We are developing a serious Steely Dan problem. It’s all so sleazy, grand, and elegantly subversive! Today’s soundtrack for Blogtoberfest: “Doctor Wu.”

Joel has exclusive footage of John Chavis, Tennessee’s longtime defensive coordinator, high-stepping down the sidelines following an outstanding play by the Vol defense. Nessy is involved, but in our world, the Loch Ness monster is always involved.

Mississippi State, third-fattest university in the nation? Internet=truth, though we would point out as a rejoinder to Red Solo Cup’s observations that the numbers are from 2005, and perhaps a bit dated at this point. Three universities from Louisiana make the top three, though the University of New Orleans should be off the list after all that swimming. It’s the best exercise, you know.

Our tips on surviving the drought in college sports not named baseball are here at the SN. Actual discussion follows, including our favorite comment yet by a commenter on the SN:

Good attempt Spencer, but I find even reading your article is an unwanted distraction from my meditation on Rey Mauelugas’ hit on Todd Boeckman; the one where everyone is horrified because Rey has torn his head off. Nobody has seen that before on nationwide t. v. But then everybody is releived when they look over to the bench and see Todd holding his helmeted head in his lap with one hand and a cup of Gatorade in the other.

So you turn to the guy next to you and shrug and say, “That’s college football.” And he high-fives you back. “Damn right it is.”

Now, if you don’t mind Spencer, I’m going to return to the lawn bowling on Mars channel.

Medication allows people like this man to participate in society. God Bless you, Merck; Buddha approves, Bristol-Myers-Squibb.

OH: The Sporting Blog lives. Now with actual blog-esque looks! And bugs, too, but that’s rolling rollout for you.

Earl Campbell’s Heisman is sitting in an airport breakfast bar. Life is humbling to an unfair degree: first, massive health problems; second, thousands of lumpenfolk eating their eggs staring at the Heisman purchased with his kneecaps and a hundred concussions (mostly other people’s, of course.)

Ryan Perrilloux is Britney Spears. Or something like that.

SMQ offers sterling premature assessments of both Kentucky and USC. Hey, remember that USC plays Ohio State in the third week of the season? Your productivity is done for the day. You’re welcome.

The most read college football blog? It ain’t this one: Brian’s riding Dickrod Fever to the top spot in the offseason.