JOE PATERNO IS READY FOR THE SINGULARITY
by Orson on Mar 31, 2008 11:55 AM EDT
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PrintJoe Paterno, ah, that funny old guy! Just joshing on about how he could coach another 10 years, ho-ho! What drollity!
"I don't even care if I get a contract. I'll be very frank with you," the 81-year-old Paterno said Saturday in his first meeting with reporters in three months. "I think the university will do what they think is right, whenever the time comes. Right now, I'm very comfortable."
"What do I need an extension for?" he asked before joking that he could coach "just another 10 years."
Blind peasant, you don't even see what's coming your way, do you? Paterno will survive to see the singularity on his Mediterranean diet, lack of exposure to radiation from portable electronic devices, and healthy insistence on not using horseless carriages to get everywhere. Then, just as Ray Kurzweil predicts will happen, he'll have all of his organs replaced and coach Penn State football for hundred of years barring severe catastrophic bodily injury or murder.
That Little Rascal: Paterno to coach until molten lead rains from the sky.
Somewhere in that house are bags and bags of blue and white Nittany vitamins. We'd bet our head in a jar on it.
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You don’t tell JoePa when to retire. JoePa retires you.
by ThreenOut on Mar 31, 2008 12:08 PM EDT reply actions
JoePa vs Castro - who can remain in power longer?
by Brian on Mar 31, 2008 12:26 PM EDT reply actions
Penn Staters are starting to get a bit pissy about the whole situation – the local media is having a field day going on and on about Joe’s stubbornness and disconnect.
We’ve never done anything like this before – I fear that we will not do it well.
by PSUgirl on Mar 31, 2008 12:33 PM EDT reply actions
Joe Pa is to CFB coaching what Furman Bisher is to sports “jounalism.”
by NRBQ on Mar 31, 2008 12:38 PM EDT reply actions
I love in the article that he decided to eat pizza throughout the press conference.
by DanF on Mar 31, 2008 12:53 PM EDT reply actions
They say it was pizza. What they don’t say is that it was topped with Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Canadian Bacon, and BRAAAAAIIIINS.
by RaginCajunRebel on Mar 31, 2008 12:58 PM EDT reply actions
man, I was hoping that there were going to be some Large Hadron Collider jokes in here when I saw the title. I’m kind of disapointed.
by NDTom on Mar 31, 2008 1:23 PM EDT reply actions
“Coach Paterno? There’s a Coach Dooley on line four, wanting to talk with you about your future in forced gardening.”
by Kenny on Mar 31, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
by PW on Mar 31, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
Yea that must have been in my subconscious. I know he stepped down, but it was the natural joke, as that post shows.
by Brian on Mar 31, 2008 1:52 PM EDT reply actions
Hayley Lafontaine wants JoePa to coach forever.
by yoyofutbawl on Mar 31, 2008 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
that picture disproves what i’ve long said of fat people in grocery stores: just because you’re on a rascal, doesn’t mean you are a rascal
by okiedomer on Mar 31, 2008 2:21 PM EDT reply actions
And Castro ascended to power earlier – born the same year – but Joe had to wait in the wings behind Rip Engle – before he got his chance – the real competition, however, as I’ve said before, is QE2 – also born in 1926 – and accused of being out of touch – also refuses to announce a succession plan…
by PSUgirl on Mar 31, 2008 3:25 PM EDT reply actions
A Little Rascal? Paterno was once a Little Rascal but in his old age, he’s going to travel around in style: http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=davros&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2
by Dante on Mar 31, 2008 4:16 PM EDT reply actions
The REAL competition is Joe vs. the polar ice caps.
by mhentz on Mar 31, 2008 5:58 PM EDT reply actions
The real reason Joe continues coaching is, unlike that fella down south, he does have time for this sh*t!
by PSU Guru on Mar 31, 2008 8:38 PM EDT reply actions
PSUgirl, the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Mountbatten-Windsors are royalty, not executives, and don’t need to announce succession plans. It’s all spelled out: Charles, William, William’s kids if any, Harry, then Harry’s kids if any, then Randy Andy and his daughters. The only open question seems to be which name Charles will use: “George VII” seems to have more going for it than “Charles III,” which sounds more Spanish Habsburg than Anglo-German.
by PJ from NU in SF on Mar 31, 2008 8:49 PM EDT reply actions
You’ve not spent much time in Central Pennsylvania. Joe Paterno is not an executive.
Of course, the origin of the name Charles is German (Karl) – I’d say that the usage of “Charles” waxes a bit more French, if anything, as it is exclusive to English and French. I’ll admit that it does sound a bit more common, or, perhaps, beheaded.
by PSUgirl on Apr 1, 2008 9:47 AM EDT reply actions
PSUgirl, my last time there was the Rainbow Festival of 1986, and thankfully, I’ve never been back.
by PJ from NU in SF on Apr 1, 2008 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
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