RYAN PERRILLOUX, WINE CONNOISSEUR, LOCAL CHARACTER, QB.
Ryan Perrilloux missed his second practice in a row at LSU, meaning the likely starter at qb for the Taigahs is in trouble again. Which he is:
A server at Kona Grill in Perkins Rowe told The Daily Reveille late Tuesday night that Perrilloux arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes after it closed Friday.
Perrilloux entered the bar and attempted to order drinks. After he was denied service, Perrilloux began to curse and use racial slurs, the server said.
A Kona Grill manager approached Perrilloux, who then cursed the manager. The server said Perrilloux was asked to leave. And the police were called to the restaurant, but Perrilloux had left by the time any officers arrived.
The manager at this point is clearly over getting hundreds of calls from people both wanting to know what happened, as well as those threatening to burn down his establishment and turn his dog into boudin if he even thinks about pressing any charges. Perrilloux, though, could have been in the right in the situation, but only if this was the scenario.
Perrilloux: Barkeep, a glass of your most subtle, well-wrought pinot noir, please.
Bartender: Dude, we’re closed. And we only have a Willamette Valley, and frankly, it’s a little flabby. And this:

Perrilloux: BASTARDS! DO YOU NOT SEE ME IN NEED NOT ONLY NOW, BUT IN THE FUTURE! YOU MUST INCREASE YOUR PINOT NOIR SELECTION IMMEDIATELY AND BE GONE WITH THIS PIFFLE!
Bartender: I’m getting my fucking manager. Hey, are those pink 20 dollar bills in your hand?
If it wasn’t this exact conversation, the Perrilloux is clearly in the wrong. Or the whole thing didn’t happen. No one’s really sure, and even if it did happen, you’re hearing nothing of it—see both the “attention” of curious fans and a personal call from Les Miles, a call that had to go something like “Sir, I’m really, really sorry, here’s some tickets and don’t press charges because seriously, all we’ve got is a redshirt frosh behind him and we’re going to Florida and Auburn this fall. Leave a filet on the back burner for forty five minutes and then take a look at it. That’s his ass on the road if Perrilloux can’t stay on the team.”
RCR sums it up well in an email:
Seriously, think about this. Not only has this guy said fuck you to the rules over and over again, but its at the point now where Miles is actually calling places personally to apologize for his QB’s behavior. How fucking embarrassing is THAT?
It’s so embarrassing that he’s…he’s…he’s going to be the starter this fall? Really? Yes?
Addendum: Umm…this is not the Ryan Perrilloux incident you’re looking for.












25
Text*LSU Holla*End Text.
Comment by Mac — April 2, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
24
“Here’s the interesting thing about this. He couldn’t have picked a stranger place to do this.”
You are under the false assumption that he is thinking about actions before he actually acts. Perriloux doesn’t need that shit.
Comment by JohnInHuntsville — April 2, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
23
Seabass - you need a witness who’s willing to testify against him before the SUV/Grey Goose incident occurs. Sounds like the Kona folks lack the Kahonas. Coward nips. j/k
Comment by Out of Conference — April 2, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
22
Get him an SUV, 5 guns, a hatchet and a bottle of grey goose.
Sorry LSU fans it’s on like Donkey Kong.
Comment by Seabass — April 2, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
21
@ joe,
say what you want about kona, but that shit is tasty. overpriced?? yep…but most restaurants are these days…unless you’re in port allen of course
Comment by gerry dorsey — April 2, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
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DC @ #19…funny!
From a metaphysical standpoint it appears that Mr. Perrilloux (which sounds like phonetic french for perilous) is creating a wonderfully high level of negative inertia which creates the expectation of negativity and will ultimately manifest itself in continually greater levels of unfortunate circumstances.
While a boon to those of us who get to watch and comment, it will create havoc with the individual’s karmic balance and though it provides a tremendous example of an individual expressing his free will, it further exacerbates his other-dimensional efforts at ascension.
Honest, that’s what my lesbian, buddhist psychic told me…
Comment by sb — April 2, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
19
It’s tough out there for a bon vivant.
Comment by DC Trojan — April 2, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
18
they should fire him. then he would have to go back to selling cocaine on da skreets
Comment by steve — April 2, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
17
Perrrilloux actually visited Starksville after he decommitted from Tejas.
Which means that he still would have wound up at LSD, only about a year later.
Comment by yoyofutbawl — April 2, 2008 @ 2:44 pm
16
How many PedEggs will $60MM buy you?
12MM total, if you act now.
Comment by Irwin Fletcher — April 2, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
15
More like Sixty Cent.
Comment by sonofsamford — April 2, 2008 @ 2:31 pm
14
Question is, was RP inexplicably drawn to the ‘Kona Grill because of a perceived Common reference?
Comment by Joe — April 2, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
13
At this point, is there any story involving RP and some combination of casinos, strippers, and alcohol that you wouldn’t believe? If someone told me that Perrilloux was hanging out with Pacman Jones and Marcus Vick at an all-night poker-sex-dogfighting club, I wouldn’t even blink.
Pretty impressive for someone who hasn’t even been a full-time starter yet.
Comment by chefboyardee — April 2, 2008 @ 2:15 pm
12
Brian @ 9, it was more like “osama” and “terrorist”
Comment by john r — April 2, 2008 @ 2:15 pm
11
When does RP get his own category in the Fulmer Cup?
I was just thinking the same. The ETJ3 Award goes to the greatest individual achievement in one-fell-swoop, but I’m not sure that there’s a best-recurring feature award. Whatever’s decided, RP is probably just marginally ahead of Stephen Garcia/mini-MC in that category.
Comment by Aerobab — April 2, 2008 @ 2:14 pm
10
This is all relative to the process…….
of Perriloux Armageddon.
And I for one welcome our new 60 million dollar overlord…..
Comment by CK — April 2, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
9
Shenanigans are what make the world go ’round. I applaud shenanigans in all forms, especially when they sound like the rantings of an alcoholic homeless person.
Also what did he call him? Whitey? Cracka’?
Comment by Brian — April 2, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
8
When does RP get his own category in the Fulmer Cup?
Comment by ATL AU Tiger — April 2, 2008 @ 1:56 pm
7
Also, I thought the Willamette Valley was supposed to be good? But I’m pretty much the last person I’d ask for advice in that category.
Comment by DanF — April 2, 2008 @ 1:51 pm
6
RP is a DH of the 1st order. And so, apparently, is THE HAT.
Comment by Irwin Fletcher — April 2, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
5
Was in an April Fools Joke by the student newspaper?
If not, can Les claim it was?
Comment by DanF — April 2, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
4
However, when WWL contacted the local manager of the Kona Grill this morning, the manager “categorically” denied that any incident took place.
Whoopsy! Looks like someone got paid off! Wonder if RP ponied up the cash himself out of his casino winnings?
Comment by Doug — April 2, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
3
Here’s the interesting thing about this. He couldn’t have picked a stranger place to do this. Kona Grill is one of a number of businesses in the new mixed-use development known as Perkins Rowe (think Atlantic Station but about a tenth of the size). Besides the Barnes and Noble and the movie theater, the shops down there are geared toward your average rich housewife (with the J.Crew being as close to “low-rent” as you get).
The Kona Grill is what it sounds like. A heavily pretentious grill/ bar/ can’t-make-up-its-mind-what-kind-of-food-it-sells so-long-as-it’s-expensive restaurant. It’s one thing to make an ass of yourself in Port Allen, a place known for years as being the place that state legislators, students, and athletes go to get drunk, see breasts, and, otherwise, do things you don’t tell your wife, parents, and tax payers.
The point I’m making is that Perilloux couldn’t have found a more visible place to do something like this. There are places in Baton Rouge that are sympathetic to the football team’s shenanigans. Perkins Rowe is definitely not one of them.
Comment by Joe — April 2, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
2
I’ve gotta be honest… I kind of like the guy.
Comment by Dave K. — April 2, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
1
You couldn’t make this guy up. If he was the asshole boyfriend of The Girl in a college sex comedy, I’d say : “Pffft. Yeah, right”
Comment by Mr. Wrong — April 2, 2008 @ 1:38 pm