MICHIGAN MAY HAVE WALK-ON QB. DON'T JUMP.

by Orson on Apr 3, 2008 12:39 PM EDT

It's an agonizing time to be a white person. We mean, a Michigan fan. (When writing the Stuff Maize and Blue People Like piece, it was damn hard not to overlap the actual Stuff White People Like list with Michigan fan demos, because even if you're not white and a Michigan grad, you're probably still into the stuff on the list, what with being well-off and educated and all that.)

It's spring, you have no idea what you're going to be looking at on the field for the first time since the Johnson administration--and even then, to be fair, it's wasn't a real regime change going from Schembechler/Moeller/Carr--and you're dwelling on message boards, parsing out articles on voluntary workouts for the slightest shred of meaning, bantering back fanfic simulations in your head ("Maybe the line will be better without all those pesky starters!")

And then, just when you have a solid 9-3 storyline all hammered out in your head, you read this:

ANN ARBOR -- It's too early to know for certain, but it's possible a walk-on could be starting at quarterback for Michigan this fall.

Wait, come back, we...

...well, we knew that shatterproof reinforced glass would come in handy. The walk-on in question is Nick Sheridan, the son of a Carr crony, Bill Sheridan. He's competing against Steven Threet, a Georgia Tech transfer.

Stop weeping. It's unmanly. Maybe a quarterback with the good sense to leave Georgia Tech is an asset to a team, and not someone who couldn't beat out Taylor Bennett, who was last seen missing the broad side of a barn and holding back tears. Beano Cook also agrees with Colin Cowherd on your prospects, which is something else you have going for you:

Beano Cook: I had a couple people tell me that you predicted Michigan to be 6-6

Colin Cowherd: I think Michigan has quarterback issues next year.

BC: They also have offensive line (issues). When I first heard that, I said Oh, Colin and the predictions. Hes wrong. But I think you might be right.

This can mean only one thing, Wolverines: Rose Bowl-bound, baby!

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Comments

Hudsucker Proxy is the best movie ever made

by Jim on Apr 3, 2008 12:46 PM EDT reply actions

At least Brian wears nice suits and has a great day job by the looks of that boardroom.

by GamecockTony on Apr 3, 2008 12:47 PM EDT reply actions

Nick Sheridan sounds more cracker-ish than Chad Henne.

And the other bum was tutored by Chan-fuckin-Gailey, 6 and 6 would be a miracle.

by Seabass on Apr 3, 2008 12:49 PM EDT reply actions

And of course, Michigan is gonna blow as usual.

by Jim on Apr 3, 2008 12:50 PM EDT reply actions

I have the ultimate faith in a guy who couldn’t beat out the guy who couldn’t beat out Reggie Ball for the starting job.

by Scalz1 on Apr 3, 2008 12:51 PM EDT reply actions

The Maize and Blue Letter reads:

Season will suck.

12 37 6 42 13 31

by Allahver Fist on Apr 3, 2008 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

There’s sure alot of plugs for SWPL on this blog…..I checked out that blog and it’s pretty funny, but the posts from the racist dirtbags really ruin it.

by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 3, 2008 1:03 PM EDT reply actions

Hahaha…As someone who drank the Taylor Bennett Kool-Aid after his Gator bowl performance a couple seasons ago, This Steve Threet stuff is highly hilarious.

Taylor Bennett is still tied with Matt Leinart as the only people to throw TDs as their first collegiate pass, so but thats as far as the props go for him from me. I have it on very good authority that he pretty much drank last season away and played hung over at various times.

by Brian on Apr 3, 2008 1:22 PM EDT reply actions

Aren’t you being a touch melodramatic? Michigan has merely lost 4 0L, its best two receivers, its all-time leading rusher, and its all-time leading passer.

Don’t teams normally dominate on offense when they have 3 returning starters, an entirely new offensive scheme, and are being led by a walk-on quarterback with no experience?

No, I am not the least bit worried about Michigan’s 32-year bowl streak. Why do you ask?

by maskedavenger on Apr 3, 2008 1:38 PM EDT reply actions

I predict 8-4 — not including the mezzanine.

by The Great Benhulio on Apr 3, 2008 1:58 PM EDT reply actions

Which chin of Beano’s agreed with Cowherd?

by yoyofutbawl on Apr 3, 2008 2:02 PM EDT reply actions

I was just wondering if this walk on would torch the Gator secondary too?

by Last Dragon on Apr 3, 2008 2:06 PM EDT reply actions

6-6 is incredibly optimistic. I think Wolverine fans should stick with the mantra of “4-8 in ’08”. Suckas.

by paco on Apr 3, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

looks like another year of sucking and then whipping an sec team in a bowl game
blah

by bsb on Apr 3, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

Any hate on Steven Threet because of his “GT pedigree” is silly. Threet went through spring practice at GT then transferred during the summer. Meaning he didn’t even burn a redshirt at GT and was not there for a single football season. There was no “couldn’t beat out Reggie Ball”… he never competed against him really.

by Ramblin' Jeff on Apr 3, 2008 2:19 PM EDT reply actions

Jeff –
I wasn’t hating, and I was misinformed. Point to you, my man.

by Scalz1 on Apr 3, 2008 2:40 PM EDT reply actions

@ 12 & 14
While you remember a bowl win, all the rest of the country remembers is …. this.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ljxN40cx4sE&feature=related

by NativeSon on Apr 3, 2008 3:28 PM EDT reply actions

Eh, I’ll take a good ass-pounding of the Gators. It just means I didn’t have to hear anything from the SEC for the entire off-season. And that’s nirvana.

by D on Apr 3, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions

I’m no Michigan fan. I was just wondering out loud……

by Last Dragon on Apr 3, 2008 4:21 PM EDT reply actions

@18
The 2007 version? it’s a distinct possibility. I’m hoping the 2008 edition shows considerable improvement.

by NativeSon on Apr 3, 2008 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

@ 20.

I have no idea what you’re referring to.

by D on Apr 3, 2008 5:07 PM EDT reply actions

And Nativeson was probably one of the people chasing me around the Citrus bowl, wearing an App State shirt yelling “Gator Bait, Gator Bait”.
Didn’t hear a whole bunch of that after the game, though. Weird.

by scalz1 on Apr 3, 2008 5:26 PM EDT reply actions