EXAMINE MY IMPECCABLE ORTHODONTURE!!!!

SI also fronts a rehashed story by Rick Bragg, who talks about how Nick Saban bought his momma a house, how good fried pies are, and other non-threatening cornpone truths wrapped around a story about the hard-drinking, no count bastard that was his daddy.

Oh, no, no, no, no. This makes our gorge rise just reading it: details from the death of Ereck Plancher, the UCF freshman who died suddenly following conditioning drills last month.

One of the four players who spoke with the Sentinel, a veteran, disagreed, saying: “It was the toughest workout since I’ve been here. It definitely was not a light workout…

“Everybody was struggling at times,” one player said. “. . . But he [Ereck] was running, and I could tell something wasn’t right. His eyes got real dark, and he was squinting like he was blinded by the sun. He was making this moaning noise, trying to breathe real hard…”

All four players recall that O’Leary said to Plancher, “That’s a bunch of [expletive] out of you, son,” in the huddle. O’Leary denied cursing at Plancher but recalled telling people around him, “He’s better than that…”

Plancher was noticeably woozy and staggering as he tried to participate in the final jumping-jacks drill, the players said. The team finished those exercises, then huddled one final time. Plancher collapsed while walking away from the huddle, the players said.

There’s tragedy of multiple brands and tastes here. There’s also a quantity sure to become all too abundant for Plancher’s family and UCF: thousands and thousands of billable hours for attorneys.

Corn Nation informs us that the playbook at Nebraska–the 820,992 page Callahan-era monster–is still the playbook, only with the option, a few changes in terminology, some tweaks in the blocking scheme, and curly fries thrown in. Yay, complexity and curly fries!

Terrelle Pryor, bring hell with you. Because Todd Boeckman won’t go without a fight. That’s right, THE Todd Boeckman! You bring the beef, lawya, bettah bring you best, because TB is contagious, and there ain’t no cure once you get him, homey.

JoePa has not contract, and everyone’s okay with that. Did Julius Caesar have a contract? No, and that worked out awesomely for him.