First the H-back, then then fullback, and now Iowa’s just said to hell with every back not prefaced with “quarter.” Or they may be forced to after Jevon Pugh, the only scholarship back on the roster for a team that likes to run the ball way more than they pass it, just decided to hit spring break and stay on spring break, brah.

Iowa running back Jevon Pugh is not enrolled for classes this spring semester, according to the university’s registrar’s office…If Pugh no longer is in Kirk Ferentz’s plans at Iowa, it would leave a hole at running back for the Hawkeyes next season. Albert Young and Damian Sims have exhausted their eligibility, and Pugh was listed as Iowa’s third-team running back. No other running back posted a rushing statistic last fall.

Like most Midwesterners, the weather drove him into that most dire of states: becoming a Parrothead. But one wonders what injury finally did Pugh in: throat chafing from the beer bong? A pulled penis from too much co-ed submission wrestling? A sunburn on the ass from waking up nude on the rooftop of a Cancun hotel…again? Or the siren song of staying on spring break FOREVER, man? That guy selling hemp jewelry on the beach in ten years who’s so weathered he looks like he’s been strapped to the front of a clipper ship for a decade? That’ll be Pugh.

Anyway, running backs are so 20th century. A good quarterback slam play and some end-arounds with the ubiquitous stunningly fast white wideout can get you to nine wins, Hawkeyes. At least, it seemed to work for Florida last year, and also made Verne Lundquist’s life as an announcer somewhat easier.

Tebow.