CURIOUS INDEX, 4/1/08
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You sexy Vandals, you. Idaho is getting GRRRR tough this offseason. How do you know? Because they’re COVERING THEMSELVES IN BABY OIL.
We would love to do a photo like this of all the bloggers we know covered in baby oil, if only because people continue to have too many children, and if we’ve ever heard of effective birth control, that would be it. (HT: Fight, Fight BSU.) Steele speaks! In lists, of course, because he’s Phil Steele, but we listen nonetheless. The winningest program overall and on the road over the past five years is USC, something that should surprise exactly zero and none of you reading this. The second-winningest program on the road is LSU, while the fourth-winningest on the road is Georgia, something that really shouldn’t count since Georgia doesn’t go anywhere they can’t get to on a single tank of gas. (That’s changing!/no more Dooley homebody stuff/Florida doesn’t travel either/etc! We know, we know.) Perrilloux out. Again. Ryan Perrilloux, presumably somewhere in a Baton Rouge apartment yelling at the wall about his future as a sixty million motherfucking man, is missing from LSU’s practices, meaning that after Miles let him back on the team and spelled out precisely what the terms of his obligations would be, Perrilloux nodded, turned around, and did the opposite. Smrt! If anyone needs him, Perrilloux will be working the tables down at the Hollywood Casino. You know, just watching. Houston Nutt is happy, contented, excited, fluff piece all things green and not pear-shaped, etc. Tennessee’s ticket prices are going up due to fatter asses. Tennessee ticket prices are soaring up $19 a ticket on average, with peak prices of $70 for the Florida and Alabama games. “We spent endless hours looking at ways to make this happen without raising the prices of tickets, but the facts haven’t changed. People are just bigger now, and we need to make sure we put as many people in the stadium as we can without the whole thing getting ridiculous,” says AD Mike Hamilton, who refused to attribute the ticket price raise to obesity. “We just have big fans, and that’s not a bad thing. It just means you have to pay more per seat for that size.” |
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1
RFN says:
$70 dollars for the Florida – Tenn tickets just means that there will be a lot more Gator fans in the stands than the Vols want. Those hillbillies ain’t got that kind of flow laying around up there.
aside – Orson, when does the countdown to kickoff start? I mean, it is April and suffering through opening day baseball highlights has me thoroughly depressed already.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:32 am
2
Last Dragon says:
Lee and Hatch have to be two of the worst QB’s in college football history for Miles to continue to tolerate RP’s bullshit.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:34 am
3
Crabapple Buck says:
tOSU lets me pay the same for Youngstown State as I do for Michigan.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:34 am
4
Doug says:
We Bulldogs are just trying to preserve Earth’s precious national resources, don’tchaknow. And when the team goes out to Tempe in September, they’re taking the Gossamer Condor.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:35 am
5
AllWhoYonder says:
Crabapple, so does that mean Michigan’s a bargain or that you get hosed for Youngstown State?
April 1st, 2008 at 8:37 am
6
Orson Swindle says:
Doug–
Don’t let Rennie Curran pedal that thing on the way out there. You will be in Tempe in 2 hours, but the wings will be on fire.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:38 am
7
etsuVol says:
$19 for the entire 7 home game ticket package, or less than 3 bucks a game. We can scrounge that up by rifling though the couch cushions…both the couch inside and the ones on the porch.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:46 am
8
James says:
no word yet on how much prices will go up due to Tennessee being “some snitches”
April 1st, 2008 at 8:47 am
9
Middle America says:
From the Nutt article “We haven’t been to a bowl game since 2002…” Nutt needs to do a little more research on the program. Ole Miss won the 2004 Cotton Bowl.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:49 am
10
UgasTexan says:
Do I smell an April Fool? Doubting an AD would hint at obesity as a factor for raising prices… but, stranger things have happened.
Oh, and Georgia Tech: you’re on the big board! Have a drink!
April 1st, 2008 at 8:51 am
11
RaginCajunRebel says:
re: Ryan Perriloux– at least he’s consistent. LSUJoshua, any thoughts? Don’t you people have any pride? To paraphrase the old Louisiana saying, RP must have pictures of Miles with a dead boy or a live goat.
re: UTKnox prices for fatties:
Wish that I was on ol’ Rocky Top
Down in the Tennessee hills
Aint’ no skinny folks on Rocky Top
They all weigh at least 2 bills
Once I had a girl on Rocky Top
Half bear, other half fat
Bigger than Phil,
Smelled like pig slop
I still dream about that.
Sloppy Top you’ll always be
Fat as fuck to me
Good ol’ Sloppy Top
Sloppy Top Tennessee,
Sloppy Top Tennessee
(apologies to Holly in advance, UT’s only positive)
April 1st, 2008 at 9:06 am
12
PW says:
I’m not sure it’s an April Fool’s joke so much as it is Orson making fun of Tennessee fans by using his trademark move: adding humorous quotes to news articles to liven them up.
I mean, you can click on the link and see that Hamilton didn’t say that.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:09 am
13
Last Dragon says:
The RP story has to be April Fool’s. Didn’t even think about that.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:12 am
14
RaginCajunRebel says:
PW: Facts are for boring people. Here at EDSBS, random misquotes are considered law.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:15 am
15
JeffAU says:
While not as ghey as that Georgia picture that circulated a few years back … why would any coach/AD/SID think this kind of picture is a good idea?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:20 am
16
ThreenOut says:
The news isn’t nearly as funny without the misquotes
See fark.com
April 1st, 2008 at 9:22 am
17
wardo says:
It’s been 533 days since Idaho beat a 1A err FBS opponent, so really how tough can they be?
April 1st, 2008 at 9:26 am
18
MorningBeer says:
I think “Out” magazine just found their April ‘08 cover.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:32 am
19
dudis41 says:
#18
+1 to you sir.
Can’t blame them for trying to broaden the fan base.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:40 am
20
Crabapple Buck says:
AWY @5
I guess the ticket department is run by socialists. They know the proletariat will pay whatever they ask. Although YSU would give UM all they could handle based on UM’s first FBS foray.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:46 am
21
Crabapple Buck says:
Or FCS former I-AA. WTF.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:47 am
22
Doug says:
Pfft, like Out has any subscribers in Idaho other than Larry Craig.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:55 am
23
Joe says:
I’m starting to think Perilloux has a serious social disorder. Honestly, someone needs to have him checked out for Asperger’s or something. Sheer idiocy doesn’t explain all of this.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:58 am
24
Pants McPants says:
Crabapple, you’re forgetting the best part of the OSU ticket office (if you are an alumnus), you get to THINK you are paying for Wisconsin or Penn State tickets only to be “switched” to YSU after they cash your check…
They really should just enclose a picture of Nelson pointing with their ticket applications…
April 1st, 2008 at 10:03 am
25
ThreenOut says:
@22…
have you been on a college campus these days?
April 1st, 2008 at 10:04 am
26
Irwin Fletcher says:
I can only imagine the music being piped in the Vandals’ training facility during the big waxing party…
MACHO
MACHO MAN!
I WANT TO BE A
MACHO MAN!
April 1st, 2008 at 10:10 am
27
sb says:
Still trying to figure out the fractured logic of charging more for seats to obtain more of them because of the large size of the purchasers…its beyond me, but I like it.
On another note, my last venture into the stadium at knoxville resulted in my narrow ass (as described by my favorite dawg) actually not fitting within the painted seat guidelines…and compare that to the average UT fan who goes 5′8″ and 225…he’d only get a cheek and a quarter in the same space. With those parameters the Swamp could sell another 30,000 tickets…when will Foley start using that bald head of his, dammit.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:14 am
28
okiedomer says:
+100 cocktails to the vandals!
i love it – it takes some serious balls to say to a bunch of 20yo man-children who are stuck playing football in idaho, “hey guys, i need you shirtless and oiled up in the weight room in 20 minutes. chop-chop” – there’s seriously so many great things about that picture that i don’t know where to start…if i had to guess, i’d guess roughly 70% of idaho’s african-american population is in that picture…the only thing missing is a beer-gutted kicker with a cig in his mouth
April 1st, 2008 at 10:18 am
29
Brian says:
The Post titles are a little out of order. Shouldn’t “Pull your shirt down” be bumped up a post?
I think all the women love these posters, that’s why they must do ‘em. Plus they always have some shit about “earning your spot” onto that pic.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:26 am
30
oc phil says:
I actually was a little surprised that USC was so far ahead in road winning percentage, considering that the only loss at home during that span was to effin’ Stanford.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:28 am
31
Brian says:
UgasTexan: A) the kid is still a recruit, not a team member. B) Oh lord underage drinking in the spring of your senior year, heaven forbid!! This kid will be juuuuust fine, don’t worry.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:33 am
32
poguemahone says:
Orson’s clearly becoming desensitized to homoerotic imagery if this, of all things, doesn’t have the “keep it gay” tag.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:35 pm
33
Because They Can says:
“Oh lord underage drinking in the spring of your senior year, heaven forbid!!”
It’s refreshing to see that from a techie. I usually hear, “That terrible, heinous, fork-tongued devil Richt is letting his demons run wild in Athens!” when he hands out just a one game suspension for such as that.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:58 pm
34
Techie says:
Well, I’m sure that Johnson will suspend him, being as he is not yet a student nor on the team yet.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:10 pm
35
Raider Red says:
I only count 40 guys in that picture…were the tubby O-linemen and kickers not invited? Hate to be the coach who tells them, “yeah, sorry, we didn’t think you should be in the pic.”
April 1st, 2008 at 1:34 pm
36
T. Kyle King says:
We would love to do a photo like this of all the bloggers we know covered in baby oil, if only because people continue to have too many children, and if we’ve ever heard of effective birth control, that would be it.
Speak for yourself, Swindle. With the beard, I’m a BILF.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:43 pm
37
wardo says:
@35
You counted the guys in the picture and then critiqued the attractiveness of possible outcasts? Easily one of the gayest comments in EDSBS history.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
38
fattus says:
@22
i know of at least two more. some couple from new jersey moved to idaho and somehow are shocked one of them lost their health benefits.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:39 pm
39
Brian O'Blivion says:
#36, are you saying you’d like to fuck yourself? Just sayin.
April 1st, 2008 at 5:52 pm
40
T. Kyle King says:
# 39:
Good point.
I should have written “BYLF,” which is pronounced the same way but is written in the second person.
Also, it looks like middle English, which is kind of cool.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:06 pm
41
BamBam95 says:
http://www.vandalscholarshipfund.com/Content/Assets/01%20Track%2001.mp3
They also have a nice little rap to go along with the pic.
Think Revenge of the Nerds.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:15 pm
42
Doug says:
If my past history is any indication, I only qualify as a BYJWTBFW (a Blogger You Just Want To Be Friends With).
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 am