DOES GENE CHIZIK NOT LAUGH? NO, ACTUALLY, HE DOESN’T.
If you do hear gusty laughter at Iowa State, it’s not coming from the head coach, who reminds you that sharks do not laugh, because they (like good defenses) are remorseless killing machines. Defensive coordinators, however, may laugh when it is right and acceptable to do so.
“I think it’s a little more smoothly flowing,” was how linebacker Jesse Smith put it. “We can concentrate more on football rather than figure out if he’s yelling this tone, if he means it. It’s looser just because we don’t have to figure out the coaches and we can have some fun with them now. We know their personality and their humor style.”
Coach Chizik has a sense of humor?
“I’m talking about coach (and defensive coordinator Wayne) Bolt.”
Thank you for the clarification, Jesse. The idea of Gene Chizik laughing at anything but the sound of a quarterback suffering severe brain trauma just seems so discordant with everything we assume about the universe. As an aside, in searching for the link in the previous sentences of Joel Klatt being gang-pummeled by Chizik’s ‘05 Texas defense, we found an inspired Texas highlight clip…inspired in the sense that if you combine Vince Young whizzing the ball around at will with Freddie Mercury, you get something completely and utterly un-gay.
Okay, a little gay, but in the best possible way. Just watch this and you’ll agree.
He threw like a drag queen heaving cantaloupes at a bouncer, but he’s still the best college football player we’ve ever seen, dammit–Judy Garland throwing motion and all.









1
Kernel says:
Wayne Bolt makes Mark Mangino look like . . . who’s a really skinny person?
April 1st, 2008 at 11:42 am
2
Kahuna says:
Thanks Orson for the good memories. That was the only time during the ‘05 season that I was able to make it back to Austin for a game and it was when I fully realized that not only was Vince Young living 3-4 seconds ahead of the rest of us, but he had a team surrounding him that could go all the way.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:49 am
3
The Great Barstoolio says:
“Like a tiger!/Defying the laws of gravity!”
Priceless.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:08 pm
4
Brian says:
Call grammar police on that headline.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
5
Kenny says:
That clip explains the rise of Dan and Cody Hawkins …
Who, also, might consider using that song for something or other.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:36 pm
6
GamecockTony says:
Wait… you aren’t implying that Freddie Mercury was gay, are you?
April 1st, 2008 at 12:45 pm
7
Rob says:
#1: The Olsen twins?
April 1st, 2008 at 12:50 pm
8
3rd says:
What is an “Iowa”?
April 1st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
9
Signal to Noise says:
Vince Young was most definitely “Mr. Farenheit” in Austin.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:03 pm
10
ChemE93 says:
K0D1 8URN$ W1LL 83 3V3N 83TT3R!!!!!!!1!
April 1st, 2008 at 1:19 pm
11
This Guy says:
Kid could play, that’s for damn sure.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
12
Last Dragon says:
Best ever?? C’mon now…………
April 1st, 2008 at 1:24 pm
13
Oops Pow Surprise says:
There is no innuendo present in “I’m bout to whoa, whoa, oh EXPLODE” whatsoever. None.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:39 pm
14
HeadThief says:
Bill Simmons described VY’s throwing motion as “trying to fling a turd off his hand” or something like that. Whatever you call it, it worked for him.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:46 pm
15
Carlinthemarlin says:
Vince Young could do the Scott Frost Shot Put and it wouldn’t matter. It’s easy to be a great passer when all of your receivers are wide open because the other defense is trying to figure out how to keep you from running seventy yards to pay dirt.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:06 pm
16
yoyofutbawl says:
A Chizik Nickel for his thoughts. Do they plan on issuing commerative dimes this year?
April 1st, 2008 at 2:49 pm
17
beast in bama says:
That video brought a tear to my eye. Good times…
April 1st, 2008 at 4:56 pm
18
GW3 says:
For whoever said Wayne Bolt was fat… you need to look him up, he has lost a tremendous amount of weight and looks good now.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:27 pm
19
shovel pass says:
Lost a ton of weight? Yes. Looks good? Not so much….
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:16 pm
20
ISUFan22 says:
Before you rip on Coach Bolt, you may want do to your home work.
Bold – no longer fat
Mangino – still growing
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
21
ISUFan22 says:
Excuse the typos, was going along with the theme in the original posting.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:16 pm
22
Rabo Karabekian says:
I’ve had dinner a couple of times with Chizik, and he’s actually a pretty fun guy.
F*** him for the way he left Auburn, but still, he’s pretty fun to hang out with and have a few brews.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 pm