STUFF ORANGE AND WHITE PEOPLE LIKE
by Holly Anderson on Apr 2, 2008 12:16 PM EDT
86 comments
As part of our ongoing ripoff of SWPL called "Stuff ____ and _______ People Like," the EDSBS Staff presents "Stuff Orange and White People Like," an analysis of things Tennessee Volunteer fans like. Enjoy.
Pitchforks and torches. A nine-win season is cause for satisfaction elsewhere in D-I, but in the SEC and Knoxville in particular, it's a blight. Any win total under double digits lights up the AM radio dial with orange faithful ready to gut their coach like a catfish of astonishing proportions. Going 5-6 in 2005 brought, concurrently and consecutively, collective apoplexy and vows of silence---they still can't talk about it. Bring up The Season Of Which We Do Not Speak to a Tennessee fan and his eyes will glaze over in rage or incomprehension. Either way, Does Not Compute.
Orson's note: Wonder who those people in Frankenstein who, when confronted with a problem, immediately rush to get a.) an impaling instrument, and b.) fire? For any problem? Tennessee fans, that's who. They're threatening Frankenstein because, with some time in the weight room, he could be the next John Henderson, but noooooo, he wants to kidnap maidens and accidentally drown little girls in lakes all day like a bad monster.
John Henderson rocks fat titties all day, by the way, despite playing for a team we despise. "BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!" comes from his sideline rantings in college, and he also did this, which is now how we wake up every morning.
We do it just like that. Except the wife does it with a padded white glove, and she does it softly, so as not to knock my exfoliating facial mask off. Sometimes she gets a little too into it, and some of the dust lands on our white oxford shirt! It's a funny time, the mornings in the Swindle house!
HFCS That's high fructose corn syrup, friends, and it is a fact of natural law that the highest concentration of HFCS swollen people on the planet reside in Tennessee.
We once saw a woman in white sweatpants crossing Hillsboro road whose ass, perched atop three asses already, had its own ass with advertising sold on it claiming you could book space on the other four asses for reasonable prices. She was wearing a Tennessee sweatshirt, natch.
The Pudgy Parallelogram groans against the weight of its own geometric borders with the surfeit of HFCS-themed goodies: Smoky Mountain Salt Water Taffy (Orange with white lines=tasty, orange with green lines=ass-flavored anise crapsticks), Goo-goo bars, the odd bag of circus peanuts stashed in the glove (good for recovery after the workout, man,) and whatever other high-fructose vehicles manage to land in the seven bins of temptation greeting you in the line at Cracker Barrel.
And if it wasn't bad enough, the following restaurants are headquartered in Tennessee proper:
--Krystal
--Cracker Barrel
--Logan's Roadhouse
--O'Charley's (full disclosure: Dad used to be in charge there, so we know their evil buttery rolls better than most)
--Perkins
You're fifteen pounds down in the chips just to start. Add to that a statewide fascination with the pig--a spectrum moving from barbecue on the west end and transitioning to blood-pressure spiking country ham on the east end--and staying under 200 pounds in the state is an accomplishment in and of itself. If you told us they trained local heart surgeons to perform angioplasty with ice cream scoops, we'd believe it. (Advantage: fascination with pork ensures Tennessee SHALL NEVER BE TAKEN BY GAY MUSLIM TERRORISTS.)
(Clay Travis may insist Florida girls have fat arms against all evidence to the contrary, but that's because there's a contrast between one fat part of the body and another.)
Hunting camo. Worn with the orange Vols shirt, of course, an outfit signalling that even though you may have gotten a lucrative job with that investment bank in New York/Atlanta/Nashville, you're still gully enough to put on the bib, smear a little deerpiss on the ankles of your pants, and get down at the tailgate with some Evan Williams and Coke.
(Tricky move, the Evan Williams: it's the trashy whiskey of your youth, and a deliberate ironic nod to that. However, is everyone with you, semantically speaking? Do they realize you can afford Maker's, and are just going back to the Brown Bomber for funzies, or are they not far enough along in their walk with Ironic Jesus to understand the triple move you're making here? If so, why are you hanging out with them?)
For those doubling up a football weekend with a hunting trip--a not uncommon occurrence--it serves as a multipurpose single outfit for the whole weekend, and comes off in a pinch for quick hay-rollin' or celebratory nudity, which you won't do because no fun please, we're Baptist, and also because you're not LSU fans, who will get naked for three dollars and a can of Miller Lite.
The Church Of Peyton. A Manning sighting in Knoxville is a bigger draw than Elvis, Oprah, and Jesus Christ combined. A street named in his honor on campus. Afghans knitted in his likeness. "My name's Peyton". Volunteers remember, remember the thirteenth of December and rock their Keep Your Fucking Trophy t-shirts to this day with no sense of irony whatsoever.
Orange Oakleys. Vol fans would still be wearing the old Terminator visor models if they could, but being sensitive to shame, they realize they must opt for the smaller, newer variant of the marksman's classic.
Plus, they look like the ones they wear in the army, which is tough, which by extension makes the wearer second-degree-associative tough. And as with all fandom, it's all about second-degree-associative tough. (Exception! Soccer hooligans. See? Second-degree-associative tough is NOT a bad thing.)
Critters!
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
Rasslin'. An NYC-based friend shares the following anecdote:
I once had a bunch of Knoxville boys stay with me when I lived in Brooklyn, and after some (read: lots of) drinking they began to toss wooden chairs off our fifth-story roof onto the sidewalk below without even checking for innocent bystanders or without thought to property damage, and when I protested, one large one turned to me and said, so straight-faced and innocent and sincere, "Honey, we're from East Tennessee. We don't know how to have fun without breakin' shit."
True masters of the "Hey, watch'is!" form, when there's nothing left to throw, there's always a Volunteer:
Drang, Hold the Sturm. While not as joyless as Ohio State fans ("Fuckin' right, dickbag!", says the Ohio State retorter,) Tennessee fans certainly possess a high degree of drang without the sturm Games begin with an almost socialist-feeling recitation of General Neyland's maxims, and then the running of the T, and then the same ceremonies beginning every game, and the same glorious Orange and White People's Song, which all children must learn by heart in school, as their forefathers did and so on and so forth as Tennessee runs the fancified Fulmerbone-I form-snoozefest right at the opposing D....
It's making us sleepy just typing it. How anyone watches it for a whole season is beyond us (Chavis' maiming defense is fun to watch, though, especially Eric Berry, who we're kidnapping, brainwashing, renaming "Wondy Pierre-Louis," and enrolling at Florida in a few weeks. Tennessee fans enter the game with gritted teeth, which is why the pitchforks come out so quickly, and also why Neyland is funereal when they get down by ten points to anyone regardless of the clock or the situation.
Not to unfairly contrast them with LSU fans, but when Tennessee fans are down, the reaction is this:
Tennessee fan: I hate this. I hate you. I hate everything. LuAnn, get your hand off my shoulder. Ain't no pain in the world gonna take the ache outta my heart right now. I hate you all and want you to die.
LSU fan, in same situation: WE GONNNNNAAAA KICK YO AAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Of course, that's an LSU fan's reaction to being up by 14, or down by seventy, or just ordering a Popeye's lunch special on a Wednesday. So perhaps the contrast is unfair, but the truth remains: Tennessee fans approach games with the emotion of relentlessly committed fans, but combine it with a queasy anticipation usually reserved for rectal exams.
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Manning did get screwed out of the Heisman though. No sensible individual would determine that Woodsen deserved it over him. What, a corner that plays two offensive plays per game and he is the best player in CF?
Too bad Michigan didn’t play Nebraska that year, Nebraska would have USC’d them by 30.
by Meatybob on Apr 2, 2008 12:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I was in Breckenridge last week and I didn’t see a singe fat person….
Now that I think about it, I also didn’t see any Black people either. Hmm..
Highly suspicious
by haybeav on Apr 2, 2008 12:29 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Yes, its been a while since we’ve seen the good ole Tennessee haterade. I’m glad its back.
by Jeff from LA on Apr 2, 2008 12:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Oak Ridge National Lab is a fun anomaly of the Knoxville area.
by Brian on Apr 2, 2008 12:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Brian, that’s my hometown, and I heartily concur.
by Holly on Apr 2, 2008 12:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
It’s always good to see the pot call out the kettle on the subject of which school’s fan base is more white trash. Outstanding!
by Pillow Pants on Apr 2, 2008 12:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
A.) John Henderson did not come up with “Blood makes the grass grow”… when I started in the band at Bama in ‘96 the seniors had been chanting “Blood makes the grass grow… KILL! KILL!” when the defense was on the field for their 4 years there, and I doubt seriously that they made it up themselves… so it’s a lot older than JH.
B.) The Chili’s Smokehouse Bacon Burger ad that popped up at the bottom is so appropriate it’s frightening
by PeterPumpkinhead on Apr 2, 2008 12:49 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LSU and SECCG still on the brain huh Holly? Bitterness only exacerbates those heart and diabetes problems you describe.
Let me know when you run across those extra Ainge for Heisman shirts your fellow Orange & White were hawking. There’s supposed to be one for everybody at Chevis Jackson’s birthday party at the roller rink.
by Joshua on Apr 2, 2008 12:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Swindle wrote that bit, Joshua, but thanks.
by Holly on Apr 2, 2008 12:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Brian – That’s also my hometown, and I also heartily concur.
Smokey got nothing on glowing frogs.
by Limedust on Apr 2, 2008 12:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Oak Ridge! I was just there this summer. It was alright.
The little I saw of Knoxville, though, was rather soul killing. Ugh, strip mall after strip mall…
Those Thursday night concerts were sweet, though.
by Vivek on Apr 2, 2008 1:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Well done! Clay Travis picks on Florida because he’s in denial – he married a girl form Michigan for Pete’s sake.
In ‘06 we stayed at the HoJo in Knoxvegas which was the weekend headquarters for the “Volunteer Army”. Scary. There was fat, camo, critters, all served with a big healthy dose of angst. I’m positive that if anyone – especially anyone wearing something that said Alabama on it – had said Charles Woodson they would have been ripped limb form limb.
“$3 and a can of Miller Lite” -priceless!!!
by Picture Me Rollin on Apr 2, 2008 1:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#1
Yeah, Peyton deserved the trophy, because he led them to a NC …. wait .. his name wasn’t Peyton …. ?who ??
Who the fuck is T Martin ?
If you truly think Peyton was better than Woodson THAT YEAR, you are delusional. Shut down every receiver he played against, scored on offense and defense. Singlehandedly won the MSU, OSU and WSU games.
And, with the D that UM had that year, it would have been a hell of a game to watch. Happy fucking retirement Tom Osbourne, you got beat by Mizzou, and still get a share of the championship.
by Scalz1 on Apr 2, 2008 1:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Shouldn’t this be titled: “Stuff Pansy-Orange and White People Like”? Everybody knows that the real home of Orange and White is in Austin…
by Kahuna on Apr 2, 2008 1:18 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Woodson was the best player that year. You don’t have to play offense to be the player in the nation.
However, yes, the Heisman has traditionally gone to offensive players. So, if you want to go by that logic, give it to Peyton.
Nice to see that photo of Bubba and Lulu again. If they have had Internet in their home at any point in the last 5 years, it is safe to say they have hung themselves by now.
by Coop on Apr 2, 2008 1:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Peyton did indeed get robbed of the heisman. I like him alot better wearing Colt blue. :-) But I said the day they “awarded” it that Peyton was robbed.
Everybody else seems to hate Nick Saban…In the words of Hawkeye Pierce “May it be a long and healthy hate!” Roll Tide!
by cybrtyde on Apr 2, 2008 1:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
This is for to laugh at. :-) Very funny stuff!
by ethanator1088 on Apr 2, 2008 1:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Every one of these segments I find something in common with the fans.
Krystal – check!
Evan Williams – check! (My Southern friends get the irony, the Northern ones think it is actually good bourbon.)
Plus, I love the Circle T store with big drums of canned beer for sale on the sidewalk.
by GamecockTony on Apr 2, 2008 1:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Good stuff Holly and Orson. The corn syrup/fat fans bit was especially funny.
by Out of Conference on Apr 2, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Also, jerseys.
Is there an SEC fanbase that wears replica jerseys to games (and everywhere else, for that matter) more than Vol fans?
by Darkknight on Apr 2, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
i was in NOLA the weekend peyton got jobbed for the award that shall not be named. folks were a bit… unhappy there as well.
by kleph on Apr 2, 2008 1:40 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
@ peterpumpkinhead
In Mississippi in the mid-80’s “blood makes the grass grow, Kill’em! Kill’em!” was a common refrain on little league baseball fields. Usually I’d say Mississippi is that last place to get things, but it sounds too much like a psycho redneck, alcoholic little league dad comment.
by lance harbor on Apr 2, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!
wait, no…that’s not right.
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAA!
by The Great Barstoolio on Apr 2, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Peyton didn’t get “jobbed” – did he have a strong argument – yes. In his biggest game of the year, he tossed a soul killing pick-6 to Tony George. In Woodson’s biggest game, he flat out dominated. Would you be arguing Tebow got “jobbed” if McFadden had won this year? Tebow/Peyton, better body of work. McFadden, better performance in big games.
by Ltrain on Apr 2, 2008 1:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
GamecockTony, not even college freshmen in Indiana think they’re buying “good whiskey” for eight bucks a fifth….
I think I just got a 15-year-old flashback hangover merely from reading that Evan Williams reference in Holly’s hilarious post…
by Papa Lou BSU on Apr 2, 2008 1:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
How could you leave out Shoney’s & Captain D’s, rat dere in Nashvega$? Ray Danner’s feelings are hurt real bad.
by yoyofutbawl on Apr 2, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Puleeeze, the Huskers would have given the Wolverines a barbed wire colonoscopy. Big Red would have stuck it in and broke it off.
Big Ten still sucks
by bobo on Apr 2, 2008 1:55 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
What website is that picture of the UT fans from? I remember it was pretty funny but forgot where it was.
by Chris on Apr 2, 2008 1:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Beat the Gators = win the Heisman, Peytie Pie.
by Allahver Fist on Apr 2, 2008 1:58 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The Woodson/Manning thing is tiresome. Mild threadjack – what second-place finisher has the best argument that he got jobbed? Here is a link to winners and runner-ups to assist:
by maskedavenger on Apr 2, 2008 2:00 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Ricky Williams should have won that Heisman, or whatever it’s called.
by Hannibal Montegna on Apr 2, 2008 2:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The picture of Chris Farley in a wig and Larry the Cable Guy dressed in UT gear is classic!
by moose on Apr 2, 2008 2:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I’d say about 4 or 5 of these things would be included in"Stuff Garnet and Black people like." That’s South Carolina fans, for those who live in the other 49 states.
by robert on Apr 2, 2008 2:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I’m glad I can cheer for John Henderson now that he’s with the Jags, but I’m still a little leery of living in the same city as that much badassocity.
by This Guy on Apr 2, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“$3 and a Miller Lite”?
Damn, inflation is hitting hard even in Baton Rogue, LA now…
by Will (the other one) on Apr 2, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Calling for your coach’s head on AM radio? Shit. is. weak.
by Tater Salad on Apr 2, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I hate to say something nice about them, but we went to the UGa game at Neyland three years ago when the Dawgs won by a lot more than the score, and the fans in the stands and in the bars afterwards were great.
I got what I would say was the appropriate amount of shit. No one threw any punches and all arguments ended with shots (of whiskey, not guns).
Infinitely better than tOSU fans.
by OhioDawg on Apr 2, 2008 2:31 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Every day I see trains with dozens of 100-ton tankers of HFCS. They’re always heading east…
by wilbur on Apr 2, 2008 2:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Best thing to come out of UT was Bobby Dodd.
by Brian on Apr 2, 2008 2:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
so i’m at this bar in denver the other night and having a shot with the bouncer and he orders up evan williams. i’m like what the fuck is evan williams? he said it was really good whiskey. i should have punched him in the face. made me throw up later. and, being a professional alcoholic, throwing up is pretty rare.
“i don’t puke when i drink, Ish. i puke when i don’t.”
by fattus on Apr 2, 2008 2:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Thumbs up for the E-dub joke – it’s a regular weekend staple for me (as long as I have plenty of Coke to mix it with).
by ehrenb2 on Apr 2, 2008 2:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
34 – I will go to my grave declaring that Hugh Green was robbed in 1980 for some unknown reason.
Besides, that particular Heisman winner in question snorted all his NFL paychecks up his nose.
by Coop on Apr 2, 2008 2:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I have to back up OhioDawg— we were at the game at Neyland in 2002, and the fans were the nicest by far of any school I’ve ever been to for an away game.
by The Conscience of a Nation on Apr 2, 2008 2:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
HFCS Thats high fructose corn …
The photo next to this paragraph. Is that a real couple? Or two guys dressed up to poke fun at UT? If that is actually a real couple…well, damn.
by blon57 on Apr 2, 2008 3:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Not saying who would win; just saying:
As Ahman Green said himself:
They came out fired up and stopped our run," Green said. “We had to loosen up their defense with passes. They were getting fatigued in the middle of the third quarter. You could hear them huffing and puffing. They eventually rolled over and we could do what we wanted to them.”
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/college/scoreboards/1998/01/02/recap.nebraska.tennessee.html
Michigan’s defense would not have been opened up with the pass. The could have locked up Nebraska man to man and thrown everything against the run. Would Michigan have scored? That is the question. Would have been a great game.
by Publius on Apr 2, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
You shoulda seen em in 2004 when Auburn rolled their ass. It was 31-3 at halftime. The stadium was half-empty by the middle of the third quarter, and that’s including the 25,000 Auburn fans that partied till the ball-game was over.
then we tore down the goalposts and took them to O’Charley’s
by James on Apr 2, 2008 3:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
If someone says Hershel Walker his frosh year in response to #34’s inquiry, I’ll throw up.
Coop – you can suck it! There’s reason OJ hid in Clemson when the pigs were hunting him down… everyone knows you’ll never find a Heisman trophy winner in Clemson.
by Out of Conference on Apr 2, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#51,
Come on. If the Rose Bowl clock operator wasn’t a Michigan man, Wazzu would have been throwing into the end zone for the win.
That’s not domination. That’s almost losing to Ryan Leaf.
by Raider Red on Apr 2, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I liked the UT couple who wore baseball caps saying “MURVUL” & “MARVUL”. It took me a while but figured it out – Maryville. Probably the only semi-intelligent, self-depreciating humor to come out of East TN in years.
by yoyofutbawl on Apr 2, 2008 3:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
If this right here isn’t proof that all VOLS love them some HFCS, I don’t know what is.
Nothing sucks like a Big Orange.
by xmasnvegas on Apr 2, 2008 3:41 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Peyton being “robbed” is a joke. He came up small in big games throughout his career. Woodson was unreal in 97 and without question the most outstanding player in college football. If there was ever a year that the voters got it right, it was 97.
Marshall Faulk should have won, I think he has the biggest gripe.
by DL on Apr 2, 2008 3:43 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Whats the point in buying a $40 handle of Makers Mark or Woodford Reserve if your going to pour a can of Atlanta’s Finest High Fructose Corn Syrup into it? Evan Williams and Coke were made for each other. Check it, its in the Confederate Constitution, the SEC Charter, and the Bible.
(BTW : Has anyone else noticed the appearance of Evan Williams specialty bottles in their local liquor store? Like black labels and “Aged 12 Years” stuff? Really!?)
by Dawg 05 on Apr 2, 2008 3:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
If you’re going to be making a lot of bourbon and cokes, Jim Beam Green Label is the way to go. A little more expensive (around $27 a handle) but not too bad, and it’s perfect for mixing.
by robert on Apr 2, 2008 3:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
MURVUL & MARVUL.
OK, that’s awesome.
Probably the only semi-intelligent, self-depreciating humor to come out of East TN in years.
This is less awesome.
by Holly on Apr 2, 2008 3:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#55
I never said domination, just said it would have been a great game.
by Publius on Apr 2, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“Come on. If the Rose Bowl clock operator wasnt a Michigan man, Wazzu would have been throwing into the end zone for the win.
Thats not domination. Thats almost losing to Ryan Leaf."
Another tiresome subargument related to Woodson/Manning, but someone has to refute it.
If the back judge was not a Wazzu man, Charles Woodson would have ended the game on the heave-and-pray at midfield with WSU pinned in its own end two plays earlier. On that play, Woodson got shoved in the back and the ref took out his flag and took it for a full orbit around his body before replacing the flag in his pocket.
by maskedavenger on Apr 2, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Gino Fucking Toretta was the biggest travesty in the history of that award.
Teams were putting their entire defenses at the line to stop Marshall Faulk and he still ran through them. He was quite simply, incredible.
by Brian O'Blivion on Apr 2, 2008 4:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The only time I have ever had Evan Williams is waiting in line to play kickball at a Mizzou-Western Michigan tailgate this year. A cash-strapped student was walking through the at-bat line, holding a liter bottle of Coke in one hand and a fifth of Evan in the other, offering shots to everyone.
It wasn’t exactly that good, and I know what “not exactly that good” whiskey is like, as I’ve had McCormick’s.
by El Hombre on Apr 2, 2008 4:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- -
without an illegal kick in then end zone on the last play, Nebraska loses to Missouri that year, and we aren’t having this conversation.
by Anon on Apr 2, 2008 4:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Scalz1 —
Osborne didn’t get beat by Misery; he almost got beat by Misery. Not the same. Now Colorado and Preacher Bill McCartney did get beat by Misery and got a national title, what with the fifth down and all.
Retirement gift my well-rounded scarlet-and-cream heiney. 60-3 over a 5 year stretch, topped off by pummelling Tennessee.\
MaskedAvenger:
The 1995 Heisman remains in dispute. Tommie Frazier v. Eddie George? Not a question. Hell, most of us realize that Eric Crouch’s win was to some degree a make-up call from the voters.
by Albino Tornado on Apr 2, 2008 4:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Anon:
Frost to Wiggins to Davison is only illegal if one can prove there Wiggins’ intent to kick.
by Albino Tornado on Apr 2, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
He said he kicked the ball on purpose in a post game interview. If you look at the play, there’s nooooo way you can dispute that.
by scalz1 on Apr 2, 2008 4:59 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
This very funny idea has really been disaapointing since the florida one. How about Larry the cable guy, II I have to listen to one more UT fan say Gaaa- Teer-Done I will snap. He is more popular in Tennsesse than Andrew Jackson.
by Rex Grossman on Apr 2, 2008 5:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The whole “blood makes the grass grow” thing is from a marching cadence used in Marine basic training.
Lee Ermy (sp?) used it in Full Metal Jacket.
by JohnInHuntsville on Apr 2, 2008 5:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
races home to find Oakleys and throw them into trash compactor
I have to admit, I took particular sadistic glee in attending the Cal-UT game last year and watching the couple above realize the path back to the hotel went through Oakland…at night…on public transit.
However, the cloud of Big Orange is, in all sincerity, the only thing preventing me for planning my retirement in Oak Ridge. Just a pleasant town all round even if most of my mother’s family wasn’t from there. However, the fact they ARE from there may explain those mysterious Z chromosomes…
by Vandy J on Apr 2, 2008 7:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
If you look up: “Cuts to the quick” in the dictionary there is this post.
by cans on Apr 2, 2008 10:04 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
(spoiler)
What purple and gold people like: corndogs
what blue and orange people like: jorts
what crimson and white people like: cousins
by Tony the Tiger on Apr 3, 2008 9:05 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I must vigorously protest. As a guy who’s personal domain is 14to9, I carry violent objection to being characterized a Vol, despite my questionable choice of eyewear.
Yes, I’m wearing the Orange Oakleys. They’re Gators orange, replacing the Blue Oakleys I’d lost the year before.
Now fix that shit afore I tear this place up. I humbly suggest this image carries the credibility of my request:
by scranky on Apr 3, 2008 10:48 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
What purple and gold people like: corndogs
what blue and orange people like: jorts
what crimson and white people like: cousins
Comment by Tony the Tiger April 3, 2008 @ 8:05 am
What Uringe and Blew peole like: Livestock. HORNY Livestock.
Safe Sex in Auburn: A big red “X” on the cows that bite.
by AU Cow Pimp on Apr 3, 2008 10:58 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The list of people who got most robbed for the Heisman begins and ends with Rex Grossman.
Eric Crouch? Really?
by Dave on Apr 3, 2008 11:19 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
As an actual Orange fan (as opposed to those southerners who seem to think have a mostly-pale orange uniform allows you to call your team the big orange or something), I’m required by law to state that Don McPherson was totally jobbed in 1987. And that Ricky Williams’ lifetime achievement award, Michael Bishop, Cade McNown, and Tim Couch finishing ahead of McNabb was absurd. Other recent times where the best QB/RB (arguments over recievers, linemen and defensive players are a lot trickier) wasn’t in the top 2 include…
2003 – Jason White wins over Eli Manning(3), Matt Leinart (6), Philip Rivers (7), and Ben Rothlisberger (9)? Okay….
2000 – 3rd-place Drew Brees and 4th place Ladanian Tomlinson were both far better players (yes, in college, not just in the NFL) than winner Chris Weinke or runner-up Josh Heupel
1996 – Danny Wuerffel (?!?!) wins and Troy Davis finishes second. #3? A halfway decent QB from Arizona State named Jake Plummer. #9?!?! Peyton Manning.
1994 – Rashaan Salaam wins and Ki-Jana Carter places ahead of Steve McNair and Kerry Collins who were, you know, actually pretty good instead of just guys who ran for a lot of yards.
by Dava on Apr 3, 2008 12:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Wuerffel had the highest passer rating ever in 96. UF thrashed UT that year while going undefeated in the regular season. That Heisman is not up for debate.
by Ahab on Apr 3, 2008 3:30 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Wuerffel had a record setting season against much better competition. Plummer had a cool nickname and the backing of ABC/Disney/Cthulhu and their legions of casual CFB fans (because of the cool nickname).
by Chg on Apr 3, 2008 4:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Also, I can’t believe Woodson is seriously credited with “shutting down” Big Ten passing games pre-Joe Tiller. Any All-SEC corner of the modern era could shut down the whiz bang passing attacks of the Big Ten simply by showing up.
In 1999 (the oldest stats I could find at the NCAA website), everybody in the Big Ten must have had shutdown corners. Aside from Purdue at #4, there are two programs in the top 40 in passing: Michigan (obviously not a concern for Woodson) at 24, and Penn State at 38.
After ten years of Tiller, he’s made one bad program mediocre, and a couple of copycat awful programs have improved to merely below average. Illinois and Michigan will be test cases for how the big kids on the block fare with this newfangled spread the field passing whatchamagiggy all the kids are talking about. What with their rock and roll music, and their sockhops… JoePa just wants ’em to get off his lawn.
by Chg on Apr 3, 2008 4:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Can’t believe no one has said this yet, but every true Vols fan knows that the biggest H——-n Hose Job was in 1956: Paul Hornung on a sub-500 Notre Dame team losing to Johnny Majors.
by Oren Incandenza on Apr 3, 2008 5:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I dunno what all this E-Dub talk is about, I see more Dickel among strapped-for-cash collegiate Tennesseans. Then again, I hail from West of the Weigels
by MightyMightyMitzu on Apr 4, 2008 12:46 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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