FULMER CUP: THE BIG BOARD RETURNS
by Orson on Apr 7, 2008 12:28 PM EDT
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PrintThe big board returns this week, courtesy of Brian, who is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson. We think we're up to speed on Virginia's suddenly impressive point total. Arguments, half-assed justifications, and more lousy accounting follow.
Virginia stands Cavalier strong at twelve after some review of the accounting following the arrest of J'Courtney Williams for credit card theft last week. Add in Mike Brown's spectacular work with grand larceny, and we have ourselves an academically prestigious contender with outlaw tendencies. Al Groh commented on the situation by saying "meh." One question: we have this nagging feeling we owe them points, which if true we're sure someone will be happy to point out for us.
West Virginia stays in the hunt, hanging in there and looking like a real contender to unseat Missouri's impressive lead. Also rising with a bullet (hahahahah!) is Mississippi State, who had two players booted last week after you know an ho-hum la-di-dah GUNFIGHT on campus with a non-student. Colorado has also had the consistent snap and pop of a team capable of nickel and diming its way into things, as well, though if Missouri pulls another score they're looking like the definitive front-runner.
Where's our Obama to unseat them going into the month of graduation parties and the end of spring practice? You might think you can't get caught for underage drinking, and you might be reneging on that lifelong ambition to steal a car in a stoned haze with a pocket full of ripe bud, but we tell you collegiate America: Yes you can! Yes you can!
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How in the hell is Illinois on here with one player … total…. getting arrested? The idiot took three shots in the air, and thats 11 points? Whats that, 3.2 points per shot? Understandable if it was directed at someone, or even something, but this is nuts.
If a guy did that at Florida, he would receive 2, 3 points at the most.
Orson, heal thyself.
by Chris on Apr 7, 2008 12:40 PM EDT reply actions
My favorite UVA story predates the Fulmer Cup, but, when Ahmad Bradshaw (later of Marshall and now a NY Giant) got arrested in Charlottesville, he decided to see if he could get off the hook by telling the officer his name was “Thomas Jefferson.” It didn’t work, but I liked the creativity.
by DevilGrad on Apr 7, 2008 12:47 PM EDT reply actions
#1
Really, were complaining about the points now? Its not science; think performance art, not fiscal accounting.
If Al Afalava is saddled with 8 points for a DUI accident (please note: Jake Locker shall be referred to as The Bus Stop for the remainder of the 2008 season) then surely squeezing off multiple rounds should fall in the 11ish range. All things are relative, artistically relative.
by BennyBeav on Apr 7, 2008 12:52 PM EDT reply actions
Chris—
Illinois’ tally is hyah , and it stands. Oh, just like Ronnie Wilson’s charges for discharging an AK-47 in downtown Gainesville, where we assessed the max points possible given the charges and gave bonus points for it being a Florida charge: nine.
Heal thine own ass.
by Orson Swindle on Apr 7, 2008 12:54 PM EDT reply actions
dayum. that clip of j.r. done got you all feisty!
by kleph on Apr 7, 2008 12:59 PM EDT reply actions
Do not fret, Mountaineers. The presence of Noel Divine all but ensures a 4th qtr rally.
by Govemit Cheese on Apr 7, 2008 1:18 PM EDT reply actions
It was a pretty quiet FC weekend, considering the number of spring breaks going on.
O – we need a bow chicka wow wow remix of the FC song for inspiration.
by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 7, 2008 1:30 PM EDT reply actions
Item:
1.) High gas prices have depressed moped sales/usage in Athens, Georgia.
2.) UGA is off the Fulmer Cup big board.
I never read Freakonomics, but that sure as hell can’t be a coincidence…
by Charles on Apr 7, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions
i feel like WVU should get extra points for every child noel devine fathers in the offseason… they’d win in a landslide
by beckett929 on Apr 7, 2008 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
I like Charles@#9’s explanation.
Don’t know who the Fulmer Cup Obama will be, but I’m fairly certain Tennessee is the Fulmer Cup McCain — the old standby who kind of fell off the radar for a while but is bound to bounce back in a big way to prove to the rest of the world that they are Mr. Inevitable.
by Doug on Apr 7, 2008 2:03 PM EDT reply actions
Mostly happy, yet a bit sad that UGA is off the big board- the Fulmer Cup brings out some strange and different emotions than your usual CFB contests. Athens traffic police: unite! and see what you can do in regard to that matter.
Also, I’m pulling hard for West Fucking Virginia to take the 2008 Fulmer Cup, and backing them hard both in office pools and at the betting windows. It would be poetically beautiful for them to burn a bunch of couches to celebrate winning this “prize”.
by Kanu on Apr 7, 2008 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
As in most things, the SEC West is once again a toss-up.
by impirius on Apr 7, 2008 2:42 PM EDT reply actions
Arkansas with 7 points for 3 misdemeanors?
Check your facts, Jack.
by Rzbker1974 on Apr 7, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions
Mizzou, Nebraska, and Colorado in the top 7? And Iowa State is out due solely to the fact Ames Police steadfastly refuse to enforce the “Lewd Behavior with Animals” ordinance?
Ladies and gentlemen, have we finally found something the Big 12 North does better than anyone else?
by Hawkeye State on Apr 7, 2008 5:41 PM EDT reply actions
Virginia is actually missing TWO points in the Fulmer Cup standings (should be 14 points total now). JCourtney Williams (the very same) was arrested for one misdemeanor count of marijuana possession back in February.
also was arrested in February on a misdemeanor charge of marijuana possession. That case has been continued until February 2009 in Albemarle General District Court.
by UVA_gunning_for_#1 on Apr 7, 2008 9:17 PM EDT reply actions
I’d put Ryan Perriloux as his own entity in the Fulmer Cup standings. He’s clearly only playing for Team Periloux anyway.
by John S on Apr 8, 2008 2:23 AM EDT reply actions
Ummm…hasn’t Penn State had 7 or 8 players booted off the team since last season? Where is PSU in the Fulmer Cup rankings? I’d have thought they’d be #1…
by Ryan on Apr 8, 2008 1:38 PM EDT reply actions
Did you just declare Penn St the winner for ’08 and everyone else is fighting for 2nd place…or did you purposely leave them out because their coach is senile.
by zach m on Apr 9, 2008 10:39 AM EDT reply actions
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