BLOGTOBERFEST: HEY, LOOK, STUFF!

by Orson on Apr 10, 2008 2:17 PM EDT

We are developing a serious Steely Dan problem. It's all so sleazy, grand, and elegantly subversive! Today's soundtrack for Blogtoberfest: "Doctor Wu."

Joel has exclusive footage of John Chavis, Tennessee's longtime defensive coordinator, high-stepping down the sidelines following an outstanding play by the Vol defense. Nessy is involved, but in our world, the Loch Ness monster is always involved.

Mississippi State, third-fattest university in the nation? Internet=truth, though we would point out as a rejoinder to Red Solo Cup's observations that the numbers are from 2005, and perhaps a bit dated at this point. Three universities from Louisiana make the top three, though the University of New Orleans should be off the list after all that swimming. It's the best exercise, you know.

Our tips on surviving the drought in college sports not named baseball are here at the SN. Actual discussion follows, including our favorite comment yet by a commenter on the SN:

Good attempt Spencer, but I find even reading your article is an unwanted distraction from my meditation on Rey Mauelugas' hit on Todd Boeckman; the one where everyone is horrified because Rey has torn his head off. Nobody has seen that before on nationwide t. v. But then everybody is releived when they look over to the bench and see Todd holding his helmeted head in his lap with one hand and a cup of Gatorade in the other.

So you turn to the guy next to you and shrug and say, "That's college football." And he high-fives you back. "Damn right it is."

Now, if you don't mind Spencer, I'm going to return to the lawn bowling on Mars channel.

Medication allows people like this man to participate in society. God Bless you, Merck; Buddha approves, Bristol-Myers-Squibb.

OH: The Sporting Blog lives. Now with actual blog-esque looks! And bugs, too, but that's rolling rollout for you.

Earl Campbell's Heisman is sitting in an airport breakfast bar. Life is humbling to an unfair degree: first, massive health problems; second, thousands of lumpenfolk eating their eggs staring at the Heisman purchased with his kneecaps and a hundred concussions (mostly other people's, of course.)

Ryan Perrilloux is Britney Spears. Or something like that.

SMQ offers sterling premature assessments of both Kentucky and USC. Hey, remember that USC plays Ohio State in the third week of the season? Your productivity is done for the day. You're welcome.

The most read college football blog? It ain't this one: Brian's riding Dickrod Fever to the top spot in the offseason.

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Comments

The school and the player both get a Heisman. UT does have Earl’s (and Ricky’s) Heismans on display at their Football offices in the Athletic Center.

Earl used to keep it at his restaurant before it went out of business. The man couldn’t make a good business decision if Warren Buffet offered it to him.

by Steven Jones on Apr 10, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

Hope we beat SC this year ‘cause we’re gonna get rolled in the Shoe in ’09.

by poguemahone on Apr 10, 2008 2:39 PM EDT reply actions

Though now that I think about it, it’s not like my team getting rolled twice on national TV in a calendar year would be a brand new experience for me.

by poguemahone on Apr 10, 2008 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Unlike everyone else I this blog, I love Steely Dan. Seriously.

by DoubleDawg05 on Apr 10, 2008 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

You forgot to mention the commenter’s name is ShampainCadaviar, the first delightful forkful of the word salad that forms his comment, and he’s a USC fan from Southern California.

He probably is a consultant on Pete Carroll’s Facebook page, and is a roommate of tight ends coach/walk-on hazer Brennan Carroll.

by Dave on Apr 10, 2008 3:13 PM EDT reply actions

I am impressed at how much traffic Brian gets over there. The comments per post are almost guaranteed to go over 100. Good community.

by ThreenOut on Apr 10, 2008 3:15 PM EDT reply actions

I had a buddy once who came down with “Dickrod Fever”. We told him that trip to Bangkok called for protective measures, but does anybody listen to the lawyers? No . . .

by MaconDawg on Apr 10, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

Whooooo !!!!!! Michigan(blog) PWNZORS UF(blog)
At least something associated with the football team wins something besides the Capitol one bowl.

Zing !!!!

Eat that, gator boy !!!

Sorry, Orson.

by Scalz1 on Apr 10, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

Wear your steely dan addicition proudly, my friend.
I never knew you were a roller skater?
You’ll learn to be the dandy of gamma chi. Sweet things from Boston, so young and willing.
Moved down to Scarsdale, where the hell am I?

by O Nikos on Apr 10, 2008 4:04 PM EDT reply actions

I would be envious of Michigan’s blogging traffic but for the ignominy of their head coach being called “dickrod” and the subsequent hair-fire that is sure to ensue with the glorious change of coaching regime and culture. Just kiddin’…couldn’t care less…really…but it was fun to write anyway. And how often as a drive-by blog-commenter do you get to use the words “dickrod” and “ignominy” in a sentence? I mean…what an opportunity!

by sb on Apr 10, 2008 4:20 PM EDT reply actions

While, yes, the data provided is a bit old, the assessment that Mississippi State University is comprised of some of America’s fattest young men and women is not too far off from reality.
And, as a Mississippian, I’m quite thankful. That’s the school that is supposed to be training my fair state’s future farmers and animal husbands[sic]. If they can’t get themselves heftily full, how in the hell do I expect them to feed me?

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Apr 10, 2008 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

Nessy, (aka Fulmer) is looking for “tree fiddy”.

by mastergator on Apr 10, 2008 4:33 PM EDT reply actions

Man, I always get bummed hearing about Earl and his health problems. Despite being a Buckeye/Browns fan he was my favorite player growing up, best highlight reel runs of any running back (OK, Payton and Sanders and he are tied. But not Emmit Smith. Fuck him and his straight ahead running behind dominant Cowboy O-lines that’d have made people like Earl break every rushing record ever invented…oops, I digress). Earl is just a decent, humble man too. Just not fair.

by Pants McPants on Apr 10, 2008 4:42 PM EDT reply actions

Jay Cut-

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life …but I’ll take it over 0-8 in the SEC every time.

by AtomicDog on Apr 10, 2008 4:47 PM EDT reply actions

on a totally unrelated note:
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0948339420080409

…next, University of Florida officials will try to pass something crazy like “Bring Your Defensive Secondary to the Game” legislation…

by Excuse me while I whip this out on Apr 10, 2008 5:42 PM EDT reply actions

Steely Dan is awesome. Glad to see some people supporting.

by Sad State of Affairs on Apr 10, 2008 6:43 PM EDT reply actions

Steely Dan? Really?

Is it their dark, sarcastic lyrics?

by Brumski on Apr 10, 2008 7:04 PM EDT reply actions

Steely Dan has evolved from a first-rate studio outfit in the 70’s to a first-rate touring band these days. I’ve seen them twice is the last six years and some of the best jazz sidemen in the world play these shows.

If you like your cultural and literary references obscure, they’re the best.

“We’ve got your skinny girl… here at the western world”

by Mo Claretts' cellmate on Apr 10, 2008 7:48 PM EDT reply actions

Austin Bergstrom International Airport (AUS in Airport Speak) have a lot of Texas-themed items like that. In the table area near the Salt Lick Restaurant, the dress that Anjelica Huston wore in Lonesome Dove is displayed.

by Studley on Apr 10, 2008 8:03 PM EDT reply actions

{insert hilarious “Haitian Divorce” joke here}

by Rich on Apr 10, 2008 8:14 PM EDT reply actions

I for one Orson dedicate myself to increasing your hit numbers in ’08…

but it would help if you brought in a “bunda coordinator” and quit trying to handle all the jobs by yourself

by Futbawl Fan on Apr 11, 2008 8:50 AM EDT reply actions

Steely Dan(s) and Bunda (coordinators). The synchronicity of blog threads can stretch your mind (or insert your own ephemism). Must be Friday!

by MassDad on Apr 11, 2008 12:19 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, I’ve had a Steely Dan problem going on 20 years now. Please stop and get help! Sure, it seems fun now, but in no time you will be a full blown addict, unable to stomach anything else. Then, you’ll realize the only way to really hear Steely Dan as it was meant is to listen to the vinyl copies. This means ridiculously expensive turntable, pre-amps, power amps, speakers made from wood that can only be found in the southeastern corner of Fiji, etc… So just forget about Steely Dan for your own good. May I suggest The Eagles or maybe Billy Joel? Both fine choices with very little chance of permanent damage. Good luck and God speed!

by J. Reimenschneider on Apr 12, 2008 5:07 AM EDT reply actions