybe being named “Haven” because her parents ran out of girls’ names that start with “H” after “Hailey” and “Hanna” is some kind of protective shield against the crazy juice.

If they had named her “Hilda,” she would have been singing “JAGGETY BAGGITY BILBO BAGGINS TAINTSLAP DOOGITY DINKEE HOOOAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO!!!” instead…

by DC Trojan on Apr 16, 2008 2:42 PM EDT reply actions

After watching the video on mute, I am not 100% convinced that this is not some sort of satirical bit.

The girl is 17. Isn’t senior or junior year of high school a bit old for this sort of thing?

I recall the New Kids on the Block popularity, and my sister was too old for them, and about the same age at the time.

I want to call shenanigans for her sake.

http://www.olemisssports.com/pdf5/98523.pdf?ATCLID=1327756&SPID=737&DB_OEM_ID=2600&SPSID=12785

by Coop on Apr 16, 2008 2:44 PM EDT reply actions

…wow, good for her…now everyone is aware of and has access to a permanent record of her adolescent adulation of a posterboy…hope this goes well for her…I wonder if she has the “tramp stamp” tattoo over her ass as well…both will play well with her eventual kids and grandkids…

by sb on Apr 16, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

What the hell kinda name is Zac?

by PW on Apr 16, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

I think it’s absolutely satirical Coop. She’s totally camping it up. And I think she’s probably as crazy as her dad, just a lot smarter.

by pfhokie on Apr 16, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

Wait, Zac Efron’s a dude?

by Doug on Apr 16, 2008 2:59 PM EDT reply actions

Wow…Before I opened that video, I expected her to be a lot younger. I mean, the Zac Efron/High School Musical age range is about 8-12. Disturbing.

(Not that I deny the guy’s pretty cute).

by SEC gal on Apr 16, 2008 3:10 PM EDT reply actions

A distinct difference should be noted here. If Houston Nutt takes offense to his daughter being paraded round the internets, he’ll just Orson with a spork.

If it was Peter King, he’s devote 4 paragraphs of sob story in his column, applaud the lasagna at The Olive Garden and wonder why “The Outfield” hasn’t made a comeback.

by Ryno on Apr 16, 2008 3:16 PM EDT reply actions