RYAN PERRILLOUX, WINE CONNOISSEUR, LOCAL CHARACTER, QB.
Ryan Perrilloux missed his second practice in a row at LSU, meaning the likely starter at qb for the Taigahs is in trouble again. Which he is:
A server at Kona Grill in Perkins Rowe told The Daily Reveille late Tuesday night that Perrilloux arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes after it closed Friday.
Perrilloux entered the bar and attempted to order drinks. After he was denied service, Perrilloux began to curse and use racial slurs, the server said.
A Kona Grill manager approached Perrilloux, who then cursed the manager. The server said Perrilloux was asked to leave. And the police were called to the restaurant, but Perrilloux had left by the time any officers arrived.
The manager at this point is clearly over getting hundreds of calls from people both wanting to know what happened, as well as those threatening to burn down his establishment and turn his dog into boudin if he even thinks about pressing any charges. Perrilloux, though, could have been in the right in the situation, but only if this was the scenario.
Perrilloux: Barkeep, a glass of your most subtle, well-wrought pinot noir, please.
Bartender: Dude, we’re closed. And we only have a Willamette Valley, and frankly, it’s a little flabby. And this:

Perrilloux: BASTARDS! DO YOU NOT SEE ME IN NEED NOT ONLY NOW, BUT IN THE FUTURE! YOU MUST INCREASE YOUR PINOT NOIR SELECTION IMMEDIATELY AND BE GONE WITH THIS PIFFLE!
Bartender: I’m getting my fucking manager. Hey, are those pink 20 dollar bills in your hand?
If it wasn’t this exact conversation, the Perrilloux is clearly in the wrong. Or the whole thing didn’t happen. No one’s really sure, and even if it did happen, you’re hearing nothing of it—see both the “attention” of curious fans and a personal call from Les Miles, a call that had to go something like “Sir, I’m really, really sorry, here’s some tickets and don’t press charges because seriously, all we’ve got is a redshirt frosh behind him and we’re going to Florida and Auburn this fall. Leave a filet on the back burner for forty five minutes and then take a look at it. That’s his ass on the road if Perrilloux can’t stay on the team.”
RCR sums it up well in an email:
Seriously, think about this. Not only has this guy said fuck you to the rules over and over again, but its at the point now where Miles is actually calling places personally to apologize for his QB’s behavior. How fucking embarrassing is THAT?
It’s so embarrassing that he’s…he’s…he’s going to be the starter this fall? Really? Yes?
Addendum: Umm…this is not the Ryan Perrilloux incident you’re looking for.












36
At least no one ordered Merlot while he was there. I can hear RP now: “I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!”
Comment by the croominator — April 3, 2008 @ 9:48 am
35
An employee of the Kona Grill has gone on record (anonymously) with the Daily Reveille here at LSU confirming the story.
http://media.www.lsureveille.com/media/storage/paper868/news/2008/04/02/News/Employee.Perrilloux.Calls.Kona.Grill.Server.osama-3300160.shtml?reffeature=recentlycommentedstoriestab
Comment hilarity ensues.
Comment by Jennifer Farrell — April 3, 2008 @ 9:46 am
34
The Willamette Valley certainly produces great Pinots. Just like Napa and their production of great Cabs, you will get your fair share of mediocre wines. Since Willamette is relatively young, it isn’t as well known and hasn’t developed quite the reputation of the established regions in the wine industry. See the Columbia River in Washington as another example as a young, but good region. Also, while the label shown here is listed as “Cheap Red Wine” it is actually a decent table wine that has been around for decades.
Comment by Stephen — April 3, 2008 @ 8:52 am
33
Jeff @28 - If its all rumors, then why isn’t he back at practice? There is obvioulsy something going on……
Comment by Last Dragon — April 3, 2008 @ 8:23 am
32
Of course the RP false alarm has covered up the real LSU news of the day, the spirited Fulmer Cup debut of backup linebacker Shomari Clemons:
http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/17212417.html
(second story)
Note that after being pepper- sprayed, the presumably blinded and gagging Clemons, still game, made an apparent grab for the officer’s weapon. This no doubt led to the next step in the police manual after pepper spraying: Rapid Applied Skull Thrashing. The resulting comprehensive beatdown must be the explanation for why he escaped with a misdemeanor charge only.
Comment by BillyCannonIsMyCo-Pilot — April 2, 2008 @ 9:49 pm
31
If he truly wanted a Pinot Noir, he deserves this crap.
Order a Malbec — the juice of a $60 mln man — and he would have a new je ne sais quoi to his game.
Personlly, I think Mad Dog is likely his drink of choice.
Comment by Allaha — April 2, 2008 @ 9:37 pm
30
The least thing he could do is transfer to South Carolina.
No. Seriously. We need a quarterback.
Go Cocks!
Comment by Jobu Needs a Refill — April 2, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
29
If RP is actually in trouble again, he might manage to survive this by spending every waking moment for the next four to six months running Tiger Stadium’s steps until he throws up something he ate in 1994.
Comment by Studley — April 2, 2008 @ 7:33 pm
28
Good job posting unsubstantiated rumors, cause that is what this is. There are numerous reports and articles refuting this article and saying that RP didnt cause any trouble at all. Just because he has had his troubles in the past doesnt mean it gives you the right to crucify him over the slightest rumor that just so happened to come out over April Fools.
Comment by Jeff — April 2, 2008 @ 5:57 pm
27
I have a hard time reconciling Perrilloux’s off field behavior with the fact that he looks like lovable Kenan Thompson. This actually makes his antics even funnier. I loved him in Snakes on a Plane.
Comment by Hokie Andrew — April 2, 2008 @ 5:15 pm
26
Before you know it, he’ll be on Dr. Phil’s show. Along with Brittney Spears. What is Cajun for “train wreck?”
Comment by Sherry — April 2, 2008 @ 4:30 pm